u/Vast_Order6041

Starting college in UP really made me question how I am supposed to survive this for the next few years. I have this constant fear as though everyone around me is so much smarter, and that I would never be able to catch up to their level. As if it's only a matter of time before they all find out I'm an imposter among them, then I'll be judged and despised.

I think ang pinaka tangible affirmation ko for this is that most of my classmates are DOST scholars, meanwhile I failed the exam.

Saying "at least I'm in the room" doesn't really put me at ease. I constantly feel that I could have studied more and did things better to be able to say that I really deserve the slot that was given to me. Feeling ko hindi ko talaga deserve na napasa ko yung first choice ko, parang anytime kasi mahuhili nila akong hindi pala matalino enough for it.

I've already been humbled in high school so I don't know why I feel this way. I know that I can't be the smartest in the room, so why does it still feel like I'm on the guillotine every time I think about academics. Ilang beses na ako pumalpak pero natatakot pa rin ako. Parang nababawasan yung worth ko every single time I fail. Why does it never get better, nakakailang exposure naman na ako to failure.

Hindi ko alam kung factor pa rin ba rito yung paulit-ulit kong naririnig dati na "kaya ka lang naman naging top 1 kasi wala na silang ibang mapili." It feels as if I'm proving my mom right. That I'm letting kindergarten me down, that I owe it to her to excel after everything she's been through. Nakakatawa naman kung affected pa rin ako, panahon pa ni kopong-kopong nangyari yun.

Hello po, please help a first time dormer freshie out 🥹

Paano niyo po na-bring up sa roomates niyo yung conversation about sharing/cleaning delegation sa room? Shy type po kasi ako + medyo nangangapa pa sa kung ano talaga mga need i-set para maging, as much as possible, smooth ang sharing of space between roommates. Hindi pa rin po kami nakakamove in kaya wala pa kaming prior meet and we've only talked via chats

So far po ito yung mga naiisip kong i-discuss:

— Cleaning duties (taking out trash, cr, sweeping lang since wala kami kitchen)

— Mga appliances na dadalhin namin each (para di doble yung rice cooker etc, siguro kung mga kettle ganon ok lang double)

— In addition to no. 2, sa gamit ng rice cooker, since mas makakatipid sa electricity if isahang saing kami ng kanin tapos kahit kaniya kaniyang ulam na (if ganon kaya sabay na lang kami bibili ng bigas tapos hati sa bayad?)

— Drinking water supply (same as no. 3 na need namin bumili and much better is shared)

May iba pa po kayang important na hindi ko nasama? Any advice is helpful po, thank you!

Hello. Incoming freshie here with social anxiety and it's genuinely so draining.

I've talked and interacted with some of my classmates and seniors thru gcs, and tuwing magtatanong ako sa gc or magsasalita parang pinagsasakluban ako ng langit at lupa. Grabe yung anxiety and preparation ko for a message that nobody probably even cares about.

and may mga nakausap na rin akong schoolmates f2f during the enrollment. But every single one of those interactions were so anxiety inducing. Feeling ko tuloy parang hayok na hayok ako hingin yung validation ng ibang tao haha.

Pagod na pagod na ako sa ganitong sistema ng utak ko. It was way worse at the start of high school compared to now, pero nakakapagod lang na ang laki ko na tapos ganito pa rin ako. I genuinely don't know what to do. Even talking and actively joining conversations during the enrollment was already a big step out of my comfort zone. Pero takot na takot pa rin ako.

I wasn't able to make many friends and develop my social skills as a kid kasi tambak ako sa school competitions (most of the time napupull out din ako sa classes dahil doon). I was so sad and disappointed na bilang sa daliri yung naging friends ko sa high school because I couldn't interact unless necessary. Nakikipagbiruan naman ako pero it never led to forming deeper bonds. Naiinggit ako sa malalaki yung friend groups. Parang sobrang tagal kasi bago ko iconsider na friends kami ng isang tao, di ko rin naman mapigilan sarili ko.

I'm genuinely so tired of feeling such intense anxiety over this :(

Hello! Super duper overthinker question but, what size of bond paper did you guys use to print the documents needed?

Since the RSA is in legal size, all documents ba legal din, or did you use A4 except for the RSA contract?

Hello po! nonreactive po yung Anti-Hbs ko since humina po yung immunity ko and balak ko po sana magpavaccine uli, okay lang po ba na yung PHEX form na ipasa ay yung may nakalagay pa rin na nonreactive po yung Anti-Hbs?

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Also, meaning po ba nun required po ako magtake uli ng Anti-Hbs test since yung results po na pinapakita sa una ay nonreactive po ako?

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Thank you po!

Hi po! Sa mga nag-apply po for case number sa PGH, nakakuha na po ba kayo ng case number? Gaano po katagal bago niyo nakuha? Thank you!

college results are out and I feel the worst. Feeling ko I'm taking for granted yung blessings na natatanggap ko. Na dapat nga nag-uumapaw ako sa tuwa kasi napasa ko yung state u na hinahabol talaga namin ng family ko (+ other big universities). Pero nakikita ko yung mga kaibigan ko na tinitimbang pa yung mga options nila kung saan ba maganda mag-aral, and my mood can't help but dampen kasi alam ko sa sarili ko na wala akong ganong option kasi mahirap lang kami.

yes, nakapasa ako sa ibang universities pero wala naman kaming pambayad ng tuition and I'm not smart enough to pass yung mga scholarships nila (for top 1 and top 2 ng batch, for top test takers, etc). Ang risky masyado nung option na magbabayad muna ng down payment bago makapag-apply sa other scholarships.

Kahit na sabihin nila na ako pa mamimili kasi ang dami kong napasahan, pero parang wala naman akong choice kundi piliin yung walang tuition?

gusto ko pa magmed, so that in itself is already a losing game. I passed upm so may RSA pa yung course ko kaya matagal talaga, pero nasa isip ko naman din na kung gusto kong mag medschool, upcm is my best choice kasi lesser costs (though syempre di pa yun sure kung papasa pero i heard that up grads have higher chances). Diba dapat matuwa pa ako, pero nung lumabas yung results parang hindi naman ako nakaramdam ng fulfilment, syempre grateful naman ako pero I really thought I'd be happier than what I feel right now.

Siguro I'm just dejected by not having the privilege to choose. Tumatanda na rin parents ko at may nakababata pa akong kapatid na high school ngayon. Logically, I know na best course of action yun para sa situation ko. Pero nakakalungkot lang pala yung pakiramdam na now more than ever nararamdamadan ko yung "limitations" because of our social class. Na ako tumatakbo tapos sila naglalakad lang pero sabay pa rin kami dadating sa destination namin :)

(This is just a rant to ease my mind, I'm grateful for the opportunities given to me).