Moments of epiphany while in recovery
I've been discarded, out of the blue and with no explanation, 4 times in the last year, the most recent being 3 months ago and final. She took most of my friends with her, as she had been smearing me to them for quite some time, portraying me as abusive and dangerous. The betrayal and abandonment by most of my social and support network has been absolutely devastating. I have been blocked by everyone involved and had threats made about involving the police if I try to contact them. This has locked me into cycles of rumination that negatively affect the entirety of my life.
A few days ago, while spiraling into further-isolating thought cycles, I came to understand that there is something beautiful about my new understanding of pain, and this thought alone has greatly unburdened me of certain aspects of my suffering, which I had considered to be a hell of forever.
All that is, is now.
And now is ever passing.
There is hope.
Edit: The beauty I speak of is the opportunity my pain has allowed me - the opportunity to become a better version of myself, and the opportunity to better identify with and understand my fellow human beings. I am beginning to believe that, if I'm able to get through this, I might be better for it. I've experienced significant and grievious loss, and I now know the value of what those things are.