I’m tired. Want to quit. Behaviors are off. Aide seems to want my lead position.
I’m mentally exhausted and overwhelmed. My mind isn’t present anymore when I’m in the classroom. Circle time with 23 children isn’t fun for me anymore. They use to respect and be engaged with me. Now I can’t even get a word out.
My aide doesn’t support me. I’m criticize every day. Only supports when the director is in. Likes to make herself look good and make me look incompetent. I’m left with 23 children while she takes her time doing something in the back not supporting me with behaviors. Gets upset when I ask if she could step in. She also has been recently walking to the back to look at her phone. I have to learn to be more assertive but I don’t want to deal with attitude lol from someone twice my age.
My aide mentions when I’m out the class is hard to manage. Had mentioned that the children only listen to me, and that schedules aren’t followed through to make it easy for herself. She so doesn’t redirect children when they are being disruptive or disrespectful. The children run the classroom. She doesn’t like the way I manage because I’m too firm. But I’m not scary like Ms. Trunchbull, the children still love talking to me about anything and give me hugs.
Speaking of hugs, she walked a child out to their parent the other day. The child walked back and gave me a hug. My aide didn’t even want to look, so now I assume she’s jealous of me? Which is strange because she’s twice my age. All I ever was nice to her and included her. Up until she gave me unprofessional attitude. Loves to bicker to me in front of the children. And wonders why the children have been whiny - because one of their teachers expresses their frustrations that way.
There’s so much more I want to mention but it’s 1 am. I will take accountability that my overwhelm-ness is also affecting behaviors.
Don’t know what to do and I’ve had enough with my aide telling me how to run my class when behaviors been thrown off since she started