u/Unhappy-Mode5504

My girlfriend left me on the same day my doctor told me I was cancer free. She supported me throughout the past three years through my entire cancer journey. Now I’m drinking again. I’m drinking right now. I just can’t imagine my life without her. I would do anything to have her back but she never responds to my texts. Why does life have to be so cruel to me? I had stage 4 esophageal cancer with metastasis to my liver. But I was extremely lucky. Targeted therapy worked incredibly well. Even my doctor was surprised by how well I responded. My girlfriend came with me to all my appointments and treatments while also working and making a living. She was there for me through everything. God, I miss her so much. I hate myself for losing someone like her. She was an angel. She loved me and cared for me when I was at my absolute lowest when I was sick and scared and hairless and disgusting. Can I ever find someone like her again? Someone who will genuinely love me and take care of me, even when life gets hard? I don’t think I can. She was one of a kind. I don’t want to fuck around. I just want her back. I don’t know how I’m supposed to let go of someone who meant that much to me.

She told me that she feels like she is all used up like she has given everything she had and now she has nothing left to give. I shouldn’t have screamed at her during chemo. I was in pain and overwhelmed but I still should have treated her with respect. I should have thanked her more for everything she did for me and for all the support she gave me. I never wanted her to feel like I was taking her love for granted but I realize now that I made her feel that way. I shouldn’t have made her feel lonely. So many of our conversations were about me, my treatment, my pain, my cancer, my fears. I never asked about what she was going through. I should have asked her about her work, her day, her worries, and her life. I should have listened to her the way she listened to me. I wish I had noticed sooner how tired she was. I wish I had understood that she needed support too. I'm so sorry. I'm a horrible man. I don't deserve such an angel

I had stage 4 esophageal cancer, but thankfully I’m currently cancer-free. My girlfriend broke up with me because she was afraid that if the cancer returned she could eventually become a widow. She was also worried about the possibility of our future kids developing cancer because of my family history.

I understand why she’s scared, but is it unfair to ask someone to take the risk with me? Is it selfish to bring children into the world knowing they might have a higher risk of cancer because of my family history?

I’m genuinely curious to hear honest opinions, especially from people who have been in a similar situation. What would you do if you were in my position?