When poor people get judged for small treats
bought myself a coffee after the worst week ive had in a while and someone made a comment and i can't stop thinking about it. i track everything. i know exactly what i have and what i dont. im not reckless i'm not stupid i know my finances better than most people know theirs because i have to. last week was a lot. nothing huge just everything hitting at once and by friday i was so empty i couldn't even explain it and i decided to stop and get a coffee on the way home. a real one. not the instant stuff. just one coffee because i survived the week and i wanted one thing that felt nice.
and someone saw me with it. and said something. it wasn't even mean exactly. it was that tone. that specific careful tone people use when they want to say something judgmental but want to feel like a good person while they say it. something about how they thought i was trying to save money. said with a little smile.
and i just said yeah and changed the subject because what else do you do.
but ive been thinking about it for days now and i can't shake it. because that was accounted for. i knew i had it. i chose it on purpose. and somehow im standing there feeling like i got caught.
people with money treat themselves all the time and nobody says a word. but the second you're struggling you're supposed to be visibly miserable all the time or people act like you're not taking it seriously enough.
it was one coffee. i just wanted one coffee.