the exact moment i realized my business partner had checked out was a tuesday standup where he forgot what we were building
we do fifteen minute standups every morning. have done since we started. whats done, whats next, any blockers. simple.
tuesday morning three weeks ago he started talking about his update and referenced a feature we had killed four months ago. not vaguely. specifically. described work he was supposedly doing on something that no longer exists in the product.
i didnt say anything in the moment. just let him finish. then after the call i went back through his commits for the previous two weeks. three total. all minor. maybe six hours of actual work across fourteen days.
checked his calendar. twelve meetings in those two weeks with people i didnt recognize. titles like "exploratory call" and "intro chat." pulled one of the names into linkedin. founder of a startup in a space adjacent to ours.
hes interviewing. or consulting. or starting something. i dont know which. but hes not here. hasnt been for at least a month based on the output. and the standup where he forgot what were building was the moment it became undeniable.
havent confronted him yet. still deciding what i want the outcome to be. but the loneliness of realizing your partner left without telling you is a very specific kind of quiet. the standups keep happening. he keeps showing up. the gap between presence and commitment is apparently invisible to the person who created it.