u/UncleGleban

So, I've seen some discussion about whether the Gamechanger series, as written by a woman, is an accurate depiction of gay romance. I read that some gay actor found the sex scenes in the series "inauthentic." I guess that I've been doing gay sex wrong for the last forty years. (Not that my sex life can be compared with Hollanov's, but we don't come to romance for gritty realism!)

Personally, I have no complaints as to how authentic the novels feel to gay life, except for one thing: the reflexive jealousy the gay characters feel when their boyfriends show attraction, or even imputed attraction, to another man.

I mean, gay men can definitely feel jealous, and I completely buy it when a character is uncertain or insecure in his relationship to the man he loves. For instance, Ilya being jealous of Rose Landry, or in Common Goal, >!where Eric, before they're a couple, sees Kyle flirting with customers, pg 39.!<I can even grant it in The Long Game, where >!Ilya fires a puck to disrupt Shane's conversation with the attractive reporter, pg. 24!<. It seems a little extreme, but that's Ilya.

I'm talking about cases where the character has no reason to feel threatened at all.

To cite three that I was able to find on a quick search:

In Heated Rivalry (book), where Ilya is describing going to the gay club with Scott after the MLH awards, “'There were some very hot men there.' And now Shane’s face changed to the expression Ilya called 'clenched disapproval.'” pg. 269.
In HR (series), S1, Ep5, where Ilya and Shane are texting about Scott Hunter during the cup final, and Ilya texts, "He's hot so..." and Shane responds with a frowny face emoji.
In Common Goal, >!where Kyle mentions to Kip that a customer "has a giant crush on your fiancé," and "for a moment, Kip looked outraged, pg 42."!<

I feel that I could turn up a bunch more with more hunting, but I'm not up for a full reread of all six. Just yet.

To me, these scenes seem to match more the dynamic I see depicted in male/female couples, where it's taken for granted that the woman will get huffy (even if teasingly) if the man notices another woman.

I feel that in gay male couples, the much more common reaction is to express interest. After all, it's common for couples to bond over shared interests, whether that's in trains, or golden doodles, or gardening. And one thing that gay couples have in common is attraction to men.

I suppose it may be different when a bear who's only attracted to twinks is with a twink who's only into bears. Then the Venn diagram may not have much overlap. But, in general, I feel that gay couples tend to bond over shared interest in hot men.

That's one aspect of it. Another is that, while it may just be a stereotype, I think there is something in the view that men find it easier to divorce sexual attraction from emotional attachment. So, if your boyfriend thinks another man is hot, you don't jump to the idea that he wants to leave you for him.

To give instances of what I'm talking about, early on, my boyfriend and I (we've been together 33 years and legally married for 13, but he's still my boyfriend) developed a code for referring to other men when we're out in public.

NB — "Not bad"
KoC — "KInd of cute"
QC — "Quite cute"
NBAA — "Not bad at all"
JYT — "Just your type"
JMT — "Just my type" (For the small group of men where our tastes don't overlap.)

A typical exchange between us, when he's coming back from a workout:

"How was the gym?"
"Okay. Not much to look at. Except this one guy: South Asian, forties, furry, really nice beard, built, with big guns."
"Wow, sounds hot!" Teasingly, "Did you get his number?"
"He was with his girlfriend."

But maybe I'm just weird? How do other gay men. on the subreddit feel about this?

Spoilers: discussion of the plots of "Tough Guy" and (a little) "Role Model"

Like so many, I can't wait for Season Two, especially after I saw Jacob Tierney say that it's going to include material from "Role Model" along with "The Long Game."

But that seems to imply that they'll be skipping over "Tough Guy," which I makes me a little sad. Of course, they could come back to TG in a possible Season 3 or 4.

But TG comes before RM, and I think it would be very interesting to spend some time in Toronto with the Guardians. I think that Dallas Kent could be such a good foil to Ryan Price: the essential douche bag against the innately decent human being. An illustration of how soul-deadening it is to Ryan to have to be defending Kent, when he'd rather be punching Kent than the guys beating on Kent.

Plus, I think that it would really deepen our understanding of Troy Bennet to see his RM prehistory as Kent's wingman. First seeing him as a loathsome enabler and toady, maybe even more hateable than Kent, because he's a suck-up. And then catching clues as to Troy's inner conflict between his father's values and his mothers, coming to hate the whole Kent scene and hate his role in it. Watching Troy catch disturbing glimpses of what's happening between Kent and women. Nothing flagrant: just women rushing from parties in tears, women passed out on the couch at parties, etc.

All leading to the crucial conversion moment when Troy makes that fateful post supporting the women accusers of Kent.

But, apart from all that I really love the romance between Ryan and Fabian.

Speaking as a gay man, I love how totally and believably (to me) besotted the mountain man, "hockey lumberjack" is with Fabian's femme style. (Actually, I would describe Fabian as more fey than femme.)

To me, one of the most insightful passages in the whole Rachel Reid oeuvre (if you'll forgive the pretension) is when she has Ryan say to Fabian:

>This is it: I like men who sort of look at what men are supposed to be and say ‘fuck you.’ I like men who have the confidence to be themselves, even if it means a lot of people are gonna look at them funny.”

I know exactly what Ryan means. To me, when a man is as unashamedly fabulous as Fabian is in public is so strong and masculine. I totally see how Ryan can experience that way.

I remember decades ago, when I was college, I was at an outdoor classical music concert in Grant Park in Chicago. Suddenly a ball of yarn came bouncing down the aisle with a man chasing after it. I recognized him as a boy (also gay) whom I knew from campus, and whom I carried a torch for. Somehow to me, he had never seemed as sexy as I saw him in public, holding his yarn, his knitting and his needles.

Thoughts?

A question for the gay loons...

Tough love? I mean any love for "Tough Guy"??