u/Valuable-Pipe3369

Hello,

I am an anarchist in despair, I suppose. I've been anarchist-identifying since 2018 and continue to be disappointed with anarchism and anarchists. I often speak about the need for discipline, self-development, and a sort of evangelizing of our ideas, as opposed to isolating ourselves. I'm often met with responses that this is "authoritarian," "elitist," and "christian-like," respectively. Like how the hell are we supposed to bring the revolution if we can't even talk to people about our ideas at the Food Not Bombs table?!

I am someone who is very "go-go-go" and feel stuck by the inertia or anarchists, who really come off as just radical reformist activist. The activist cause célèbre mentality itself is especially annoying. I am not interested in the particular symptoms of the state, capitalism, imperialism, etc; I want to get to the root of the problem! On the other hand, my always on the move mentality makes me feel guilty if I'm not doing something all the time, so I get wrapped into the activist scene easily.

The last year or two, I've been interested in what other ideas are out there. I have no interest in the Stalinist deviations, but Lenin has stood out to me as a figure that I at least find the personality of intriguing. The iron-will and practicality, especially. I like to think these are things I want to cultivate in myself and believe are positive qualities in a revolutionary.

To cut it short, I am looking for advice on how to recalibrate around left-communism as I investigate further. Left communism has been known to me for years, but I never properly investigated it outside of some of Camatte and Bordiga's writings ("Human Species and The Earth's Crust" stood out to me!) and talking to some terminally online leftcoms when I was younger (who I think have since abandoned the movement). I am interested in readings, groups to contact, videos / podcasts, etc. I am in the state of Illinois (not Chicago) if that helps in terms of who to suggest reaching out to.

Thanks for any advice or input.

Hi all,

Not a Luciferian, but know of this subreddit and some devotional work. I incidentally made a black-out poem about being a persecuted follower of Satan, thought I'd share. Excuse some of the kept words are partially blocked. I just woke up and was mindlessly playing! I sorta see it as alt-history of Satanism or Luciferianism in Rome.

https://preview.redd.it/pol60497azdh1.jpg?width=3745&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=5b99e94bd5d92bd99d6339094efd08575e4d688f

As the title says. One that comes to mind is not shopping.

I'm finishing my fourth year of secondary English teaching. Between workplace drama that's incomprehensible to me, student apathy, and a general disinterest in my work, I don't know what to do.

I want to leave, but don't feel my skills or degree apply to any other sort of work. Having an english degree with a specialization in secondary education doesn't seem transferable. I'm not interested in corporate world or curriculum development. I'm considering going back to school for a doctorate, even if just for a shift in what i'm doing.

Don't get me wrong, I value the idea of teaching. I enjoy bringing literature and writing skills to students. But seeing them dismiss it drains me. I like the consistent schedule, the summers off, & a general predictability. But it's just not satisfying and there's even a level of imposter syndrome.

It doesn't help that I went into this job because when I went to college at my family's suggestion (demand), I had zero idea what I wanted to do. I did English teaching just because I liked the idea of English. But my academic advisor cautioned me against simply an English degree.

Does anyone have advice on how to process some of this? I'm in therapy, so there's some general tactics with it, but i'm curious what educators or ex-educators have to say. And if anyone was, (or is) in a similar situation to me, I would appreciate hearing stories!

Hey all, a bit of a long post. I just want to get it all out there!

I got my BA in English, with a specialization in Secondary English Education a few years ago and have been teaching for 4 years. Through the local university, I get tuition waivers for taking student observers and student teachers. I've been using them to get a EdM in Curriculum and Instruction, with a focus in Bilingual-Bicultural Education. I've been burning out with teaching at the secondary level for a few reasons, such as student apathy & workplace drama. Working through my EdM has reignited a love of learning again and so between that and work disillusionment, I am considering a PhD.

A few facts that are possibly important: a) I received a 3.51 in undergrad. b) Right now, about halfway through my EdM, I have a 4.0. c) When I finish my EdM, I'd be the second in the family with a Master's Degree. d) If I pursue a PhD, I'd be the first in my family. e) Monolingual, White, agender/nonbinary, grew up lower-middle class, this changed when I was in HS and college. f) Grew up Roman Catholic, have experience in church literature.

My specific interest in an English PhD is cross-disciplinary, in Medieval studies. As of now, I have interest in studying Medieval English hagiography and its role in the religious and moral instruction for lower-class lay people. This seems a fair middle ground between English and my interest in Church history, but I wouldn't qualify for a history PhD. It would also take from my background and interest in education, though obviously in a much different context.

I imagine after the PhD, I'd move into academia, or more realistically, return to secondary education. Something I did not mention that is a motivation to leave education is the tier 2 system in IL, which is awful! I would hope it would be fixed by the time I return, but I am not holding my breath. In some ways, the PhD is motivated by the idea of being the first in my family to do, in a family who has generally seen me as less intelligent and capable than others in my family (I've struggled with a learning disability my family refused to pursue a diagnosis for..). However, I do love learning! I love the idea of TA'ing, doing research, or attending conferences in a subject I care for (English and church literature).

So, in what ways am I qualified and more importantly, in what ways am I not? What considerations do you have for me to dwell on? Does anything in this post stand out?

Thank you!

Hey all, a bit of a long post. I just want to get it all out there!

I got my BA in English, with a specialization in Secondary English Education a few years ago and have been teaching for 4 years. Through the local university, I get tuition waivers for taking student observers and student teachers. I've been using them to get a EdM in Curriculum and Instruction, with a focus in Bilingual-Bicultural Education. I've been burning out with teaching at the secondary level for a few reasons, such as student apathy & workplace drama. Working through my EdM has reignited a love of learning again and so between that and work disillusionment, I am considering a PhD.

A few facts that are possibly important: a) I received a 3.51 in undergrad. b) Right now, about halfway through my EdM, I have a 4.0. c) Monolingual. d) When I finish my EdM, I'd be the second in the family with a Master's Degree. e) If I pursue a PhD, I'd be the first in my family. f) White, agender/nonbinary, grew up lower-middle class, this changed when I was in HS and college. g) Grew up Roman Catholic, have experience in church literature.

My specific interest in an English PhD is cross-disciplinary, in Medieval studies. As of now, I have interest in studying Medieval English hagiography and its role in the religious and moral instruction for lower-class lay people. This seems a fair middle ground between English and my interest in Church history, but I wouldn't qualify for a history PhD. It would also take from my background and interest in education, though obviously in a much different context.

I imagine after the PhD, I'd move into academia, or more realistically, return to secondary education. Something I did not mention that is a motivation to leave education is the tier 2 system in IL, which is awful! I would hope it would be fixed by the time I return, but I am not holding my breath. In some ways, the PhD is motivated by the idea of being the first in my family to do, in a family who has generally seen me as less intelligent and capable than others in my family (I've struggled with a learning disability my family refused to pursue a diagnosis for..). However, I do love learning! I love the idea of TA'ing, doing research, or attending conferences in a subject I care for (English and church literature).

So, in what ways am I qualified and more importantly, in what ways am I not? What considerations do you have for me to dwell on? Does anything in this post stand out?

Thank you!

Hey all, a bit of a long post. I just want to get it all out there!

I got my BA in English, with a specialization in Secondary English Education a few years ago and have been teaching for 4 years. Through the local university, I get tuition waivers for taking student observers and student teachers. I've been using them to get a EdM in Curriculum and Instruction, with a focus in Bilingual-Bicultural Education. I've been burning out with teaching at the secondary level for a few reasons, such as student apathy & workplace drama. Working through my EdM has reignited a love of learning again and so between that and work disillusionment, I am considering a PhD.

A few facts that are possibly important: a) I received a 3.51 in undergrad. b) Right now, about halfway through my EdM, I have a 4.0. c) Monolingual. d) When I finish my EdM, I'd be the second in the family with a Master's Degree. e) If I pursue a PhD, I'd be the first in my family. f) White, agender/nonbinary, grew up lower-middle class, this changed when I was in HS and college. g) Grew up Roman Catholic, have experience in church literature.

My specific interest in an English PhD is cross-disciplinary, in Medieval studies. As of now, I have interest in studying Medieval English hagiography and its role in the religious and moral instruction for lower-class lay people. This seems a fair middle ground between English and my interest in Church history, but I wouldn't qualify for a history PhD. It would also take from my background and interest in education, though obviously in a much different context.

I imagine after the PhD, I'd move into academia, or more realistically, return to secondary education. Something I did not mention that is a motivation to leave education is the tier 2 system in IL, which is awful! I would hope it would be fixed by the time I return, but I am not holding my breath. In some ways, the PhD is motivated by the idea of being the first in my family to do, in a family who has generally seen me as less intelligent and capable than others in my family (I've struggled with a learning disability my family refused to pursue a diagnosis for..). However, I do love learning! I love the idea of TA'ing, doing research, or attending conferences in a subject I care for (English and church literature).

So, in what ways am I qualified and more importantly, in what ways am I not? What considerations do you have for me to dwell on? Does anything in this post stand out?

Thank you!