u/Upbeat-Taro2140

I just need to vent this out so I can finally close this chapter and move on. I recently resigned from my job at a Big 4 firm because of a partner (let's call him TP) whose behavior crossed way past the line of being "demanding" and straight into psychological abuse.

From the start, there were red flags, but I ignored them because the experience and line of work looked good on paper. Big mistake.

If TP was in a bad mood, the entire morning meeting was hijacked. He would spend 1 to 2 hours giving pointless, unprofessional tirades to the whole team. It wasn’t constructive criticism; it was public shaming over minor mistakes.

He also had a habit of picking a specific "target" to ice out whenever he was in a bad mood. If you were his target, he wouldn't acknowledge your existence for a month or more. If he needed to review or approve work for you, he would refuse to speak to you directly, messaging strictly through the group chat or forcing the EA to middle-man it. It got so awkward during client meetings that even the clients could sense something was seriously wrong.

What finally made me walk away was when his toxicity escalated to an entirely new, dangerous level. First, a teammate resigned due to mental health struggles, following proper HR procedures. TP went around telling everyone the person went AWOL, openly stating he "doesn't believe in mental health." He openly mocked mental health struggles and told the team that people with mental health issues should just jump off a building*.* Second, probably the worst, he tried to block a pregnant team member from taking her maternity leave because of "pending tasks." He targeted her all week, calling her out publicly in front of everyone. The following week, she went into labor and suffered severe complications. His first reaction upon hearing about her severe labor complications was to callously ask if she was even coming back to work." Lastly, his criticisms were never just about work. He would frequently pry into and mock our personal lives, going completely below the belt.

Even when I handed in my resignation, he made the exit absolute hell. Making clearance difficult, guilt-tripping me, and even trying to force me to extend my 1-month notice period just because multiple people were quitting his toxic team all at once.

I’m not looking for sympathy or validation here. I’m sharing this so future applicants know what they might be walking into with this specific partner, and to highlight how the firm handles (or fails to handle) accountability. I know there are plenty of good, professional partners at these Big 4 firms. I am not generalizing the whole firm. But management really needs to check these kinds of individuals instead of blindly protecting partners.

If you're interviewing around right now, protect your peace and vet your teams carefully. Working hard is one thing; enduring psychological torment is another.

I just need to vent this out so I can finally close this chapter and move on. I recently resigned from my job at a Big 4 firm because of a partner (let's call him TP) whose behavior crossed way past the line of being "demanding" and straight into psychological abuse.

From the start, there were red flags, but I ignored them because the experience and line of work looked good on paper. Big mistake.

If TP was in a bad mood, the entire morning meeting was hijacked. He would spend 1 to 2 hours giving pointless, unprofessional tirades to the whole team. It wasn’t constructive criticism; it was public shaming over minor mistakes.

He also had a habit of picking a specific "target" to ice out whenever he was in a bad mood. If you were his target, he wouldn't acknowledge your existence for a month or more. If he needed to review or approve work for you, he would refuse to speak to you directly, messaging strictly through the group chat or forcing the EA to middle-man it. It got so awkward during client meetings that even the clients could sense something was seriously wrong.

What finally made me walk away was when his toxicity escalated to an entirely new, dangerous level. First, a teammate resigned due to mental health struggles, following proper HR procedures. TP went around telling everyone the person went AWOL, openly stating he "doesn't believe in mental health." He openly mocked mental health struggles and told the team that people with mental health issues should just jump off a building*.* Second, probably the worst, he tried to block a pregnant team member from taking her maternity leave because of "pending tasks." He targeted her all week, calling her out publicly in front of everyone. The following week, she went into labor and suffered severe complications. His first reaction upon hearing about her severe labor complications was to callously ask if she was even coming back to work." Lastly, his criticisms were never just about work. He would frequently pry into and mock our personal lives, going completely below the belt.

Even when I handed in my resignation, he made the exit absolute hell. Making clearance difficult, guilt-tripping me, and even trying to force me to extend my 1-month notice period just because multiple people were quitting his toxic team all at once.

I’m not looking for sympathy or validation here. I’m sharing this so future applicants know what they might be walking into with this specific partner, and to highlight how the firm handles (or fails to handle) accountability. I know there are plenty of good, professional partners at these Big 4 firms. I am not generalizing the whole firm. But management really needs to check these kinds of individuals instead of blindly protecting partners.

If you're interviewing around right now, protect your peace and vet your teams carefully. Working hard is one thing; enduring psychological torment is another.