u/Sweaty-Career-488

I’m on a roll on Reddit apparently (newly discovered 😁).
So my son with DS is 10 months old. Since reflecting on my latest two posts I realized I am pretty burned out. I was thinking, the Down syndrome community is pretty amazing so here’s my question:
I would love to have a break and spend some time with my baby and just BE and just LIVE without any expectations without any therapies. Now I got to thinking - where could I do this? Since I love love NY and have been there many times (also stayed as an Au Pair 10 years ago) I was thinking maybe there. Since I’m on maternity leave I have a lot of time on my hands and at the same time very little money lol. So the question is: do you know any families with DS in the city who would be willing to house us? Or are not in the city for a while and would lend us their apartment? Of course not for free and of course I would be willing to take care of pets or anything needed.. we are available from September on and it world really be a dream!! Also just putting it out there: we live in Germany near Frankfurt, if anyone would want to do this here I’d love to help.

Hello. I think this will be controversial but hear me out.. I have another post up right now about my 10 months old baby who is so whiny and complaining a lot, that I’m worried he might have autism since most parents of DS Babys/ children talk about them bringing so much joy..
I don’t know if there is something wrong with us as parents but we mostly see the hardship rather than joy. We love our boy, that is out of question! But… where is that intense joy ?
Our days are filled with hard work, for him as well as for us. We have physical and speech therapy but of course at home we do a lot too.
He does not have any extra medical issues as of right now. but still everything in my mind is about how I can promote better this, better that. I do compare a lot and I know I shouldn’t but all I see are the endless giggles of most baby’s without DS by like 5 months. The belly crawling, the sitting.. all before 6 months. All those things that make life easier for the baby (less frustration) but also for the parents! All I see is what we can’t do yet and that is of course my own problem but I can’t get out of my head :( I see :
- he doesn’t sit yet, I can’t even go food shopping comfortably with him cause I can’t put him in the cart
- doesn’t belly crawl/ crawl yet : he gets frustrated in tummy time because he wants to explore but can’t! That frustration turns into crying which of course frustrates me too because I wish I could have 10 minutes where he can just occupy himself with something..
-doesn’t have frequent deep belly laughs because it takes him more effort (muscle tone): he smiles more now but we still have to work for it and I wish I could get more ease and lightness into our days.
- doesn’t eat yet : we are still in the trying out solids phase and he hasn’t replaced a milk meal yet. This means constant breastfeeding and with that less freedom for me. I can’t leave him for more than 90mims/ 2 hours MAX. I see baby’s who eat at least one or two meals a day by now and mums who slowly get a little bit of life back…
- the breastfeeding: I do enjoy it too and don’t wanna stop but I also feel a lot of pressure that I SHOULDNT stop because it trains his jaw muscles etc and gives him antibodies which he can really use

.. I guess I just feel defeated and exhausted and lonely in these thoughts and of course shameful because everyone else is talking about the immense joy they feel for their kids and I’m out here thinking about how much „easier“ it could (potentially) be without Down syndrome.

Hey guys. We knew before birth that our son would have Down syndrome. He does not have any extra medical issues. So far his development is not bad (milestones like rolling, babbling etc) but here are some points that make me worry since every other parent we know with a child with Down syndrome can NOT relate. Btw we live in Germany. So here are the things that feel different, since no one else shares the experience :
- our baby is not a happy „sunshine“ baby ( I know that that is a cliché but why are we the only ones around us with a „not always happy“ child?). He complains a lot and is almost always whining. We always hear„our son/ daughter is so calm, such an easy baby“. I thought maybe it’s frustration because he wants more than he can do right now.. but idk.
-he sleeps very badly since the beginning. All our friends tell us „no no he’s such a good sleeper!“ and we deal with really bad nights and during the day he only sleeps when on the breast (I’m breastfeeding) or in the pram. We can’t even stop the pram, he needs the constant movement.
-he wants to be held a lot.
- he is very loud and vocal. I mean I love his babbling that started shortly before 9 months but mostly he’s doing these „ehhhhhhhhhhhh“ long sounds. Or he screeches. And there isn’t really a minute where he is just silent.
- we kinda have to work hard for him to really laugh. He will smile at us quite frequently but for real giggles we really have to put in work.
- he isn’t very social with other baby’s or his own reflection in the mirror, he doesn’t seem to care about that
- he is generally not very interested in anyone else but his parents for interaction. With us, he behaves differently than with others. I know that’s normal but he gets very quiet with others and sort of just „waiting“ to get back to us.. I hear that usually DS Babys are very interested in human interaction.
- he still isn’t eating even though he has enough strength and coordination for it. Brings everything to his mouth and explores it but doesn’t eat. We do a mix of blw and purées. He’ll eat a little bit of strawberry or a little bit of sweet potato but all I’m hearing around me is „oh he/ she is already a good eater“.

I KNOW that every baby is an individual. But these things feel a little off to me, what do you guys think ?

Apart from the things I worry about our son is very curious, he watches everything intently and he has a strong will. He is eager to learn new things, he’s trying very hard to move forward and is frustrated that his body doesn’t allow him that yet. His muscle tone is also not that bad according to doctors. Medically he seems to have sleep apnea but we’re in the process of finding that out. Maybe he’s just overtired from bad sleep and that’s why he’s complaining so much I don’t know. But I would still like to have feedback if you’re willing to share. I would be very thankful!
(This is our first child and we are naturally anxious people unfortunately).