u/TimmyTumbler29

So I made this little short piece of writing, wondering what I can improve on it, been writing for only a few months now seriously. It's not a huge piece of writing, only around 150 or so words but thats mainly because I just hope my writing isn't inherently horrible before I ask for some more help haha. It's mainly about an idea I came up with on a whim, just randomly and I decided to write a bit on it and I went through it and personally I think it's OK but some general feedback on my writing would help so much. Thank you :)

https://docs.google.com/document/d/1jLEZESG86PebmD6mZ9NMJB_uF0xw3xmkACY0XtZqEaA/edit?usp=sharing