Colin's Character Arc: Finding Purpose & Self-Worth Part 2
A character arc is a character's inner journey and how they evolve over the duration of their story. Ideally, each main character should have a goal, a flaw, and a need.
From the beginning, Colin's goal was to find his place in the world, his purpose, and to be taken seriously. His greatest dream was to travel the world.
Colin's flaws were his low self-worth and insecurity. He also had a hero complex. The lie he believed about himself was that no one took him seriously.
The truth was that a handful of people did take him seriously. Colin also needed to open his eyes to what was right in front of him, Penelope, and to gain a healthy sense of self-worth.
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Season 2, Episode 1:
Colin wasn't in this episode, but through Penelope, we learned they'd been keeping up correspondence while Colin was traveling. By writing letters, their bond and friendship have deepened.
Season 2, Episode 2:
Colin has arrived home early from his tour. If Colin didn't have feelings for Penelope before, they definitely grew some during his travels, helped by their correspondence, because the way he stared at Penelope wasn't how one looks at a friend they see only platonically.
At the horse race, the moment Colin saw Penelope, he abandoned his conversation with some of the other gentlemen and went straight toward Penelope. His body language, the way he smiled, looked at her, and his speech patterns, especially during "Pen. (Long pause) How have you been?" He's falling for Pen, and he didn't even know it. But that's only in his subconscious for now; in his conscious mind, he knew that their friendship had deepened. He felt closer to Pen. He also missed Penelope, even with her letters.
>Conversation between Colin and Penelope: "You are right. I was not exactly lonely on my travels. I did begin a real conversation with someone. Someone I had known for a long time. And yet, after everything that happened with Miss Thompson, I realized I never truly knew this person at all. Myself."
>"Yourself?"
>"I have you to thank. Your letters were so encouraging. I thought, if Penelope can see me this way, then surely I can too. I was just so distracted by Miss Thompson. So I cleared my head, swore off women and love, and... Well, I only wanted to fully understand myself before coming back into this world."
>"You've sworn off women, then?"
>"Well, for the time being."
>"I am a woman."
>"You are Pen. You do not count. You are my friend."
With everything that happened last season, Colin really lost himself. He made his tour into a self-discovery trip. He needed to get to know himself again. And he wanted to do that before stepping back into the marriage market. He has unknowingly hurt Pen with, "You are Pen. You do not count. You are my friend," but he meant it in a good way. Penelope is set apart from other women because she's special to him. She's Pen and his dearest friend; there's no way he would ever have sworn her off.
Season 2, Episode 3 & 4:
Some of Colin's lines and choices in these two episodes understandably irritated us Polin fans; on the surface, it didn't really make any sense or seem like bad writing. But we need to consider a few things:
Colin's season will be next, so it makes sense that part of Colin's story arc in season 2 was about finding closure from last season. I think they were preparing for his season.
His visit to Romney Hall was to show him, and us viewers, what his life would have been like if he had gotten married to Marina. They made Philip a lot like Colin for a reason.
Also, to foreshadow Philoise. As 204 was heavy on Philoise foreshadowing and calling back to Eloise and Penelope in 202 ("Someone like [Colin came in] Colin.")
As I said before, last season destroyed Colin's self-perception and self-worth. He lost himself. He's also an empath; he wanted to make sure Marina was ok. He knew she was going through a rough time.
He wanted to apologize (although there was really no reason for him to) and tell her he forgave her too. He was also hoping to get an apology as well.
>Colin said to Benedict, 203: "Or perhaps it will allow you to escape the thoughts that've been plaguing your mind. The doubts, the questions that seem to linger, no matter how far you go to escape them."
He's doubting and questioning himself. That's also why he started using drugs to relieve himself of those thoughts. It's not about wanting to be with Marina or still having feelings for her.
>Conversation between Colin and Eloise, 203: "If I must hear one more tale of your extraordinary adventures from Greece... Tell me, brother, if you loved it there so much, why did you ever return home?"
>"Well... Do you ever hear from her? Miss Thompson? Are you ladies not always writing letters?"
>"I'd have thought your travels banished Miss Thompson, Lady Crane, rather, from your mind completely."
>"Funny how distance is no match for memory, is it not?"
>"She lives not far from here, you know."
He couldn't stop ruminating about what happened during his travels, so he wanted closure. That's part of why he came back earlier than his family expected.
>Conversation between Colin and Marina, 204: "Then... why did you come?"
>"I... I came to apologize. Throughout my travels, I kept pondering how I left things between us. All of those terrible things I said to you."
>"Colin, there is no need..."
>"I want you to know that I am sorry. And that I forgive you as well."
>"I do not need your apology anymore than I desire your forgiveness. All of this, you and I, is in the past."
>"So it seems. But do you not look at your life and wonder what may have been if we had conducted ourselves differently?"
Colin also wondered what better he could have done last season, even though we know there was literally nothing he could have done better. This is where his low self-worth comes into play. Empathy as well, since he is the definition of an Empath. He was a victim, and yet he feels the need to apologize, feel bad for what he said to her at the Hastings House, and still want to visit her to make sure she's ok, even though he would be within his rights not to want to see or speak to Marina ever again. Most people in that situation would, but not Colin.
"So it seems. But do you not look at your life and wonder what may have been if we had conducted ourselves differently?" He wants her to be on the same level, on the same wavelength, and to apologize too. To give each other closure. He ruminated over it so much during his travels, and it seems Marina hasn't since last season. Colin was the only one who needed closure.
>"That is a fool's form of torture. I have left the past behind. You should do the same."
>"Marina, he is truly amiable. But... well, you do not seem happy with him."
>"You have only been here a few short hours."
>"I do not mean to offend you."
>"I am not offended. Nor am I angry. You are a boy caught up in his own fantasies. In truth, I once thought that would be enough to save me from my reality. But what I learned is I do not need saving in that way. What I need is to face up to my life and make my own practical decisions."
>"So you choose to be unhappy?"
>"We are not all guaranteed a fairy-tale ending. I am perfectly content with my children. And Sir Philip cares for me. He is a good father. We have built a life together. I am not the same woman you once knew. And I refuse to be thrust back into such a world of fantasy. That dream has long since passed."
>"Marina..."
>"You need to wake up, Colin."
>"Perhaps I have been a fool. I thank you for your time, Lady Crane.
This shows just how mismatched Colin and Marina are. To call back to what he said in S1, "I know my mind and Marina's. We understand each other." He really didn't. Neither of them really understands the other. "Marina, he is truly amiable. But... well, you do not seem happy with him." "So you choose to be unhappy?" He was wondering why she didn't seem happy (earlier with Sir Philip, he'd noted that Marina wasn't happy) and why she chose to be unhappy. Asking her, don't you want some closure?
He really wanted them to talk it out and understand what really happened. Marina wasn’t willing to do that for him.
>"If you would simply open your eyes to what is in front of you, then you might see there are those in your life you already make happy."
>"And who would that be?"
>"You have your family. You have... Penelope."
>"Penelope?"
>"You have many people who care for you. Seek them out, because your future will certainly not be found in the past with me."
>"Very well. Goodbye, Marina."
"If you would simply open your eyes to what is in front of you..." "You have... Penelope." Yes, thank you, Marina! And Marina knew about Penelope's feelings for Colin. I think this was her way to help Colin. To let the past go and hint that there is someone who could give him a future, a purpose. Who cared deeply about him, more than Marina herself ever could. She was also helping Penelope with this. Polin's relationship, really.
That said, Colin still held onto his fantasies of being a romantic hero. He also wanted to find his purpose. There was almost a world where he could have a purpose as a husband and father. Or he wondered whether “what they had” could have turned into something real. Maybe that’s why some of the things he said seemed like he was wishing to be with Marina, or that he “still loves” Marina. We have to remember he hadn't realized his feelings for Penelope yet, or even considered them. His "Penelope?" hinted that he never really had considered it. It's his inner journey; he will get there. I think it's human for him to wonder about these things, too.
>Conversation between Colin and Penelope, 304: "Colin. We, uh, missed you at the ball last night."
>"Yes. I fear I was not feeling up to it."
>"After seeing Marina?"
>(Colin nods)
>"How is she, Colin?"
>"She is... content."
>(Penelope sighs) "Good. I am glad. Perhaps seeing her was what you needed. To leave the past behind. To no longer feel the need to forswear women."
>"Lady Crane said she was content, but I cannot help but feel like... Well, we were all so hard on her. Myself included. Perhaps if Lady Whistledown hadn't rushed to print her gossip, things may have turned out differently for her. For all of us, in fact. But I suppose, there is no use dwelling on the past. I am indeed, thinking of the future."
Colin did not get the closure he wanted. Penelope, as we all know, was Lady Whistledown; she felt guilty and genuinely wanted to know if Marina was doing okay. Because the truth is, she did care about Marina and didn't want to do it in the first place. Although she did push Colin a bit here, Colin needed her to be his friend and not think about any romantic possibilities. He's still not there yet.
He wondered whether it would have been better for Marina if Lady Whistledown hadn't exposed her secret. "All of us." He's probably talking about his family, even though they're doing fine. If anything, it protected the Bridgertons. I wondered if he was also including the Featheringtons and Penelope. He's speaking of himself too, of course; if Whistledown didn't, I wouldn't have felt so lost and purposeless. It's mostly about himself, feeling just so aimless. And he felt Lady Whistledown was partly to blame for that.
Season 2, Episode 5:
>Conversation between Colin and Penelope, 205: "After all, everyone else is finding some purpose to their lives. Anthony is to be married. Benedict has his artistic pursuits. And, well, here I am... feeding the ducks."
>"I am sure the ducks are most grateful. You have a good deal of time and plentiful opportunities to make your mark."
Penelope realized her mistakes from their last conversation. She didn't push Colin. But Colin still didn't see Pen here. "And, well, here I am... feeding the ducks." I thought, well, you are talking with your dearest friend, Pen, too. And the way she gazed at him while he talked. She's so in love with him, and he didn't even notice. As Marina said, he needs to wake up!
Season 2, Episode 6:
This was the episode where we started to see Colin drinking a lot and always carrying his flask.
>Purpose Scene, 206: "A celebratory drink? Have you succeeded already, Colin?"
>"Only if whatever I am looking for can be found at the bottom of this flask."
>"I am certain you will find your purpose one day. Everyone must eventually."
Oh, Colin. Look at the girl in yellow. She's right there.
>"Lady Crane was right about you."
>"Lady Crane? What did she say?"
>"That you cared for me. That you would never forsake me. I am beginning to believe that now."
Marina did not say that; she said, "You have... Penelope." That Pen cares for him; he got that part right. Also, that he makes her happy; Colin must have thought a lot about what she said, especially the part about Penelope, and begun to ruminate on what Penelope meant to him.
Season 2, Episode 7:
In his search for his purpose, Colin invested in Jack Featherington's ruby mines in America.
>Colin and Penelope, 207: "I did not know you fancied yourself an investor."
>"No. Even I did not. Yet, I am beginning to think differently. I know it is a large sum to risk but I am sorely tempted. It is a chance to make a name for myself, as your cousin has done. And once our profits come, both our families will benefit, which is just what makes it so enticing."
>"You think highly of my family?"
>"I am not in the habit of consorting with those I hold in low esteem."
>"I never thought of it like that."
>"I understand. Our relationship has taken shape so naturally over the years, one could take it for granted. You have always been so constant and loyal, Pen."
And which Featherington, the only Featherington, is he close to? Who does he actually interact with and know? Penelope. g
"I understand. Our relationship has taken shape so naturally over the years; one could take it for granted. You have always been so constant and loyal, Pen." I don't know if he's aware of it, but Colin did take Pen for granted.
Season 2, Episode 8:
Colin believed Will Mondrich, or at least begun to be suspicious, when Will told him that Jack Featherington is a swindler. In the scene at Will's bar, Colin was talking about the mines with Jack, and Will came up to tell him. However, he pretended not to believe him.
>Colin to Will, 208: "Leave them out of it. The Featheringtons are a fine family whose reputation has been most unfairly traduced. I would be very careful of the accusations you make in the future, as it hardly seems you can afford to drive away any more patrons. Perhaps we might find another place to conduct our business, Featherington?"
This raised his protective instincts for the Featheringtons (Penelope), and he wanted to take it into his own hands.
At the Featherington ball, Colin tricked Cressida into taking the ruby necklace she got from Jack, then took Penelope's hand, said, "Come with me," and gently dragged her to the Featheringtons' drawing room.
>Featherington drawing room, 208: "Colin, it could be thought quite scandalous for the two of us..."
>"There are no gemstone mines in Georgia. Your cousin, Lord Featherington, I'm sorry to be the one to tell you this, Pen, but, well, I have looked into him. I believe he is nothing but a mere charlatan."
>"What? What are you saying?"
>"I am saying, if I am right, then this necklace..."
>(Jack Featherington and Portia Featherington enters)
>Jack: "Penelope? Mr. Bridgerton?"
>Portia: "What is the meaning of this?"
>Colin: "The meaning is..." (he broke Cressida's necklace with the handle of a knife) "that this necklace is a fraud, made of glass." (to Jack) "Just like you. How dare you take advantage of these poor ladies Featherington, without a father or a husband to protect them? It is out of concern for their reputation alone that I will only address this matter in private. But I expect you to return all of the funds you have collected, and leave town at once."
Colin had no reason to do any of this. Also, he's not particularly close to the Featherington family as a whole; he's not in the family in any way (for now). It's not his job, either. But he's close to Penelope. And cares deeply for her. He did all of this for Penelope.
>Afterwards while dancing with Penelope: "I had been rehearsing that speech in my mind for hours. If your cousin does not return the money and leave you alone, I will have another thing to say to him."
>"You were astonishing, Colin. I cannot thank you enough for looking after us."
>"I will always look after you, Penelope. You are special to me."
>"As are you... to me."
Colin, just marry her already. He was already acting like Penelope's husband.
But unfortunately, later that evening he made a grave mistake; we all know what that was:
>(Laughter)
>Colin: "Penelope Featherington?"
>Fife: "The way you were dancing with her looked rather interesting. You courting the girl, Bridgerton?"
>Colin: "Ah. Are you mad? I would never dream of courting Penelope Featherington. Not in your wildest fantasies, Fife."
>(Laughter)
Unknown to him, Penelope was listening in and heard him say that.
Oh, Colin, one step forward and five steps backward.
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This season was setting up Colin for his season. It also foreshadowed that Colin would one day play a big role in the Featherington family.