Felt excluded on the course
Hi all. Long time lurker and first time poster. I'm from South Asia and have been in the UK as a student for a few years. I am in my 30s. I was on a PGCE course with a university last year. It had about 10 international students myself included and the rest from Africa.
I tried really hard to talk to people and make friends with British students but no success. It was people of all ages on the course from 21 to 55, mostly 26-40. When I tried to ask how people were doing they only said good thanks and carried on with their stuff. I sat next to Brits at lectures and when we had group discussions in tables they completely ignored me so I had to move tables and was only "accepted" at the international students table.
Or sometimes when I came early and wanted to sit next to Brits they said all the seats were taken yet later one or two wasn't taken due to someone's absence. When asked if I could join them at the table later they said they were sitting somewhere else. Same in the canteen during breaks. In the group chat my messages would often go unnoticed/ignored.
I was basically always sat with other international students (all in their 30s or older) and made friends with them but they were only talking to and hanging out with each other and barely trying to hang out with the locals.
At the same time we had a Russian on our course and people were so eager to chat to him and would sit next to him in class/canteen all the time. He was popular and alwas surrounded by Brits and made lots of friends, went out with them all the time, pubs and more. He had no issues at all and was liked by everyone. Is it because he's into football and drinking and we aren't or something else? Just like the rest he'd often pay very little attention to me and hardly speak to me although he was generally okay.
The course just ended and honestly looking back at it I realize I felt totally excluded and now that I spoke to other internationals about it they said they weren't even trying in the end because all their tries to bond with locals were unsuccessful and they quickly realized it would be a waste of time. They were only hanging out with each other and not with Brits.
Why is it like that? I'm sure I'm not the only one who experienced that but i want to know why a Russian was immediately accepted by everyone and even viewed as one of them and we weren't..
It effected my mental health and now I'm just frustrated and angry. Sometimes I wish I was European. I really tried to fit in but it seems like I wasn't accepted no matter what just like other international students. The university wasn't helpful and they didn't care or do much at all.