u/WintyreFraust

William Murray [aka WintyreFraust] and Mary Beth Spann Mank are the co-founders of the Facebook group "Love After Life," which is dedicated to serving the community of those who have had their spouse/romantic partner die, and who wish to continue a committed, romantic relationship with their partners for the rest of their lives and beyond.

More broadly than that, William and Mary Beth represent a more secular, non-spiritual, non-religious perspective about life, death and the afterlife, which is - as they see it - both unnecessary and often problematic. It seems every source of information and thought about these things is infused, to one degree or another, with spiritual or religious interpretations, dogma, ideology and beliefs. While that may comfort and be of value to many, it is also a source of confusion, pain and suffering to those who are in grief and trying to get information about the afterlife and learn how to interact and communicate with their loved ones there.

William and Mary Beth do not claim to be authorities on any of these subjects, gurus, psychics, mediums, grief counselors or "spiritually enlightened." They are just two people who had the love of their lives die, and found a way through the devastating grief back to a very happy, joyful, fulfilling and satisfying ongoing relationship with their respective romantic partners, Irene and Paul. They have and countless conversations over the past 8-9 years about these topics, which has proved very helpful both to them and to others in the group.

They do not record the group Zoom meetings of the group in order to protect the privacy and anonymity of members, but this leaves out a great many of the members who cannot attend those meetings, and they cannot be shared with the public at large. To address this, this additional new Zoom meeting format has been created specifically to do the best they can in bringing those conversations to a wider audience.

These conversations are not planned out or scripted. They don't have talking points or any significant preplanned order. These videos are raw and unscripted and free-wheeling. they're not trying to educate or teach anyone anything; they are just offering these conversations, based on their experiences, perspectives and views, to members of the Love After Life group who cannot attend the regular Zoom meetings, and to anyone outside of the group that might resonate with the information and be comforted by it.

I see this comment all the time in this forum: "Nobody knows."

I agree that nobody knows everything about the afterlife; I doubt that anyone knows everything about anything. We certainly don't know everything about the Earth, for example, and it's been directly examined and investigated for as long as people have existed.

But FFS, people, some things are known about the afterlife.

How is that knowledge acquired? From people who live there and from people who visit the afterlife from here. We're not talking about a few people, we're talking about vast numbers of people, from every walk of life, throughout history, from every corner of the world, including some of the most credible people to have ever lived; including many scientists, and including many former materialists and hardcore afterlife skeptics.

Are there some disparities between these reports? Yes, but all this means is that what we call "the afterlife" is a really big, diverse place. Of course there's going to be "disparities" between these reports. If we called up 1000 random numbers around the Earth, we'd get 1000 reports with different content in those reports about what life is like just on Earth. Some of it, maybe a lot of it, will match, and from these commonalities and disparities we can get some ideas, gather some knowledge, about some things in the afterlife.

One bit of well-established knowledge is that many, if not most, people who die here find themselves either immediately, or very quickly, in a physical body in a physical environment. They are still themselves. They usually feel like they have "woken up" and have "come home," or they are just confused about where they are and how they got there. Some people die and find themselves standing or floating near their dead body here, but soon a loved one or someone like a helper or a guide comes along and the dead person quickly transitions into the above-described afterlife landscape.

Virtually every scientist that has ever actually committed themselves to researching any category of afterlife research, even with the intent of "debunking" it, has walked away convinced of its existence, even though expressing that view usually ends their mainstream science careers due to materialist bias in the scientific community.

So: yes, we know there is an afterlife (and by "we", I mean the people that have actually taken the time to seriously research and investigate the evidence and/or have had personal experiences sufficient to prove its existence to us,) and yes, we do know at least some things about at least some areas in the afterlife, and what it is like - generally speaking - to live in those areas after we die.

Life, the afterlife, reality, existence, explained. Signs and synchronicities - explained. Hard problem of consciousness - solved. Fine tuning problem - solved. Quantum mechanics and the role of the observer - clarified. Mind-matter interaction problem - erased. Diversity of afterlife experiences - explained. All in less than 70 pages, and free to read.

https://drive.google.com/file/d/1aBpDY0YmMgT323iLrS4WhSqu3451uiHD/view?usp=sharing

This is my main problem with "spirituality:" very little of it appears to be evidence-based or based on simple, rational and common-sense perspectives, and attempts to make complex or deep and broad universal rules and structures out of a few hand-picked or even single sources of information.

I prefer a more broad-based, common-sense kind of approach that isn't an attempt to figure out any grand spiritual or religious rules or systems. I'm not saying such things don't exist; it just doesn't appear that most of that applies universally to everyone who lives and dies here and then continues living in what we call "the afterlife."

So, we have this big confusing mess of spiritual and religious tropes, about ego, karma, reincarnation, soul contracts, soul families, higher selves, spiritual "levels," spiritual progress, the veil, prison planet and rejoining the big ego-less cosmic soup of love, etc. Again, I'm not saying those things don't exist; I'm just saying that, according to the evidence, they are not universal experiences.

Honestly, the actual long dead don't really often even talk about any of that. They just report leading relatively normal lives, much like they did here; just that it's better there, with several "perks," so to speak. Prolific astral projectors who have visited the afterlife hundreds of times provide reports that match up extremely well with what the dead have said about death and dying. Those that died permanently (not NDEs) rarely report having had any NDE-like experience at all when they died (which leads me to think of NDEs as more like some kind of deliberately set up intervention process than what permanent death is like.)

Fortunately, IMO, in my experience and according to my years of research into the afterlife evidence, the afterlife isn't really that difficult to understand if you step outside of all of that (frankly, weird) spiritual interpretation and characterization and just apply a little common sense to a broad reading of the actual evidence.

It appears from the evidence that when you die, the most likely ensuing experiences is either you find yourself near your body here, or you find yourself in some other familiar location that feels comfortable and like "home." You may be by yourself in the beginning and then someone familiar to you (or even a pet that has died) approaches to help get you oriented, or you find yourself in the company of friends and family (and possibly "spirit guides") that welcome you and help to get you oriented.

You either immediately or very quickly find that you have a completely physical body and are in a completely physical environment, often called "more solid" and "more real" than this world. You are still completely yourself as you were when you died, usually just healed up from any physical ailments or issues, and you find that you look like you are the peak of health and your body is an "ideal" version of yourself, looking like you are 25-35 years old (unless it is a child that died, who generally remain a child and the continue their maturation process until the reach an appearance of being 25-35.)

Another relatively common "full death" experience is waking up in a kind of clinic or hospital in the afterlife where you are being treated for/healed from deep psychological wounds and issues that have carried over from this life.

The dead appear to do the same kind of things in the afterlife that they did here; walk, talk (although telepathy is available), swim, hike, eat, drink, have relationships - including sexual relationships - have work they do (that they want to do,) have all the same kinds of entertainment available there that we have here, go to social gatherings and family get-togethers and have barbecues and game nights and parties on the patio.

From multiple evidential and highly credible sources, you can live this way as long as you wish - for eternity, if that is your wish.

You don't have to understand how it all works, or be a spiritual or religious person for this to occur; apparently, it occurs naturally. It's just how reality appears to work. And yes, there are various spiritual and religious beliefs and communities there, just as there are here.

I really don't know what anyone else would really want out of the afterlife or why they would dive into any complicated conceptual structures about "what it all means" or even "how it all works." But, if that kind of thing interests you, you can pursue that goal over there just as you can here. There are vast libraries and various schools (that teach different ideas, theories and doctrines) available.

Apports are when physical objects appear out of thin air. I think I've only talked about one of these in this forum before, the incident involving the Allen wrenches, which you can read here: A Few of my Personal Experiences Interacting With My Dead Wife

I've had other apport experiences, a couple involving remote controls in the house. Yes, I know, I know, everyone experiences disappearing and reappearing remote controls, but these are not ordinary cases of misplacing a remote.

The first one: I had experienced misplacing a remote (I have several in the living room, and several in my bedroom) so often I had developed a system for dealing with it, which involved arranging remotes in a specific pattern on a particular surface, knowing how many there are, and there not being anything else on that surface. When a remote turned up missing, the first thing I would do was scan the surface by quadrants and physically touch and count the remotes just to make sure it was not where it was supposed to be and I was just "not seeing" it there.

I also had a specific search pattern throughout the house that I used to find missing remotes.

One day one of the remotes in my living room was missing from it's usual spot. The first thing I did was do my surface observation, count and physical touch-check. It wasn't there, so I performed my house search pattern. I couldn't find it. I repeated this whole system three more times, and the remote didn't turn up. I sat down on the couch in front of the coffee table, the surface that held the still remaining remotes in order and arranged. I thought that somehow I had really lost the remote by placing it somewhere really out of the ordinary.

One more time, I search through the cushions of the couch I was sitting on, to no avail. I turned back to the coffee table in front of me.

The remote was right there, out of position, right in front of me, turned sideways.

Now, here's the weird part that speaks to how we can miss signs and synchronicities right in front of us: I just shrugged and thought, "I guess I just didn't see it," turned on the TV and started watching a program. A few seconds later, my dead wife popped an urgent thought in my head: "That's not what happened!!!" and I started thinking about it, and realized that I had just forgotten about the 4 searches where I had established that the remote was in fact not on the coffee table.

It was like something was actively trying to erase that whole repeated search and physically counting process from my memory. It was like I was trying to remember a dream. It was so weird.

The second one: I was still using my system of search and observation to make sure that I wasn't just visually "missing" an object that was in a location the whole time.

One day, in my bedroom, the only white object on the surface of my ottoman was the remote for the air conditioner window unit and it was missing. I performed my usual search routine (described in the previous event) several times and couldn't find it. I physically touched and counted the objects on the ottoman. The remote was not there - obviously, the ottoman was dark brown and the remote was white. The other few objects were either dark brown or black.

I stood leaning over the ottoman with my eyes fixed on the surface. I told my dead wife, out loud, that I was going to close my eyes and look away for just a second, and that if the remote was there when I looked back, I would know for sure it was her. I then closed my eyes, turned my head away and then immediately turned back and opened my eyes.

It was right there where it was supposed to be.

The question is: can we really spend eternity in a Earth-similar world comprised of better versions of things in our life here, without the hassles or issues of this world, with the people we know and love from our lives here, or with those we know over there?

There is agreement that we can do that, if we want, as long as we want, but the question is, will we want to after a few thousand years?

Because I see all of this in terms of psychological reality ( a form of ontological idealism,) for me this is ultimately a simple psychological question, albeit a pretty profound one: can you maintain psychological happiness, joy, wonder, satisfaction, enthusiasm and love in a stable astral environment/situation forever, once you have acquired the necessary contextual and contrasting experiential base for all of that by coming to this world?

By "mundane," I just mean the normal, every-day relationships, activities, and things we are familiar with in this world. Sages and spiritually wise men and many sources from the other side and those who visit those worlds are in large agreement that the vast majority of people who die here do exactly that, at least for some period of time, after they die here. It may take a few years, a hundred years, or thousands of years, but eventually those places and that lifestyle will - supposedly - stagnate for us and grow either boring or unfulfilling. Our hearts will yearn for more, and we will - in time - leave all that behind for "higher" pastures, so to speak.

Again, that's obviously just a psychological issue. Psychological issues can be overcome, but I suggest that, for the most part, this is not really a significant issue in the afterlife. The emotional and psychological qualities of experiences do not "fade over time" or grow stale or old in the afterlife; they are always vividly alive and fresh. There is no "degrading" aspect of time, memory or even in repetition because those psychological states are always available just by turning your thoughts in that direction and vividly, instantaneously re-experiencing all of the context and contrast that made that first kiss or first baby-step so remarkable.

All of that is available for us to experience, and re-experience, in the same way or in other countless variations, forever. Every night I get into bed, even in this world, I deliberately remember the first time my wife and I got into bed together because we had stayed up all night talking and we both needed some rest. We didn't make love; we just held each other close, kissed a bit, and both felt like the world disappeared and time stopped and we were in some kind of blissful state. I can tell you that after nine years of doing that every night, it never gets old, not even here in this world, and even in my low-resolution, faulty and incomplete memory that I have access to here.

So yes, that "happily ever after forever" is available for everyone, if they wish.

To understand how the dead use signs and synchronicities to interact and communicate with us, you need to understand ... well, the nature of reality. But before I get into that, a disclaimer: this is my view on it, based on my own experience and my research both into the afterlife evidence and research into various theories and models of the nature of existence. If it resonates with you and is helpful, good. If not, just ignore me. After all, I'm just some guy on the internet saying stuff.

Like the afterlife, and all possible worlds, this world is not a material world, a place where everything is a solid-state, hard-wired collection of individual, disconnected things that have individual, absolute, material qualities and characteristics bumping into each other, so to speak. This world (and all worlds) are fields of potentials, possible arrangements and probabilities.

This has been clearly demonstrated by quantum physics research over the past 100 years, culminating in the 2022 Noble Prize-winning research that demonstrated conclusively that "local realism" was false, and that understanding of reality was false. Other experiments have demonstrated that these quantum effects scaled up to macro objects as far as they had enough money and resources to test.

This means that every-day "objects" we interact with are not "objects" at all; they are a representation of countless potential positions and characteristics where one has been "collapsed" out of that potential into an observed and experienced singular "thing." There are many scientists that agree that observation is one of the things that is a form of "measurement" that causes the selection of one state of thing to be experienced from all of the potentials.

There is a kind of collective "averaging" that occurs with groups of people that results in a largely mutually-consistent experience of a repeatably-measurable "external," shared world. However, individuals and individual experiences can vary widely, especially when other people are not involved.

Things like birds, coins, feathers and butterflies are easier for the dead to manipulate through directed, intentional observation, and via their connection with loved ones here, because it's not having an effect on other people or anything that is being directly measured or observed by anyone else. These "small" variations don't involve what appears to be any violations of physical laws and are usually just dismissed as "weird" coincidences or unlikely events. Even if other people are involved, such things occurring are still well within the parameters of the "experiential averaging" of how any individual things are "collapsed" out of the available potentials.

These kinds of personal contacts from the dead take less effort because there is less resistance by the "collective averaging" of billions of people who live in this world.

I suggest taking such meaningful signs AS signs, especially if you would like to have more. Dismissing them as coincidences reinforces the "averaged" norm in your own observational path forward. Accepting them as signs helps to wean your own expectations and observational patterns away from the averaged norm. Validating them, and appreciating your dead loved one for sending the sign, both gives them encouragement to put the effort in, and helps tune in your own sensory capacities to these kinds of experiential patterns.