It has a lot to go for and they could do more, a lot more, so let's give them a little push.
PS - I didn't choose nor generate that image, I didn't even realise it picked it, I was too busy constructing what I wanted to say and express, I didn't even see it. but yes, I changed it to an official art of the 2022, because thats what I am more looking towards
As-salāmu ʿalaykum everyone. I'm writing this because I need honest advice, not reassurance or excuses. Over a period of time, I made a serious mistake at work. Greed took over, and I wrongly took reward points that weren't mine. I know what I did was dishonest, and I have no one else to blame but myself. I have completely stopped. Recently, I heard that my workplace is investigating someone over similar behaviour, and hearing that has shaken me. Since then, I haven't been able to stop thinking about what I've done. I've barely slept, my appetite has disappeared, and I genuinely regret my actions. What hurts the most is that I actually love my job. It's the first job I've truly enjoyed, and the thought of losing it fills me with fear. More importantly, this has made me realise how far I drifted from Allah. Instead of being grateful for what I had, I let greed take over. I don't want to return to Allah only because I'm scared of losing my job. I want to return because I know I've wronged Him and wronged myself. I keep thinking about the verse where Allah says not to despair of His mercy, and I want to make sincere tawbah and remain steadfast whether things become easy or difficult. My questions are: From an Islamic perspective, what should sincere tawbah look like in my situation? How do I make sure my repentance is genuine and not only motivated by fear? Has anyone here experienced making a serious mistake, sincerely repenting, and finding that it changed their relationship with Allah? Please be honest with me. I know what I did was wrong. I'm not looking for ways to avoid responsibility or hide what happened. I'm simply asking for Islamic guidance on how to return to Allah sincerely and become a better person.
I know I messed up, I saw how expensive everything was, and how much you have to spend to actually get certain amount of points, and I just kept going for 2 whole weeks and I didnt stop, I tried stopping myself, but I didn't, and they all respect me, rhe manager always speaks very highly of me, now when he realises it was me, the disappointment in his face will last a lifetime.
I did one thing, just made a new points account where I can earn my own points and leave the other account logged out snd inactive to avoid the company from seeing it being used any further, and I am looking for a 2nd job so if I do lose this one atleast that way I will have something to fall back on too.
Some of my friends in my workplace, whom I highly trust said they probably wont look too deep into it if its just a flag, because I cannot remember for the life of me if he said, "Its flagged and investigated." Or just "flagged". I'm hoping its the latter, but I dont know.
I had a very similar situation with the authorities 5 years ago where I did a big crime, at the end of it, nothing major happened, I was taken to a holding cell but after that day, during ramadhan I prayed, sooooo much as if I knew I was gonna die in a few months time, I stayed up late night reading quran, understanding the meaning, I barely touched a games console, I had my phone taken away and my laptop, I didnt have anything, and 5 years later that situation hasnt been mentioned by the police, a part of me believes ONE day it will come back to bite me, I do keep that in mind, but I dont let that blind me at the Mercy of what Allah did, made it as if it never happened, even on my DBS it shows no record as if nothing happened, have I gone back to reclaim my phone or laptop or even ask if I can take them? No, I dont need them back, nor is it worth going back for a phone and laptop I dont even need anymore.
And now a similar situation is happening, a few days before I knew about the flag, I asked to myself and to Allah, if only there was something that would bring me back, yes I had something but I am so low on energy, I struggle to even pray even tho I want to pray as each day goes, and now something has happened where even when I was sooo tired last night, I found myself doing 1 pray before knocking out to sleep, and spoke to Him in Sujood speaking to Him with all my pains and worries, not just my job, but everything else thats happened, and happening.
I dont know what to do, I love this job, I struggled with every other job, and I had like 44 jobs this being my 45th one, and I confidently can say, this job is the best job I ever had so far, nothing is wrong with it, nothing haram, no bad, no evil, I cannot say exactly where but its a place where kids love going to buy and play, so its nothing bad, the only bad is my action, so what do I do? I do need advice.
Thank you for your time