u/Typical-Flounder-727

I am a person who likes being alone in most cases even when I was a child a would separate from my family and sit alone at the back of the the house away from everyone.

I am in my early 20s, I have friends and my friends are lovely and always want to hang out but I always decline and endup going somewhere else I can be or enjoy when am alone....I go to events alone. Even when I meet new and they start a jazz with me ....I get pissed feeling like someone is inconveniencing me.

Though I explained myself to my friends years back but sometimes I feel like I let them down.

This behavior i feel like its just growing every year cause now I stayed away from my friends and family for almost a year.

I stopped myself from even dating cause I endup sabotaging the relationship always since I really don't like people too close in my space. So in most cases I decline dates and outings....or hanging out with my partner.

And i don't think am an introvert or something like that cause am outgoing and kinder talkative....like in games can shout and cheer my team . Even i meet a stranger and we laugh , jazz or get to know each ...I want it to stop there.

On weekend I normally take long walks like from kireka to city Square, from Nalya to Kyanja, etc, This weekend I walked along Jinja road to kampala but I was returning I met these guys at Nakawa that ask people to enter taxis, I think they manage the stage.

So the conductor said " Nyabo Jangu nkutwaleko"

I looked at and shook my head implying am not boarding the taxi .

Tell me why this stage manager says " Oyo matama boot, lwabitama binene Naye Foot soldier totawana"

The whole crown laughed .

I tried to say something but the others started " Atte Alimbye, Tolina matama, Toli Foot soldier."

I felt like I wanted the ground to swallow me ella am not going to walk that path next to weeks.

Cause apparently they have been seeing me walking normally when i have the daily walks from Kyambogo to lugogo.😭😭😭

I was at the farm with my mom in Jinja and we were backbiting a sudden neighbor talking on how she has bad behaviors blah blah all sorts of bad things just because the Neighbors Goats encroached our maize and she has alot of Lugambo on the village So we greed we ignore her from today onwards.

In the evening we leave the farm to go back home and we meet that neighbor my mom starts talking to the Lady chatting and laughing even telling her about the crops that were destroyed in our maize garden.

Then she suddenly says " Gwe Sophie nga Tobuza Bantu"

Yoh, I felt like I wanted the ground to swallow me.

Then I became her topic saying children of nowadays we have no manners at all we don't want to greet elders blah blah.

Also our neighbor saying that am spoilt.

Now am sitted here just looking at her wondering how she can switch up this first.

I was traveling from kampala to jinja on Friday in a taxi , then a topic came up about marriage and some arguments came up about domestic violence.

Whereby some group of people was supporting Domestic Violence in their defense " mbu the man is teaching the woman a lesson since women act like kids "

I laughed and said " I have never been beaten or slapped accept in school by teachers and have never fought with anyone but if a person ever beats, we fight till the end "

The guy seated next to me said, " Why do you fight your husband, how will the Society see him after being beaten up by a woman." And other people were supporting him even including women.

Another woman said, "Waaa, you can't beat a man, you just have to endure and listen."

I removed out my phone i showed her some of my videos when am in rings and training with all my lifting and said, " Atleast leave him injured but I can't accept that."

They all switched to saying mbu " Kyakula Ssajja" to me, which i was happy to accept cause I rather be a stronger woman who can defend myself than accepting beatings from someone.

Another older man said, " These are the reasons our daughters don't want to get married now look at how y'all support voilence and think."

It was a full blown argument to the end but what I realised sometimes not everything supported by society is the way to go.

I feel like i miss judged...I did setup a hotspot business sometimes back in more of a rural area but I had alot of connections in that area but now I realised i am not making sales less people have mobile phones and I put in more.

I wanted to shift to mbuya and start there with the business plus even the technicians I used were not good enough since some access points were left unconfigured and yet Invested alot of cash but I just get disappointed i don't know if its early enough to change the location.

Alongside i feel like am even failing but I think town will work more for me cause am also operating a business there .

I was yesterday at lugogo purchasing novels and asked this lady if I can return the novels n get a discount and she said no the novels are given for donations.

So i have idea if we can make a gathering at a Cafe for people with novels and we exchange our novels with each other.

Basically I have a Resting B*tch Face which means I am kinder unapproachable especially for the first time.

My friends when they find me sitted in silence or just minding my business they always tell me " SMILE" and most people tell me " I look harsh and unapproachable " . I was used to all those comments until recently I was in town unbothered and in my calm state and I caught a glimpse of my resting face in the mirror of hawker.

I was shocked on how pissed and angry my resting face looked, but now I get why my friends te me to smile.

Is there any one that has been at Vanuatu , I would to know more abiut the country from a fellow Ugandan on what to expect.

So I was seated on a table on a restaurant behind some group of gents. And they were discussing things concerning relationships and stuff all chatty.

A lady walks in that was part of the group and one of the gents stands up and starts hyping the lady and then starts introduces the lady to the group while putting others down like " This Danny but his too skinny, This Brady blah" anyway while giving very backhanded compliments to his friends and the friends were looking at each other.

I was so surprised cause I think i had never witnessed it men, I thought that shit only occurs in women.

In Ramadhan I could fast the whole day and go to gym without any issues or hunger but yesterday I forgot to eat lunch only but my stomach bloated and enlargedto a size of a pregnant woman, my head was dizzy, the stomach was painful I couldn't do anything in the gym.

Why???

I have tried losing weight but am always on weight fluctuations this month I maybe at 80kgs the next month 72kgs then next 86kgs then 70kgs.

So any advice how to se weight constantly without fluctuations .

So ever since I started taking PECOS drugs I realised I lift heavier and am always strong so recently I got off the drugs and my strength decreased.

Do you all get the same issue ?

Am inquiring.

It may sound funny but am a person that thinks food and even the next day comes am already planning on what to how am gonna make it...I don't how to explain but I like food...Ella if I miss a meal among the 3 meals of the day I feel toooo bad.

I can spend over 100k on groceries onlyyyy And its not like I eat all of everything....I think I just want to see food available and my stomach full.

So how do I detach food