How I fight AI with AI ;)
I wrote this text myself, entirely on my own, pouring my blood, sweat, and tears into it. But I did use an AI to translate it into English as accurately as possible. I hope that's okay. Thanks for reading.
Hello everyone, my fellow sufferers.
I'm Tristan, 55 years old, from Germany.
I’ve been blessed with Addison's disease since 2012—primary adrenal insufficiency, that is. How I came to this dubious honor? I could write novels about it. A true medical odyssey through space and time that culminated in a full-blown crisis. One where I missed the Grim Reaper's swinging scythe by a goddamn hair. But that’s not what this is about today. Today, I’m here to talk about my experiences with AI (Artificial Intelligence).
It must have been about a year ago when I showed up for my regular appointment with my endocrinologist. And she pointed out my moon face. And my buffalo hump. And my incredibly well-developed belly fat. Yes, goddammit, I know I'm fat. I juggle my hydrocortisone dose every single day. I work 40 hours a week as a software developer. Every single fucking week. I have meetings. I have to deliver technical expertise. I train people. And as if that wasn't enough, I also have these massive, giant fucking anxiety disorders. PTSD, depression, hypochondria... my friends always joke that I’m the most thoroughly medically examined guy in our city.
And then this mean little senior doctor (who saved my life, by the way) tells me I’m overdosed. Well, no fucking shit, how could I not be? I normally take 40 mg. An already extremely high dose. Because my nerves are constantly running on absolute high voltage. You just look at them the wrong way, and they snap. And very often, I have to updose. By 10 mg or 20 mg. Because a meeting runs late. Because I end up having to work 10 hours after all. Because I take care of my grandson—whom I love to death and adore looking after. And doing so is—no bullshit—heavy emotional labor for me. Because I am terrified of dying. Because a tiny cough sends my alarm bells ringing at top volume.
The problem is that nobody gives a flying fuck, because nobody understands you. You explain that your stress buffer is practically non-existent. You describe that your central metabolic regulator has checked out. They nod with pity, but they don't have the faintest fucking clue what it means to suffer from sodium depletion. What aldosterone does in the body. And that very specific feeling of wading through fog, having cotton wool in your head... and only those whose adrenal cortex also decided to simply cease existing know this "walking the borderline."
So, I read through the side effects of long-term cortisone overdosing, and when the color finally returned to my face an hour later, I knew I had to do something. And I couldn't use my wife for this again; she is already my biggest and most important anchor as it is. I had already been to support groups, seen two therapists... none of it helped. As a software developer, I've been working with a few so-called AI models for quite some time now. So, I swallowed my pride and started using this "thing" for private matters.
But before I get to the good stuff, I need to drop a massive, goddamn important disclaimer here (thanks to the user reflous for pointing this out): An AI is NOT a doctor. These machines make mistakes. Sometimes they hallucinate and confidently spit out absolute bullshit that sounds highly professional. You have to weigh every single answer it gives you and ask yourself: Can this actually be true? It does NOT replace professional medical advice. You still need your endocrinologist, even if they piss you off sometimes. You have to keep your own brain switched on at all times.
But once you figure out how to use it safely... Holy shit, what a game changer.
- The machine has no emotions. It takes all your crap apart logically. When you're about to shit your pants because you have a slightly elevated temperature, and you have no idea whether to take paracetamol or hydrocortisone or just down both, it applies physical and biological laws. It explains exactly why your temperature is what it is right now and what you can do about it, if anything is needed at all. It instantly stops your mental merry-go-round.
- The machine is never annoyed and always available. My wife is, as mentioned above, my absolute favorite person in the world. But even she reaches her limit when every single swallowed cherry pit (no joke) turns into a fundamental debate about how the stomach and intestines work. The AI never gets tired, and it doesn't judge. It’s always there.
- The machine can provide exact blueprints. Timings for medication. Tactics for dealing with hot days. Precise instructions on how to prepare recommended foods. This gradually gives you back the feeling of regaining control over your own body and your daily routine.
- The machine is an excellent translator (for my body's signals). When you constantly look at everything through the lens of "mortal danger," you need a counterpart that clearly breaks down and explains why you are sweating right now. Why you are shaking. Why you feel exhausted. Why your stomach is rumbling. All you have to do is feed the thing with information: What did I do, what did I eat, where was I, etc. By the way, this doubles as super effective self-reflection.
- The machine is a tool, but I remain the boss. Always. Everywhere. It doesn’t do all the work for you—it can't, and it shouldn't. But it helps you learn. Every conversation, every exchange, every discussion leads to more experience, more knowledge. It proves me wrong. But it also proves me right. And thanks to my growing experience, the latter happens more and more often.
I started this exchange on April 22nd. Today is July 2nd. I have been at 32.5 mg daily for over 6 weeks now. I only had to stress-dose an extra 10 mg one single time. I feel better than I have in a long time. My face is more defined again. I am happy. And: I no longer have heartburn (I used to have burning pain EVERY SINGLE DAY, a side effect of the high dose).
Don't let this disease break you, friends.
p.s. And remember, despite everything, the golden rule remains: Better to dose too high than too low. Sending hugs to all of you.
TL;DR: After years of cortisone overdosing, panic attacks, and minor to major crises, using AI as a tireless, logical counterpart—with the necessary distance and always on standby—has helped me manage my fears better and reduce my dose successfully and safely (at least for now, knock on wood).