Pre-Op Exam Accommodations?
I'm hoping to one day get a hysterectomy, vaginectomy, and meta. I understand that especially for meta, that probably means some type of pre-op exam. I'm not opposed to it in theory, and understand why it's important, but I'm afraid it may end up being a barrier to surgery.
I've had one gyno exam in my life about 6 months ago at age 23. It was planned to be external only, but had to be cut short to less than 5 seconds because I was shaking uncontrollably and kept muttering "no". I think my heart rate was like 140bpm. I then kept shaking on and off into the next day, and STILL feel freaked out by the exam. This was without pre-op anxiety meds, so with them, and knowing it would result in the chance to no longer have bottom dysphoria, I may be able to push through an external exam. Now, they may need to get someone to hold my legs open if I'm shaking uncontrollably, and they might have to ignore some crying, but I could push through.
I have more concerns about an internal exam. I genuinely don't know if that is even possible. I can manipulate my external anatomy with great anxiety. I have literally NEVER been able to do anything internal, and just the thought tends to trigger an extreme reaction. Take this with a grain of salt, but I ran an experiment where I took my blood pressure with a home arm monitor over a few normal days, low-normal, and after one of my anxiety sessions just thinking about potential internal things and suddenly I had stage 2 hypertension!!!!!!
I've heard of alternatives to paps before hystos like doing the self swab, and even that would be impossible. Having someone actually do it to me would be easier, because then they could hold me down and continue doing it even if I started screaming. I can't force myself to do that.
I'm willing to work with a surgery team, but I also need to be realistic about my limits.
Do I have too much bottom dysphoria to get bottom surgery?