u/TheNiteOwl38

Call it ignorance. Call it a lack of common sense. Hell, call it plain old stupidity, but here we are with another round of stories about guests not acting with their full faculties.

So a guy calls just before midnight. He's upset because we charged him just under $650 earlier in the week, and he wants to know why since he claims he never stayed with us. I look up his name and discover that he was correct, he didn't stay with us. Unfortunately, because he didn't stay with us, he had not one, not two, but three no show charges. Two on one night, and the third the following night. I explain this to him and he says that he was supposed to cancel those reservations but just forgot. Then he says, "So yeah, you just give me back my money, cancel the reservations, and we're square, right?" I told him that unfortunately I was unable to do that as it was stated on the confirmation that he received after booking that failure to cancel within the appropriate time frame or just simply not showing up meant that he'd be charged the no show fee. Then he actually asked, "Wait a minute... you guys were serious about that?"

Yes sir. Yes we were.

Another guest called me in the morning to ask if our shuttle was already running and before I can answer, she's already demanding that I schedule our shuttle to take her to the airport. I had to burst her bubble and inform her that the hotel had no shuttle. She then starts berating me, saying that I don't know what I'm talking about and that she stays with us because of the convenience of having the shuttle to get to and from the airport. Either she's lying or completely delusional. Giving her the benefit of doubt that she's delusional, I tell her she may have us confused with another hotel. She screams that she stayed with us last month and used our shuttle. I inform her that I've been with the hotel since we opened and we've NEVER had a shuttle. She slammed the phone down.

I looked up her profile and saw that this was her first ever stay with us. I guess she was trying some kind of scam, but I don't want to think too hard about what kind. I don't want to dumb myself down that much.

Finally, I had a guy come to the desk who was upset. He said that his key wasn't working on the parking gate (I had to buzz him in after confirming he was a guest) and now it wasn't working on his room. He wanted to know how this happened. Why he didn't come to me before going upstairs was the question going through my head, but I can't control the common sense of my guests. Before anyone wonders how he got passed the front doors if his key wasn't working, he's part of a group block and they all came back together from going wherever they went after their convention, so I'm assuming one of the other group members opened the door for all of them.

Anyway, I apologized and told him I didn't know. Since we switched key cards from swipe cards to RFID cards years ago, we haven't had this problem really happen anymore. So I ask for his name and room number as well as his ID to make sure it wasn't just him going to the wrong room (it happens), which he wasn't. So I offer to make a new key, but also ask to see his current key, thinking it's just defective or something. When he hands it to me I immediately see the problem. He's using a key from a different hotel. When I point that out to him he asks if I'm sure and I tell him that I'm completely sure because we're not a Schmilton property. He justifiably looks embarrassed. I make him a new key, and send him on his way, assuring him he's not the first person this has happened to.

So I walked into my shift last night and the lady working PM shift tells me that all my arrivals were in, including the train crew, up until just before I walked in. Someone booked last minute, and it's a third party. I mentally curse the existence of this guest and the third party. After I get the PM shift out of there, I start getting the arrival ready. I get the virtual card for the deposit charged, set up the routing for the incidentals, and assign the room number. Right as I finish printing the reg card I hear the button from the front door go off. It's the arrival.

I'm thinking great, I can check this woman in and still get to run the audit a little earlier than normal. It didn't go that smoothly.

When I begin the check-in process it starts fine. I give her the reg card to fill out while I get her ID and debit card. That's where the problems start... first, the credit card isn't hers. When I tell her I can't take the card for the stated reason, she gets annoyed but understands. She tells me it's her husband's card but he's in the car with the kids. I notice she's finished the reg card AND actually added the husband's name as an accompanying. I tell her that's no problem, since she did those two things, if she wants she can send him in with his ID and I can finish the check in with him. That's when she springs problem number two. Her husband, who apparently is the one driving, doesn't have his license. And then problem number three... she has no physical card of her own.

Hotel policy states that for a prepaid reservation the guest needs to provide a valid physical card that matches the ID for incidentals (as well as in case there's damage to the room) or they can't be checked in. She can't do that obviously, so she asks if I can cancel the reservation. Normally I'd say I can't since it's prepaid, but she did just make it. So I call my OM for permission. What can I say, I was feeling merciful -- and I wanted zero arrivals. My OM gives me permission, and I tell the guest that I'll cancel the reservation and refund the third party's card. She'll just have to call the site and let them know so she can be refunded by them. She accepts the cancelation number, but now we have problem number four...

She wants a receipt showing that her husband's card (which was the one that they paid the site with) was refunded.

I tell her I can't do that because it's not her card I'm refunding, it's the third party site's card. She then says once again that her husband's card was the one the used on the site. I quickly explain how prepaid reservations work, but she either doesn't get it, or doesn't care, because now she's yelling and cursing that she wants proof that she's being refunded. I repeat that I can't do that and since she's chosen to start cursing and yelling I tell her that she can actually just leave. She accuses me of trying to steal her money and that she gonna call the third party. So, she thinks her money is being stolen, but she's not gonna call the cops, but the third party site instead. That tells me she knows I'm not stealing anything. I tell her to go ahead and call the site, but that she's gonna have to do it from her car.

Finally, she leaves. And, after a quick call from the third party to confirm I've canceled the reservation and refunded them so that they can refund her, I'm back to zero arrivals. Not exactly how I wanted to get there but an empty arrival list is a great way to start the last day of my work week.

I think I've mentioned before how we stop selling alcohol in the hotel store at midnight. That does seem to aggravate some guests... mostly the alcoholics. Well, I had this couple walk into the hotel, and before heading up to their room they decided to come into the hotel's store. But while the husband's grabbing some water out of the refrigerator, she walks right up the window separating the desk from the store and demands a bottle of wine. It's at this point that I can tell from her slurred speech and the smell of her breath that she's probably had far too much wine already this evening. I inform her that unfortunately, I'm unable to sell her wine because it's past hours (it's around 12:45 am). She says that doesn't matter because she's a super shiny member. I inform her that doesn't change things. She screams that she wants a bottle of wine. At this point, her husband walks up and tries to calm her down, telling her she had enough at dinner and that she doesn't need any more. That's when she points to one of the shelves and says in an tone that's a mix between desperation and like she's about to start crying, "But it's right there!"

Now I'm confused, because we don't keep the wine bottles out on the shelves. We don't keep the wine bottles out where guests can even see them. Unlike the beer, which is kept in the refrigerator all day and night because it needs to be kept cold, keeping the wine out is too much of a risk for theft. Sure, we understand that a bottle of beer or two might get taken when we're not looking or when the desk is unattended because we're at the restroom or something, but one beer is $6, it's a risk we're willing to take. A bottle of wine is $22, those getting stolen will add up fast.

By the way, don't come at me for those prices, I didn't decide them, the management company did. Anyway...

I lean over just enough to see where she's pointing and what she's pointing at. It's not a wine bottle, it's a bottle of -- actually, let's not spoil the surprise yet. I quickly tell her that's not wine, it says so on the bottle. She slurs that I'm a liar. And I assure her that I'm not lying. Her husband intercedes and just asks to pay for the waters, walking around to the desk to pay. While I'm ringing him up and charging his card, I obviously take my eyes off the wife, so I don't see her go back into the store and grab the bottle she saw a minute ago. All I see is her running out of the store. Her husband yells after her but she's halfway to the elevator. He looks embarrassed and starts apologizing, offering to pay for the "wine". I tell him it's no problem, but he might want to get to her before she opens that bottle and starts drinking because like I told her earlier, that's not a bottle of wine, it's a bottle of olive oil. His eyes widen and he takes off.

You see, our sales director thought the store looked too plain, too much like, well, a store. So she went and got some cheap looking things to dress it up. Small, fun looking statues and knickknacks, one of them being that decorative bottle of olive oil. And yes, the bottle clearly states right on it, in cute little quasi-cursive letters, "OLIVE OIL".

I look at the security camera by the elevator and realize he's too late. She's already opened the bottle, and started chugging. He makes it to her just in time to see her start coughing and spitting it back out. From the desk I can hear her screech, "What the fuck!?!" I can't hear what he says, but I hear scream that she thought the bottle was wine and she needs more. I see him grip the bridge of his nose and shake his head, telling me that this probably isn't the first time she's done something this embarrassing when already drunk. He brings the olive oil back and offers to clean the mess, but I tell him I'll take care of it. Something tells me he's needed more with her than down here.

I emailed the managers what happened, making sure to cc the sales director, and request that the bottle of olive oil be removed from the store, for... safety reasons I guess.

Just a quick story that's only somewhat awkward.

So last Saturday night the phone at the desk that tells me someone's at the parking gate goes off. I answer, already annoyed because I'm thinking it's probably someone from the club wanting to park. But to my surprise, it's actually a guest saying his key isn't working, and after confirming that his room information is correct, I buzz him in. Then he comes in and I check his ID and he goes upstairs. And like two minutes later, he's back in front of me saying his key isn't working. I make him another key and another couple of minutes later he's back.

I look at his reservation and notice the company name listed, and realize that he's part of a group that has their people doubled up, so thinking that maybe his roommate is there and has the deadbolt on. So, I confirm that he's got a roommate. He says yes. I ask if the roommate is in the room, and he says he went out earlier and is supposed to be staying with this girl he met. So then I ask what color is flashing when uses the key. He says there's no light at all. Now I'm thinking that that's just my luck, another lock with dead batteries. So I tell him I'm gonna go up with him to check on the lock. When I get there I try his key. Nothing. Then I try my master key. Nothing. I start telling him that I need to replace the batteries when all of a sudden... the door fucking opens.

The roommate's in the room, and he looks like he just been caught. He looks at the first guest and stutters, "Give me five minutes," while shutting the door. I look at the guest and he's got this look on his face like this has happened before. I ask if he's good, and he nods, and then sits on the floor next to the door to wait. Not wanting this to get anymore awkward, I go back to the desk.

Apparently the guest's roommate has never considered the idea of giving a heads up that he's actually come back to the room with his girl and might need him to stay away for a little bit until he's finished.

Quick side note, I did leave a note for maintenence to check the lock. They'll determine if it was the batteries or if the roommate screwed with the lock somehow.

Another week, another concert. This happened over the weekend, but I've finally gotten around to posting this. In this situation however, the action started before I even got out of my car. I've mentioned how on concert nights I have to show up early or else I'm not getting in on time time. Usually I get to the hotel by 9:30 or 10, and just sit in the lobby until it's time for me to clock in. This time it was 9:30, and before I head inside I'm checking a few messages on my phone in the parking lot. As I'm doing that, out of nowhere I hear shouting. I look up and see this crazy woman walking through the parking lot, screaming and cursing at the top of her lungs. I don't think anything of it at first since I'm assuming she's from one of the bars or something, or maybe someone who hit got kicked out of the concert, and that eventually the guard will get rid of her.

A little over ten minutes later I'm finally walking up to the building and I see the guard and that same crazy lady, who I can now see is barefoot. To save time I shall refer to this crazy lady as CL. He's blocking her from trying to get near the doors. The doors are locked so I'm not worried about her actually getting in, but it's clear that she's making an effort. The guard sees me and says that the PM shift asked that CL be removed from the building. I ask why and he says that it was something about her not being a guest. That when CL turns to me and starts screaming that I better let her in. While this is happening I see the maintenance guy standing near the doors (inside the building obviously). He points at the doors and mouths a message indicating that he's shut the doors off. The guard then gets her attention to repeat that she needs to leave. In that moment I point him towards the side doors so the maintenance guy can let me in.

Once inside I find out what's been going on. According to PM shift, CL walked up to the desk and started asking for a key to a room. The PM shift started to try verifying who she was, but before she could even ask for a name let alone an ID, the woman started cursing at her and demanding that she just give her a key. Not wanting to be talked to or treated that way, the PM girl told her she wasn't giving her a key due to her behavior and asked her to leave. CL apparently walked out, but once the doors closed behind her she then tried banging on them, giving the indication that she wanted to break the door, so the guard was called over.

I asked if there was a chance she might be a guest (not that it matters at this point because she's lost all chance of being let it) since she asked for a key. The PM shift says she gave a room number that is checked in, but she's not listed as an accompanying in the system, and the reg card is missing so we can't check if the guest who is checked into that room listed her on the reg card. She then asks what else she should do since she's already called the guard. I tell her call the police. This woman is clearly unhinged, she's at the very least drunk (I could smell it when she tried screaming at me), and might possibly be on some kind of drugs. While she's calling the police the nightly train crew walks up to check in. The guard escorts them in through the side doors and for his safety I tell him to stay in the hotel. At this point CL starts banging on the doors again, tries pulling them apart, and when neither of those things works... she lays down in front of them and gets quiet. This is where I actually got a little afraid because my thought is she hoping we'll come check on her and she'll attack.

The police responded quickly though, and when they got there, they cuffed her pretty much immediately. One of the officers was actually entertaining the idea of releasing her to the custody of the guest who's room she tried to get a key for since it matched the name of the person she said she was in town with for the concert. I was thinking are your fucking kidding me, you actually want to let that crazy bitch go? But luckily, a more senior officer overruled her and said they were arresting her for public intoxication, because she clearly was intoxicated... and in public.

At the direction of the GM, who was notified of all this, I tried looking for the reg card of the guest CL said she was with, but I couldn't find it anywhere. Eventually the GM checked the camera and saw during his check in earlier that day, in the commotion of how busy it was he walked off with the reg card. Lucky for us, he had forgotten to list CL on it so at least we can say there was no chance we should have known she was an accompanying guest. We found that out because the guest came down the next morning wondering if we had seen his girlfriend. When we told him what happened he was apologetic and told us that this has actually happened before... several times.

Last Saturday night was an ordeal, at least the first half of my shift was. First, maybe fifteen minutes after I clocked in, a husband and wife came up to the desk saying their keys weren't working on their room. No big problem there, I just checked their IDs and made new ones. A few minutes later they came back down saying the keys still weren't working. I asked if anyone else was in the room thinking maybe there was and they had the deadbolt on. They said no. When I asked if the lock was flashing a green or red light, they told me that the lock wasn't even lighting up. Great, that means it's the batteries.

I went up and tested it myself and confirmed it -- dead batteries. So I went to the maintenance office to get the screwdriver to take off the lock and saw that the bit I need to go along with it was missing... in fact ALL the screwdriver bits were missing. So I woke up the head maintenance engineer and he tells me that our new OM borrowed them earlier and probably put the screwdriver back, but didn't put the bits back. Luckily, I have access to her desk and sure enough, there they are. However, in the five minutes it's taken me to find these bits, the guests, the wife mainly, has grown impatient. She starts ranting that I'm keeping her from getting into her room. And here I was thinking it was the dead batteries in the lock doing that while I was trying to get her back in her room.

After her rant, she grabs three waters out of our store and tells me that I'm not charging her for those. She's lucky it wasn't later in my shift and that I was way more aggravated, because then I would've told she was either paying for the waters, or they were going to be her only compensation for this inconvenience. But anyway, I decided this wasn't the hill to die on at this moment. I just went upstairs and managed to replaced the batteries and get Karen and her husband (who was surprisingly laid back during all of this) back into their room. Naturally she said that she'll want to speak to manager in the morning. Fine by me as long as she leaves me alone.

After that, I had several guests that ended up upset because they ordered from restaurants whose flyers they found on the floor of their rooms. Most of them had apparently been waiting for an hour to an hour and a half. I hated to do it, but I had to break it to them that their food probably wasn't coming and the should call their banks to cancel the charge. One guy laughed because he said he told them he'd be paying cash so it didn't cost him a damn thing. Good for him. Thankfully, none of those guests were specifically blaming us, but I still thought it best to notate it in case it comes up in the morning. I also suggested that they train the new girl who's working the PM shift to better spot someone who might be sneaking in to leave flyers.

And finally, a guest called down asking for a plunger. No problem. It's died down enough that I have time to run one up to him. And since I was going to take it upstairs immediately, I didn't even think to write the room number down. Rookie mistake that I'm about to pay for. As I was about to leave the desk, another guest came up and began asking me questions about his food that hasn't arrived. He was one of the last people from the previous paragraph. By the time he left, I had forgotten the room number. And the guest never called back to ask, "Hey, where's my plunger?" I had to leave another note for the next shift saying that obviously, there might be a guest telling us that he requested a plunger than never came. Imagine my surprise when I found out that didn't happen.

Thankfully, the last half of my shift was much quieter.

There was a concert over the weekend. I hate when there's concerts in the stadium next door. They're always headaches for me. This headache started before I even got to the to the hotel. My shift starts at 11 pm, but when there's a concert I have to get to hotel no later than ten, otherwise I'm not getting in until maybe 12:30 because of the cops blocking all traffic going into the area. Obviously they're only letting traffic flow outward and away from the area. So, I managed to get there by like 9:30, but when I was trying to park, I found the street backed up because there's a car at the parking gate, with the driver standing next to her car arguing with my security guard. Apparently the driver felt that she should be allowed to park in our lot for free instead paying for parking at the stadium. Thankfully, the guard was able to get her to drive away, though he did it by threatening to call the cops, which I'll remind you the area was flooded with.

Once inside the hotel, the noise and ruckus kicked in. Person after person coming in asking if they could sit in the lobby while they wait for their Uber, and then not understanding that they aren't allowed to do that because the lobby is for guests only. Besides, their Ubers weren't picking them up anyway because once again, the cops are blocking traffic in.

And speaking of the cops, out of nowhere, one comes inside, followed by three people, a man and a woman who are holding up the third person, another woman who looks like she needs an ambulance... because apparently she does. The cop walks up and says that there was a fight outside and they had to use pepper spray to break it up. He's decided to bring the ambulance needing woman into the hotel and says that he's going to leave her in the hotel until she feels better and can leave on her own.

Let me tell you about this woman. She can barely hold herself up, let alone walk, that's why the cop probably has that couple (I'm assuming) helping her into the building. On top of that, her eyes are bloodshot and watering, she's coughing nonstop, and she can't talk -- her speech is all slurred -- and her face is swelling. She belongs in an ER, not a hotel lobby.

I tell the officer that he can't leave her in here because she looks like she needs medical attention. He says that she's fine and just needs to catch her breath. I once again refuse because I am not letting the hotel become responsible for her. We, and more importantly, I, don't need that kind of liability. He needs to take her back outside and call an ambulance or something and stop trying to make his possible mistake the hotel's responsibility. He looked like he wanted to shoot me. But then he noticed that like two people in the lobby were recording this, so he took the woman back outside. Like five minutes later, I see flashing red and blue lights on the street. I guess he called them in after all.

I popped some Tylenol for my headache and one again reminded myself why I hate concert weekends.

So, a couple of days ago, this woman walked up to the desk saying that she absolutely needed to move rooms. I asked for her room number and the reason why. She said that she and her husband were talking and she found out that his friends know what room they're staying in. I looked up the room number and I recognize the name. I also see that the reservation has been in house for almost a month with another two months to go on it, and it's actually in the husband's name with her listed as an accompanying guest. Now I'm confused. You see, the husband is part of a small company group of about seven or eight rooms. And I'm pretty sure that after a month, there's probably a pretty high chance, and even an expectation, that they'd all know each other's room numbers by now.

So naturally I ask what the issue with that is, you know, does she feel unsafe or something. She tells me no, what's actually wrong is that she came in earlier today to visit him for a few days and she wants to have privacy with him when she's here. And I understand that, I also understand that I need to ask her one question: does her husband know that she's asking that I move his reservation, that his company is paying for, to a different room. After all, it's not like there's something broken that would necessitate a room move. This is a personal preference from someone other than the registered guest. She said he does, but doesn't see the problem and thinks where they're at is fine.

I tell her that unfortunately I have to agree with her husband since it's his room. She doesn't like that. She says that it isn't fair that his friends know what room he's in while she's visiting because she wants to be alone with him. I tell her that's something she needs to discuss with her husband so some kind of arrangement can be made. Then she tried this. She said that hotels are supposed to move their guests to different rooms if they compromise that guest's privacy by letting others know their room number. So we HAVE to move her. I'll give her credit, that's creative. Completely wrong in this situation, but creative.

I inform her that doesn't apply here because that hotel didn't tell her husband's friends what room number they have -- HE did. And guests are perfectly allowed to tell anyone they want what room number they're in. Now, if they ever feel unsafe, yes, we'll move the room, but she already admitted that she doesn't feel unsafe. She got angry and stormed off. I actually feel sorry for the husband now.

Last night I was training the new Front Office Supervisor on how to do the audit shift. We were done with the prep stuff and just waiting for 2 a.m. when the phone rang. I picked up and it was someone calling to say that the room next to him was being loud. However, there was a bit of a red flag for me... he was calling from his cell phone, not the room phone. When I asked for his room number he said that he was calling from room 0513 and hung up. I typed the room number into the system and discovered that no one is checked into 0513. I told the FOS what happened, and while she did agree with me that it sounded kind of weird, she did go up to check if she could hear anything from the hallway just to be safe. When she came back she said the hallway was quiet.

We just went back to work.

Maybe fifteen minutes later, the same guy called back and tried saying that the room next to him was still being noisy. Once again, he's calling from his cell phone. I asked him to confirm the room number and his name, and he got upset, talking about how was he supposed to know the names of the people next door. So I clarified that I wasn't asking for the names of the people next door, I was asking for his name. His response was, "Uh... um... shit!"

He then hung up. I'm not gonna lie, I actually found the situation kind of funny since it's been a while since someone had tried crank calling the hotel. If anything, all it did was help me fight off some drowsiness.

I got a call from the reservation department last night. And I was reminded why I hate the reservation department. The agent starts the call off kind of rocky, stuttering a little bit before finally saying that she's calling on behalf of a mutual guest. I get her to pause real quick to ask her which third party she's calling from and that's when she tells me she's not from a third party, but actually from BHG reservations. Usually they start with that, but I'll overlook this because I feel like making an effort to NOT get annoyed with them again. I don't need them once again emailing my GM that I got "overly assertive" (aka I got annoyed and told them they don't know how to do their jobs). Then she asks if we have a shuttle that goes from the hotel to the train station.

A quick fyi, the train station is a two minute walk from the hotel. And I literally mean two minutes, it's just down the block on the same large property the hotel sits on.

Despite that I do have to inform her that sadly, the hotel does not have a shuttle of any kind. So far so good... or so I thought. Because then, this reservation agent had to keep going. The next thing she asks is if an Uber will take the guest from the train station to the hotel and back since the distance is so close, or will they refuse the ride (that tells me she took the time to actually look up our location). I tell her I don't know because I can't speak for an outside company, and that honestly, that's something the guest would need to discuss with the Uber driver themselves.

I felt that was a good answer. She didn't. She repeated the fucking question. I repeated the answer. We did that circle three more times because she tried asking the same question three different ways thinking the answer would magically change. Finally, I got annoyed and told her that I've answered her the same way multiple times and no matter what she does, she's just wasting her time, my time, and, most importantly, the guest's time since she probably put them on hold to call me. I then told her one last time, slowly and much louder hoping that would drive the point home, that I can't speak for another business's policies. If she really wants to find out, I'm sure Uber has a number she can call to bother and aggravate them with her question. Finally she understood and the call ended.

About an hour ago my phone gave off a notification alert. It was my GM asking why I felt the need to cause him to get another email from the reservation department. I hate the reservation department, they're full of snitches.

We all know that not all hotel guests are the smartest people on Earth. But that's to varying degrees. Some are smart, but they lack common sense. Others are so damn unintelligent that I wonder how they've made it all the way to adulthood. The past few days I've dealt with people who have said things that I can't believe what I heard from them.

I had a reservation on my arrival list that didn't show up, so I applied the no show fee and charged the card. This was at like 6:15 am. Well, thirty minutes later, the phone rings and lo and behold, it's my no show. She was calling to say that she had a reservation for the day before, but isn't going to be arriving and she'd like to cancel the reservation. I informed her that unfortunately since the reservation was for yesterday, that she can't cancel it and was actually charged a no show fee for the first night. The next thing she says: "So I'm only allowed to cancel my reservation BEFORE I show up, not after? And I'm obligated to pay for not showing up?"

Short answer... yes.

On another day a guest came in just before audit saying he needed to check in. There was just one problem, he didn't have a reservation. The reason he didn't have a reservation was because I had canceled his reservation. You see when I'm getting ready for the audit I double check that any arrivals still not checked in have valid credit cards. If they authorize for one night's room and tax, they get become no shows. If they don't authorize, they get canceled, like this one did. He asked why I canceled it and I told him why. He then looks at me with confusion while saying, "Let me get this straight, if my credit card declines you're allowed to cancel my reservation just because I can't pay?"

Once again, short answer... yes.

A third guy came one morning around 6:30 a.m., completely frantic saying his car was stolen. I'm thinking, oh God, not this. So, I started asking questions. When I asked where in the parking lot he was located he says, "I wasn't in the lot. I parked on the street." Now I'm confused. He then tells me that the only available spots in the main parking lot were near the end of the lot and he didn't want to walk that distance, so he parked on the street close to the loading and unloading lot.

I told him that the street is not approved hotel parking. I also asked if he noticed the sign that was there. He said he noticed the sign, but didn't read it -- he was too tired. And there's why his car is gone. I had to be the bearer of bad news and tell him that his car wasn't stolen, it was towed by the police, because if he had read the sign he would have known that it read, NO PARKING. TOW AWAY ZONE.

He became incensed, asking if either the guard or myself noticed it being towed and why we didn't stop it. I told him that I did see a car being towed on one of the cameras, but I didn't know it was a guest car since, you know, it was parked on the street. However, since the car was not parked in an area controlled by the hotel, there was no reason for me to intervene, and sadly, the police aren't going to come in to tell me anything. I did tell him however, that even though we've determined that his car wasn't stolen, since it was towed by the police, he still should call them so they can tell him where they had his car taken.

After so many years in the hotel industry I'm never surprised by the level of guest ignorance and stupidity, but frequency of it is what still shocks me.

Okay, so this one is from a few days ago and it got me shaking my head. I went in for my shift. I did the shift change with the PM shift. I got the pass alongs. Then, once I was alone, I started looking at the notation system and I'm seeing pretty normal stuff -- requests for late checkouts, guests needing bed in a bags, maybe a notice or two about a room move. Nothing out of the ordinary. Then I see this one entry about some guests who were moved due to a plumbing issue.

Apparently they had to be moved because their kid shoved one of his toys down the toilet, completely clogging and overflowing it. And I don't mean just a little bit because by the time they saw fit to call us, it had apparently flowed out of the toilet, out of the bathroom, and into the bedroom area, soaking a good portion of the carpet. Maintenance went up and unclogged the toilet and -- since the family didn't want to move at first -- tried to dry out the carpet. But the parents became upset when they found out how long that might take, so they finally decided to move.

However, after they'd moved rooms, these people then had the temerity to ask for compensation for the inconvenience of having to move rooms. Well, here's where we get to the part that made me shake my head in complete disbelief. The newly promoted OM... actually compensated them. She took a hundred dollars off their stay and awarded them like 10,000 shiny member points.

I didn't believe it.

The next morning, I asked the AM shift about it and she confirmed what I read. And she was pissed about it too. These people's kid basically fucked up the toilet. Fucked up the carpet. And instead of charging them for damages and asking them to leave, the OM basically rewarded them. Seriously, what the actual fuck!?!

So, I had a guest walk into our store and grab a few items. After a quick complaint about the price of those items I ask him if he wants to pay for them by cash, card, or does he want to charge them to the room instead. He tells me to charge them to the room. So I have him sign the store slip confirming the items, tell him I'll post them to his bill, and then tell him thank you and to have a nice night. As I'm posting them in the system, he tells me that he needs his receipt. I look at him confused and ask him what he means.

He says he needs a receipt to give his company is what he tells me.

I inform him that I can't give him a receipt since he hasn't actually paid for the items yet. He then says that he just did, he charged them to him room, so he needs a receipt to show that I charged his card. Now I'm thinking, oh great, another guest who doesn't know how charging to a room works. I start explaining to him that he charged his items to his room. That means he's having his items added to his bill which he will then pay for at the end of his stay. He starts shaking his head, telling me wants his receipt.

I once again tell him that he hasn't paid for his items yet. But if wants a receipt he can pay with cash or a card right now for them and then I can give him a receipt. He accuses me of wanting to charge his card twice. I tell him I'm not charging his card twice, that I haven't even charged it once yet. He storms off saying he'll report me in the morning.

Let's fast forward to like the last half hour of my shift. The lobby is busier than normal because we have a group meeting up before leaving for work. The guest from last night walks up, along with another guy, who I recognize. The other guy then tells me that his employee is telling him that he paid for items out of our store last night and that I refused to give him a receipt. I inform the guest's boss (who is also a guest with us, and a repeat guest, he stays with us like one a month for like a week) that that isn't actually true. I inform him of what happened last night and the boss gets a look on his face.

He turns toward the guest and says, "You wanted a receipt for shit you haven't paid for yet?"

The guest tries the same excuse of he put the items on his room. The boss then asks him if he's paid for his room yet. The guest says no. The boss then explains the process to him and then tells him that to make things simple for him, he's not allowed to charge items to his room. The guest walks off and the boss looks at me and says, "Sorry, I explain to the new guys to get receipts when they pay for stuff out of pocket. I forgot that sometimes you have to have pretend that they're fucking kids who need me to explain how to wipe their ass."

Honestly, I felt his pain lol. I also added a note to the guest's reservation that he was no longer allowed to charge items to his room.

Sometimes I wonder if hotel guests just assume that those of us behind the front desk aren't that bright. When guests check in, they need to fill out a reg card (registration card for those of you not in the industry). On this card is where they verify their information is correct, and also where they check off certain areas that acknowledge certain things. Most are probably the same at most hotels. Guests are checking off that the rate is correct (if they're allowed to see it), that they've read and understand about housekeeping policies, parking, etc. Well at my hotel, we also verbally tell them these things along with asking them to fill out our initial the highlighted the parts on the reg card that need this, for easy convenience. My GM however has instructed us to not use the yellow highlighter. He wants us using green, blue, the neon pink, basically any other color because those colors pop better against the paper. I'm fine with this. I actually agree with it because too many times I've had guests act like they couldn't see the areas highlighted in yellow. Yes, I know not all of them were lying, but the number was too high to be realistic.

Any how...

The part that always amazes me is that, even with these bright ass colors basically assaulting their retinas, like 90% of guests who are filling out the reg card always "forget" to initial off the same boxes -- acknowledgement about the fact that we're a non-smoking hotel and there's a hefty fee if your do smoke, and how much we charge for parking.

When I'm double checking it before handing them their keys I'll point out that they didn't put their initials in those boxes and they all say the same thing, either, "Oh, sorry, I didn't see those, " or, "I didn't think I needed to." And I'm invariably thinking, "Don't give me that bullshit."

They're probably thinking that if they don't initial them then they don't apply to them and they can "act" like they weren't told. Then some of them will complain about the parking fee saying no one told them that we charge for parking, or that they didn't know they couldn't smoke in the room, which is even funnier when it's a guest who stays with us once a month for work. And yes, this type of guest tried that with both. After trying it two times in a row, we had sales contract her employer and inform that THAT particular employee was no longer allowed to stay with us because she was clearly ignoring hotel policies.

But what gets me the most is when I point out to guests that they didn't initial those areas and they become angry. One guy even even tried saying that the hotel has no right to charge him for parking or stop him from smoking. Thankfully he ended up not staying with us when I refused to relent, especially on the smoking. But that brings me back to my original point: do these guests view us as having so little intelligence that they think they can outsmart us on our own policies by just not checking off or putting their initials on a simple reg card?

Apparently the nightclub went and hired themselves a new promoter, and unfortunately he was unaware of my hotel's policy of not letting anyone from the club park in our loading and unloading lot. Over the weekend, the guard, just before I came in for my shift, spotted him trying to park in that lot and told him not to. And he listened... or so we thought. Because the next time the guard came in, which was about two hours later, he informed me that the new promoter's truck was back in the loading/unloading lot. He verified that he did tell him he couldn't park there. As far as I was concerned, that meant he didn't need to be told again.

I called up the OM and appraised her of the situation and she gave me the green light to call the tow company. When they asked for what kind vehicle it was, I gave them the make and model, but also told them that it was a neon green lifted pickup that had a bad wrap job of a guy's face on the sides. It took about 20 minutes, but eventually the tow truck showed up, grabbed the truck, and started to drive off. I thought that was the end of it. But as the tow truck started making it's way down the street, which just happens to be the right next to lobby windows, giving me a perfect line of sight, what do I see, but the new promoter literally running after his truck. If you want a visual, imagine someone the same size as Gabriel Iglesias running down the street. I couldn't stop laughing.

I'll give him credit though, he caught the tow truck. Though that was probably because the tow truck had to slow down for a sharp turn. The drop fee was paid because the truck was let down. But then, the promoter decided that he was owed money for his ignorance. He came in and demanded that we give him back his money that he just spent. I obviously refused, and told him to get out.

Despite how much fun that was, I have a feeling this won't be the last time I deal with the nightclub's newest moron.

Like most of the people on this subreddit, when I'm posting something, it's usually some form of ranting or venting because I've come across a guest who's the living embodiment of the saying, "You can't fix stupid." But on occasion, someone ends up posting a story about something good -- an easy shift, or the rare occurrence of dealing with an awesome guest. Today, I finally get to do that after who knows how long.

When you're a night auditor you find yourself not always being the guest's favorite desk agent. Mostly it has to do with the fact that as the auditor, your by yourself and therefore, for both the safety of the guest and, most importantly, yourself, you have to be a little more rigid with the rules sometimes. And that means maybe having to say no to something the guests might want. No sir, I cannot sell your drunk ass alcohol past cutoff time. Sorry ma'am, the pool is closed and I will not reopen it just for you and your sugar daddy. But this past weekend, I had this couple walk in. They were older, probably in their early-60s. They were dressed for a really nice night out. They came up to the desk and started talking to me, and since it was slow, I made small talk while doing my paperwork.

It turns out it was their anniversary and they were staying at my hotel because they got married here. To be specific they stayed with us for their wedding. The actual ceremony took place in the building the nightclub currently resides in before the club moved in and became the hotel's (and mine) archnemesis, but I'm digressing. They were just about to call it a night, but they wanted to have one more dance and were wondering if I could somehow play their wedding song over the PA system so they could dance in the lobby. This is where I felt kind of bad because I had to tell them that unfortunately I don't have access to the computer that handles the music. They understood, but looked upset and started to go towards the elevator. But then I remembered that when I'm doing my audit and the accompanying emails and tax stuff, I play music off my phone or the computer. So, I figured what the hell. Before they could get out of earshot I ask them what's their wedding song.

Islands in Stream.

Coincidentally, a song I have downloaded to my phone, and actually one of my favorite songs. I quickly connect it to my wireless speaker, turn down the volume of the overhead speaker, and let them dance in the lobby. I said this on one of my previous posts, and it still applies here: this is the part of my job I enjoy, I love helping people.

A few days ago I was working my shift when this guest walked up to the desk asking if we had a phone charger she could borrow since she forgot to pack hers and it was too late in the day to go buy a new one. I had to tell her that unfortunately the hotel doesn't carry chargers. She seemed shocked and asked why. I told her we used to, but the problem was that we'd always end up losing them when guests never returned them. So finally, after replacing who knows how many chargers (both iPhone and Android) the hotel just stopped carrying them. She was upset, but then asked, "What about that one?" while pointing to the back desk against the wall where there was a phone charging.

My phone to be exact.

I told her the phone was mine as was the charger and therefore I wasn't going to lend it out. She said that wasn't fair, that she should be allowed to use it. I once again informed her that the charger was mine, not the hotels. She didn't care and actually said that since I worked for the hotel, anything of mine is part of the hotel while I was on duty and I was obligated to let her use my charger. I've heard some really weird mental gymnastics from guests in order to justify being given whatever request they're asking for, but THIS one was out there, even for me. I told her that she has no rights to my personal property and she was not going to be given my charger no matter what, and she walked off in a huff.

I found out later from my FOS that she came down and complained that I refused her request for the use of my charger. Apparently she became upset when told once again that an employee's personal property is just that, their personal property and the hotel would not force us to allow a guest to use it. The rest of the desk staff and myself are taking bets on whether or not she'll try taking this up with corporate.

I had a guy walk in wanting a room. I recognized him. He last stayed with us years ago. He was a lawyer for an oil company, and they paid for him to stay with us like they did their other employees. He was with us for like a year and a half, almost two years. He was a weird guest. Not bad. He didn't demand a whole lot of the staff, and he didn't cause any massive problems beyond the occasional the normal stuff that luckily didn't make us hate him. No, he was just... weird. There was a vibe to him that gave us the impression that he was into some freaky stuff.

Anyway, it had been years since he'd been too my hotel. In fact, the last time he was with us, our previous GM was still the one in charge.

So he walked in and said he needed a room while throwing his ID and three hundred dollars down onto the desk. I say hello and welcome him back, but then inform him that unfortunately I'm going to need a credit card to check him in. He says the cash on the desk should cover the room. Realistically he's not wrong. But what I tell him is that we no longer accept cash at check in (we stopped five years ago when our new GM took over) and that he will need to put a credit card on file. He says he's not doing that and to take his cash. That right there is telling me that he's doing something, or someone, he shouldn't be doing and he doesn't want a credit card trail. Like I said, we used to think that he was into some freaky stuff.

He didn't like it when I repeated the hotel's new policy. He then reminds me about how much business he gave the hotel last time and I tell him I remember how much his COMPANY spent for him to stay with us. He looked a little annoyed at my response. He then demanded that I call the GM, whom he referred to by name, to fix this. I inform him that the GM he's just requested I call no longer works for the hotel. Instead of accepting that, he actually demanded that I call her anyway. Instead I offered to call our current GM to explain the hotel's policy since he clearly didn't want to accept my explanation of it.

He ended up leaving, angered and ranting that he can't believe name dropping the GM's name didn't get him anything. Never mind the fact that he's dropping the name of someone who doesn't work there anymore. He also just moved himself from being just an annoying guest to just another entitled prick of a guest.

Edited to fix a typo caused by my dyslexia 🤦‍♂️😂🤦‍♂️😂

At my hotel, we're having an elevator issue. Our main elevator has been out of commission for a couple of days. Now the elevator techs finally got the part that we needed to fix it... or so we thought. Turns out that they ordered a part that doesn't fit. So, while we wait for them to get the correct part, which will take until Monday, we've been having to let the guests go upstairs by means of the service elevator.

That was the background, now here's what that caused.

So last night, during shift change, while the girl working the PM shift was checking in some guests, the phone rang. I answered it, and it was guest on the sixth floor who was angry about having to use the service elevator. She said it made her feel unsafe since everyone in the building was able to use it, and she didn't know who they were. I guess she's best buddies with every single person everywhere else she stays. She also said that because she didn't know whom else was here that she chose to use the stairs to get to her room because of this. She was demanding a room on the first floor due to us forcing her to use the stairs and/or her money back.

I apologized for her the inconvenience but let her know unfortunately we did not have rooms on the first floor and that she chose to use the stairs rather than the elevator. I also told her that there was no money to refund as her as she had not paid in cash, and her reservation was not prepaid. Her card may have been swiped at check-in, but it had not been charged yet, only authorized. I did however offer to let her check out of her current reservation and leave the hotel, all without penalty. She then said if we did not refund her immediately, she would call the police as only having one working elevator was illegal. I corrected her misinformation by telling her that it was not illegal to have only one working elevator and once again offered to let her check out without penalty. This caused her to hang up. I thought I was done dealing with her and finished with shift change.

Then a few minutes later, after the PM shift had left, the desk phone starts giving off the alert that let's us know a guest has dialed 911. I'm thinking, "No she fucking didn't." But she did. I verified that the 911 alarm was coming from her room, which it was, and then silenced it. I then called the GM to let him know what's happening and to ask if I can kick her out. To my surprise, while I was on the phone with my GM, for some ungodly reason... two police units actually arrived. I was like, "What the actual fuck? They can't be having that slow a night."

The arrival of the police kind of made the decision for my GM. Once the police confirmed what reason they were actually there for, which they found stupid as well, they said that they would inform the guest that it was not illegal to have only one working elevator. That's when I informed them that I would need their help in escorting her out of the hotel since we were in fact now kicking her out. On her way out, she was screaming at me that she was still entitled to being given a cash refund even if she didn't pay cash, which the police told her she wasn't since she, once again, didn't pay in cash. She then started screaming at the police that it was illegal for them to not only side against her, but to give her a ticket for misusing the 911 system. I later found out they escorted her to the train station since was only staying at my hotel for the night until she could catch her train in the morning. I actually felt sorry for the people working at the station, and the train crew of whatever train she got on.

And before anyone reading this asks... yes, we did add her crazy ass to our DNR list.

I walked in for my shift and noticed a pizza from a mom and pop place sitting off to the side of the desk. No big deal, I think. It's not unusual to see that since my hotel doesn't allow delivery drivers to go up to the rooms. I ask the PM shift if the guest is coming down. She says she doesn't know. Huh? She tells me it doesn't have a room number and the Door Dash guy said the order has instructions to leave it at the desk, that they'll come down. I ask how long has it been sitting there and she tells me an hour and a half. I ask if she's checked the name so she could've called the room. She says no. I grab the receipt sticking out of the box and look up the name. Nothing. It doesn't match any in-house guest or any accompanying guests. I mentally groan and say not again.

You see, we've been having an issue with the occasional Door Dash deliveries to my hotel. They're not supposed to be coming to my hotel. We discovered a while back that when the guests of a Schmintercontinental that's about ten minutes away on the other side of downtown order on Door Dash, my hotel's address comes up. For whatever reason, those guests don't realize that when they're ordering, and the food ends up at my hotel.

Now on my shift, I always ask for the room number, and if they say it doesn't have one, I ask for the name. If I can't find them in my system, I ask to see the order from their screen. Most of the time I end up having to tell them that they're at the wrong hotel. They'll say but it says this address, and I'll tell them they're still at the wrong hotel and show them something with our hotel name on it. They get pissed and leave. The girl working this PM shift takes delivery drivers at their word and just accepts the food, so those guests probably end up pissed off because they'll be contacting Door Dash to say they never got their food, and Door Dash will say that the driver said it got delivered. And the Schmintercontinental gets off with no one mad at them (I assume).

Here's the messed up part about all this. The Schmintercontinental knows about this problem. When we figured out what was happening we contacted Door Dash to let them know so they could fix it. They told us that the hotel in question, the Schmintercontinental, has to contact them to request the address correction. So we called the Schmintercontinental. And the response of the manager (the GM to be specific) was that this was an issue between the guests and Door Dash, and not the hotel's issue.

It's nice to know that they don't mind wiping their hands clean of issues they know are inconveniencing their guests when all it would take is a few minutes to fix.