how do i get it to stop
I want to apologize initially because I know this is going to be a highly emotionally written post, I truly just feel incredibly desperate and I don’t know what to do anymore.
I was first exposed to bedbugs in my home about three years ago. I invited somebody over my house for the first time, and after they left, I was bitten by a bedbug. I didn’t know what it was at first, I thought that my cats had fleas the next night, I had another bite, did my research, and realized my situation.
I have a considerable amount of clothing. I have historically been really into fashion, especially layering, which means I just have an abominable amount of miscellaneous clothing. It took several thousand dollars, daily trips to the laundromat, and the majority of the fabric in my clothing being bound in sealed bags after heat treatment for a year before I felt like I could return back to “normal” activity in my home.
The situation was traumatizing. I apologize for the dramatics, but this happened in my first apartment that I ever had by myself within two months of moving in. I was very young, and had no support system so I was driving myself crazy. I barely slept for the first few weeks, could barely eat anything, and was psychologically diagnosed with paranoia. I felt them all over my skin every single, second of every single day for months. In this whole situation, my apartment was treated three times for a severe infestation, and I had only ever seen three bugs in this process. I wanted to do the absolute most to ensure this would never happen again.
Last night, I was torn up by a bedbug. I suspect it was at least two. I got off of a late night bartending shift around two in the morning, and truly only had the energy to put my sheets and bedding into sealed bags. This morning, I went to put the rest of my fabric items into sealed bags, and absolutely saw another running around a backpack. I had hanging up on my wall in my bedroom.
I don’t know how to get this to stop. I don’t know what more I could do. I got rid of over half of my clothing, I plan on throwing away all of my furniture.
aside from quite literally throwing away every single item that I own, which I am genuinely entertaining at this point, I have an exterminator coming out to do a round of treatments, as aggressive as possible again. Last time, I kept my cats isolated in a bathroom while the remainder of my apartment was treated, and I’m going to house them somewhere else so I can use a much more aggressive treatment.
I genuinely can’t live like this. At this point, the paranoia mixing with my reality has put me in a disturbingly dark mental place. I really don’t know what to do. Any advice, words of affirmation, or thoughts would be so helpful at this point. I appreciate anyone who’s taking the time to read this post.