How pathetic is it to still be learning at 30 years old?
I spent my 20s working shitty marketing jobs for sketchy vape/smokeshop warehouses. I wanted a job that was less soul sucking so I decided I wanted a creative career. i always liked video editing so I decided motion design was my path. I took 2-3 design bootcamps including one full year at Shillington School of Design because I can’t afford to go back to college.
I managed to find a decent job paying 65k a year (it’s just a straight 5k a month for daily videos/posting/analytics) and I basically manage the social media and make social media edits for a few influencers I’m friends with online in a niche journalism space. It’s nice cause I work from home but I’m broke and none of it feels impactful or important. I feel like anyone can do this basically, it’s not that demanding even though I try to challenge myself creatively.
Now I’m doing School of Motion, I paid for a year but progress is slow. I have to keep up an apartment on my own, keep up with a girlfriend, keep up with my dogs, keep up with my health and fitness, while trying to manage this at the same time.
I am having trouble reconciling with the fact that I wasted my 20s and my life from here on out will always be far behind everyone else. I’m competing with college grads who studied design their entire life and I’m 3 years in and still honing in design principles in a professional way. No matter what I do I will always be behind because they wasted less time than me.
Frankly I feel pathetic and like an adult child for still learning at 30 years old. No one is going to look at me and be impressed with my resume in any way whatsoever. i know a lot of people will try to be warm and say I still have plenty of time and that comparison is the theif of joy, but the cold hard world of corporate does not give a shit about any of that. it’s either be in the top 30% or be left behind. This is the brutal reality I’m facing and I need someone to be real with me for a bit about this. Why am I pursuing this if I’m just going to be broke and not be good? I should give up and become a plumber or something instead because at least you don’t have to be talented for that