Just found out about this BLASPHEMOUS movie..
Well hello there fellow redditors, It has come to my attention that the studio "Illumination" is currently producing a theatrical film titled "Minions & Monsters" which uses some of Howie Lofecraft's precious creatures. Urghm. This. Is. UNACCEPTABLE. I truly cannot STAND the sheer utter BLASPHEMY as well as IGNORANCE from
these vulgar, profound writers. The horrors that must go on in the writers' room of Illumination must be more horror-filled than the depths of Azathoth's dirty, hairy ass!
For starters, this horrid excuse of a film seems to be about the little yellow ones searching for monsters to use in their movie. STRIKE ONE, Illumination! Lovecraft would never. And hear I say, NEVER. Resort to using genuine real monsters for his film. NO! Howard is a true blood through and through and would simply use Artificial Intelligence! (It is, in fact, better.) furthermore, I personally believe he would be a Grok user, but a brethren of any A.I. bot is a brethren to I.
Secondly, before we get carried away, I must point out that the main "monster" of this film is none other than Cthulhu. STRIKE TWO. This one, I am angry at for 2 prominent reasons. #1, Cthulhu is not a "monster" as they try to sell it. Cthulhu is a Great Old One. The creature of the deep! For years Cthulhu has been flanderized past the bone in many stories, he is not just a simple sea creature, no! He is a much more complex, and well writing thought-out true and true entity of our lord and savior H.P. Lovecraft!
I could go on, but I must also make my second point. #2, The movie also for some reason makes Cthulhu a child throughout the entirety of his screentime in the film. Tsk, tsk, FUCKING tsk, illumination! This is just downright DISRESPECTFUL! And to disrespect such a loving, caring author (whom would never hurt anyone, let alone a fly!) is to put it simply, to Kill a Mockingbird.
Now, I have yet to see the film but when it releases, so shall I! And Illumination, if I dare find a Third Strike upon viewing your hot garbage. Well, you already know the rules, need I relay them: YOU'RE OUT!!
Now fellow redditors, and fellow Lovecraft enjoyers; ASSEMBLE! Together we shall take down this tyranny known as Illumination, and purge their chances of ever making a sequel, no, ever making another film AGAIN!! HARK, illumination. HEED. MY. WARNING. We Lovecraft fans are restless! And we. are. coming..