Someone on Fet tried to catfish me and I discovered his skeletons instead.
I guess you could say I wasn't really "catfished" but the person I met online was not exactly who he said he was.
I was introduced to the kink world back in 2020 after my 13 year marriage ended and I started dating again. I found out about this website where you can meet other kinksters and I made I profile just for fun and to possibly meet people who had similar kinks as me. (Probably not the best way to meet people, but again I was going through a divorce)
After being on the website for a few years, I never really met anyone I liked, or could hold a conversation with. Most of the messages I got were what is to be expected from a site like this and some just straight up gross. Lol.
Back in January a guy with a pretty private profile, no face pics, or any pics from what I can remember messaged me. His location was close to me and his age showed 44 and male. He sent me a private message and introduced himself. He made some sweet comments about my pics telling me how beautiful I was, didn't say anything super perverted and gave a quick intro of how he'd like to get to know me more. Perfect. You have my attention Sir.
I took the bait and we started chatting and flirting. He sent me a picture of himself and I found him to be absolutely adorable. We decided it was easier to chat on a different platform because this site limits what you can send through private messages. We chat every day for a couple weeks and the flirting is turning more into: "Let's meet and see how we vibe in person."
I suggest we meet up. I'm really crushing on this guy. He's cute, our kinks match up, he makes me blush, I'm ready to meet this man. I try to get him to just meet for coffee but he says his job is very demanding and it's hard to get off work. I suggest after work, weekends, weeknights, anytime, anywhere. He keeps blowing me off and won't set up an official in person meeting but still messages me everyday and flirts like his intentions are the same as mine. (We need to meet. We obviously have chemistry)
This goes on for a couple months and somewhere in that time period he told me he was falling in love with me. He then started calling me his "wifey" I told him I was only looking for a playmate and did not want to get emotionally involved with anyone. He kept playing games with me until I finally had enough.
Before it got to the point of me being over the whole situation and realizing this man would never actually meet me, I did what I do with all people I'm interested in online and I look for their social media. I could not find ANYTHING about this man. The only info I had was his phone number. I do a reverse phone search and it comes back with a different name, different location and slightly different aged male. I look on socials with that name, nothing. I even tried reverse image search on some selfies he sent me and still nothing.
One day we were chatting and I asked him to smile for me (he smiled for me in an earlier pic and I thought his smile was adorable) in a pic when he asked "what did I want to see?" I saved the photo and then did a reverse image search on that photo. FINALLY, his LinkedIn profile. Now I can dig. What I found blew my mind.
He's married. He has kids. He's a pastor. He's a tutor/teacher at a private school. The list just kept going. Now it all made sense as to why he was so busy and why he could never meet up. One of the first questions I asked him was if he could host. He said no because he had "roommates" (fair enough) At this point we're still talking everyday, I'm still trying to meet him, he's still making excuses, messing with my emotions, tells me he's in love with me, calls me his wife, so on and so forth.
I finally say something to him that gets him to confess that he has a "partner" and if we do meet, it has to be discreet. I tell him I'm okay with that (don't judge). The run around of "I'm busy" continues for a few more weeks and we eventually get to a point in our conversations where I say "I feel like you're just leading me on and messing with my emotions. I can tell there's something else besides a busy work schedule that's holding you back." Now the truth comes out. "I don't want to ruin my marriage"
He doesn't know that I know and have already found out who he is and not only is he married and has kids but he's a PASTOR. After he confessed that he was married, our conversations happened less and less. I occasionally would initiate a conversation but always left it up to him to reply. The replies would take days, and then weeks, and now it's been months since I've heard from him.
What do I do? Part of me wants to expose him to his wife and another part of me says don't be a home wrecker. The information I have could destroy this man's life and I'm not trying to do that to someone. Yes, he's being deceitful and doing bad things but who am I to judge him? I still want to meet him even though I know it's wrong but the connection we had was one of the strongest mental and sexual connections I've ever had in my life.
If you made it this far and have any advice, I'm open minded and willing to listen.