I'm turning 30 in a few months and I am going to go insane from corporate work.
To be honest im not exactly going insane. But...
Lets start this rant with a bit of background first.
I never liked the whole story from 9 to 17 40 years continuously.
During last year of colleage I started freelancing online and made decent money for my needs. A year after I graduated my life got a bit more complicated and i needed to find a regular job.
Back then I started working as a full time journalist. I rose terribly quickly through the ranks of the biggest online media in my country, funny enough because of the connections in digital economy ecosystem I made small time hustling online.
I became executive editor of business section of the media at only 25. I spent 2 years more in that position and oh boy was it a shit show. One good thing was the people I worked with the most, the team i ran, and my dorect superiors. The accumulated stress from the tension of online journalistic work, state and busibess run censorship, internal conflicts with other sections, general non ethical business practice etc. started to affect my mental and physical health and i decided to move to corporate.
Some time before my 28th birthday I entered one of the biggest and most reputable companies and joined theirs corporate communications teams. For a brief moment it felt better, the business itself was highly regulated, the team is big and diverse, the job we do is well managed and is divided fairly,, the stress factor is brought to minimum. But that is one side of the coin.
After working here for almost 2 years I just feel more draibed and stressed. The hidden rules, power relations and dynamics, formalisms, people fightong over stupid shit, getting terrible feedback from colleagues for minor mistakes that are usually solved on the fly, higher ups stopping initiatives without clear communications, ego dictating over skill and expertise, workibg on projects with 0 to null direction and budgets. I can write a whole post listing bizzare, stupid and downright degrading situations for an inteligent human being to go through (both me and others going through). Not to mention professionally.
When I started working there the idea was for me to do external events, writing of diferent content etc. Except it wasnt communicated with the team and for the first year i almost completely battlrd for a chance to do work I was intended to work. And then came the "good intentioned feedback" with 0 support (on the contrary). To cite a senior colleague: "Good work is not something we talk about, here it is expected. We only talk about mistakes" continuing to bash me over small errors thst didnt even make the final cut.
Fuck. This. Shit. I have worked in big succsesful systems for the past 5 and a half years, and fuck this shit. Most of my energy is spent on navigating the labyrints of corporate and my own teams intrigue (we all love each other, but we all hate each others guts). With what is left of it (\~10%) after all the demotivators I hardly manage to do the work prompting another negative feedback loop and further complication of relationships on which this line of work resides.
The stress of it all accumulates and is impacting my personal life big time. And that is another loop trigerring the aforementioned one etc.
In a few months im turning 30, and I am starting to seriously plan ditching all this and moving to country side and organically grow vegetables or prequalifying for some trade. If i continue spending a third of my work day submerged in corporate backstabbery and toxic almost cult like culture I might lose my shit from years of accumulated stress.
How can people live, not to say enjoy this shit?
TLDR:
Corporate culture and intercompany relations (their toxicity) are driving me insane and making me far too stressed seriously impacting my private life to the point im questioning the human nature, civilization, modern life...