To Someone Who Probably Won't Read This
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Maybe I just don't want the last thing I remember to be silence.
It's strange how someone you've only known for three months can leave such a big impact on your life.
At first, I was always the one asking if you were free or if you wanted to call. I never really cared because every time you picked up, we'd end up talking for hours. Sometimes four or five hours, sometimes the whole night. We'd talk about the most random things, laugh at the dumbest things, and somehow never run out of things to say.
Looking back now, it's hard to believe we once spent entire nights talking, and now we don't talk at all.
Back then, talking to you was the best part of my day.
No matter what was going on in my life, those calls somehow made everything feel lighter. My problems didn't disappear, but for those few hours, they didn't matter anymore. I don't think you ever realized how peaceful those conversations were for me.
You never really initiated calls, but you'd send me reels every now and then. I always looked forward to seeing your name pop up on my phone.
Then one day they stopped.
I still remember when you randomly sent me a reel after a long time. It was probably just another reel to you, but it genuinely made my day. It's funny how something so small could make me that happy.
I still remember almost everything you told me. Which is funny because I forget things so easily. You'd tell me the same story twice sometimes, but I never stopped you because I genuinely liked listening to you. I don't think you ever realized how much I enjoyed hearing you talk.
I still remember the dreams you told me about, the places you wanted to visit, and all the things you wanted to do. I always thought I'd get to see you achieve them someday. Maybe even help you with some of them.
I guess life had other plans.
I also remember the times you talked about your ex.
I don't know if you had completely moved on, but sometimes it felt like a part of you was still holding on.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't jealous.
But at the same time, I was happy that you trusted me enough to tell me those things. I'd rather listen to you talk about whatever was on your mind than have you keep it all to yourself.
There was something I never told you.
I really wanted to ask you out someday.
I never did.
Maybe because I thought you were out of my league.
Maybe because I never had enough confidence in myself.
So I just kept hoping that one day we'd finally meet. Maybe we'd get coffee, maybe we'd just walk around talking the way we always did on our calls.
I never told you any of this.
I just quietly hoped it would happen.
I still remember when you told me you were a professional at ghosting people.
I laughed when you said it.
I never thought I'd end up being one of those people.
Then came that drunk text.
If there's one thing I wish I could change, it'd be that night.
The next day I apologized because I knew I'd messed up.
I waited for a reply.
It never came.
After that, everything slowly disappeared.
The calls stopped.
The reels stopped.
The conversations stopped.
At first I kept telling myself you were probably just busy.
Then days turned into weeks.
Weeks turned into months.
Slowly I realized I was the only one hoping things would go back to the way they were.
Then on my birthday, I saw your message.
You wished me.
You probably don't know how much that simple message meant to me. After months of silence, the fact that you still remembered my birthday genuinely made me smile.
Sometimes I wonder how you're doing now.
I wonder if you've finally found the peace you were looking for.
I wonder if you've done the things you used to tell me about.
I hope you have.
I'm not writing this because I expect a reply.
I'm not writing this hoping you'll somehow see it.
I just wanted to say thank you.
Thank you for every late-night call.
Thank you for every random conversation.
Thank you for every reel.
Thank you for trusting me with your stories.
Thank you for becoming a part of my life, even if it was only for three months.
I hope you get to do everything you always wished to do.
I hope life gives you everything you've ever wanted.
And if I'm being honest...
Out of everything I miss, I think I miss hearing your voice the most.
Take care.