*Trigger warning* this Cornell horror show is bringing up a lot
First things first- I created this acct specifically for this post/discussion, I don’t want people in my actual life finding out about these deeply buried truths.
A week after I turned 14 I was SA’d by multiple older guys at a party. I won’t include details here- but the abbreviated version is- I am female, and my friend and I were invited to a party that ended up being all older guys. I’d never drank before and had no idea what my limits were, what it would feel like to drink etc. Honestly idk how I didn’t die that night, but as horrible as it was- that was nothing compared to what I’d face at school.
The aftermath at school on Monday was absolutely brutal. I didn’t have parents I could turn to, and school started labeling me a behavior problem. I started to spend more time in the principals office and in-school suspension room. A predatory teacher took advantage, offering support, seeing how abusive my peers were. It changed the entire trajectory of my school career.
I was a freshman, the boys were upper classmen and most had girlfriends. Once those girls caught wind of the story they immediately started targeting me. I couldn’t go to the bathroom without getting verbally assaulted, pushed against walls, reading graffiti about me on the walls. Anyone who had been a friend kept their distance because they didn’t want to be involved. I spent my entire freshman year and most of sophomore year fighting for my life. I lived on edge, ready to defend myself around every corner.
I am now in my 50’s and while I’ve never forgotten any of this, I’ve worked hard to set it aside. The current news is dredging it up and idk what to do with it. I have a good life, I have never felt the need to work through every detail of that night. I know some of those guys who assaulted me have daughters and I do wonder if they even understand the damage they did to that little girl. I grew up faster and got tougher than anyone should.
Again- I have a good life, I love my life and wouldn’t change much, but I am truly heartbroken for the kid who survived this.
I guess I just needed to put it somewhere and landed here. I don’t know what I hoped to accomplish, but it felt pent up, needing to be vented so thank you if you’ve read this far.