Strattera is working and I still have ADHD and it is a GOOD thing.
Let me explain.
I've tried a lot of ADHD meds. Stimulants, non-stimulants, all of it. None of them stuck.
Strattera is the first one that actually worked. And here's what "worked" means for me:
- My anxiety is just... gone. I'm that chill guy from the meme now, and I'm never going back.
- I can stand up for myself, because I finally have one path to the words I want to say instead of a thousand branching off in every direction mid-conversation.
- I can start a task and actually finish it, instead of bouncing between a hundred half-started things an hour.
- I'm not afraid anymore, because I'm not trapped inside my own head.
But the title says I still have ADHD. So what gives?
Truth is, my relationship with ADHD was never pure hate. Even at my worst, I knew some of it was doing real work for me like the creativity, the way my brain jumps to places other people's don't. I never wanted it gone. I just wanted the volume turned down, without turning me into one of those flat, robotic-feeling people stimulants sometimes make you.
If I had to choose, I'd take that over the full, unfiltered ADHD package. But I always suspected the real answer wasn't choosing it was finding a way to have both.
Strattera is that way.
It's only been two months, and I'm not naive about that. Meds have quit on me before, and this could too or it might just quietly get less effective the way things do once the "new" wears off. I know that.
But right now, today, I'm grateful. Grateful there's something out there that actually works. And grateful that somewhere in this, I found a version of myself that doesn't hate having ADHD it embraces it, and actually loves existing this way.