u/WitchDetective1337

Background about dad:

My dad lost everything he'd earned years ago and never told us. He kept taking new loans to close old ones until it snowballed. We only found out when lenders and loan sharks showed up at our house. My sister and I (both working now) recently finished clearing around 40L of his debt. Then he told us that 12 years ago he let his brother pledge our house for a business loan. My uncle sold the business, went bankrupt, and the bank now wants 38L.

few months ago, dad borrowed from loan sharks again, this time for the same uncle, without telling anyone. He kept asking mom for small amounts with excuses until he finally admitted it after a lot of fights. Even after we promised to help if he was honest, he still hides things, so we don't know if other debts exist.

He's stopped working completely like 3 years ago. My sister and I cover all his expenses, and he doesn't help with anything around the house. His day is waking up, checking his WhatsApp good morning messages, breakfast, then YouTube and WhatsApp on his phone all day, with a walk nearby at 5pm and youtube again in the night.
When we ask him for details of what he owes or when we dont give him money, he turns it into emotional blackmail, saying we don't value or respect him because he has no money, and threatens us to take his own life. He also used to hand signed blank cheques to lenders, so we've hidden his cheque book.

He has a long history of making up stories to get money from us. An exmaple, years ago, he called saying a cow had jumped in front of his car, he'd hit a biker, and he urgently needed cash for the hospital. He even made the "biker" talk to us on the phone. I believed him and sent the money, only to find out there was no accident. The "biker" was someone he owed money to.

He also got into the habit of buying lottery tickets with OUR money. If we send him out for vegetables (our money), he'd spend the change on lottery tickets and hide them. We once found a whole bundle hidden in his room. That was years ago, but he still secretly buys tickets and keeps asking for small amounts here and there.

My mom and grandmother live in the house. Mom is open to living separately from dad. They don't want to take legal action against my uncle, and mom is emotionally against it too.

Details:
House value: 65L
Bank dues: 38L
House ownership: dad
Bank notice stage: auction notice received

Questions

1. Is it worth saving the house considering everything?
2. Has anyone negotiated a one-time settlement (OTS) on a loan like this? How much discount is realistic?
3. How do we protect our own savings and future from his borrowing? We're planning a public notice. Did that help anyone?
4. Some lenders may still be holding blank cheques he signed in the past. What can they do with those, and does any of it affect us?

I've posted about this elsewhere for general advice. Thanks in advance.

TL;DR: Our house (65L market value) was pledged 12 years ago as collateral for my uncle's business loan. He's bankrupt, and the bank needs 38L to release it. My sister and I just finished paying off 40L of our dad's debt, and he's still secretly borrowing. Trying to decide whether to save the house, sell it, or walk away, and how to protect ourselves going forward.

I'm 27F. My younger sister and I recently finished paying off around 40 lakhs of our dad's debt. He lost everything he'd earned years ago, isn't doing great mentally, and has now stopped working. We never found out about his debts from him. We only found out when loan sharks and lenders showed up at our house.

When things first went bad, my sister and I were still in college, and he didn't tell mom or us anything. Instead, he kept taking new loans to close old ones, and with some really poor decisions along the way, it snowballed into a massive debt. If he had just been honest with us back then, we could have handled it very differently and would be in a much better place today.

Just as we thought we were done, he told us that 12 years ago he let my uncle (his brother) pledge our house as collateral for his business loan. My uncle has since sold the business, gone bankrupt, and can't get the house back from the bank. We now need around 38 lakhs to save it.

It gets worse. About 5 months ago, dad borrowed money from loan sharks again, this time FOR the same uncle, without telling any of us. Mind you, he doesn't earn a single rupee. WE are the ones who end up closing his debts. For months he kept asking mom for 2k, 5k here and there with random excuses. She refused because it was obviously a lie, and after months of fights he finally admitted it. Even after we told him we'd help if he's honest with us, he still hides things. So honestly, we don't even know if there are other debts out there.

Some context:

• I don't want to pursue legal action against my uncle. It would take years, and my mom is emotionally against it.
• My grandmother lives with us in this house because my other uncles can't take care of her.
• My mom is okay with living separately from dad because of the constant lies and disrespect, but she can't file for divorce because he threatens to take his own life if she does.
• Outstanding loan on the house: 38 lakhs
• Lender: Union Bank
• Current status: Auction notice received
• House ownership: My dad

What I'm trying to figure out:

1. Is it even worth saving the house for 38L (because constant fights at home), or should we let it go and move mom, grandmom, and ourselves into a rental?
2. If we save it, can we negotiate a one-time settlement (OTS) with the bank?
3. How do we financially protect ourselves from dad's future borrowing? Can lenders or loan sharks legally come after my sister, me, or mom for his debts?
4. Is living separately (and possibly moving dad to an old age home or separate accommodation) a realistic option?
5. How do I stop being the family's permanent repayment plan and actually start saving for my own life?

I'm tired of paying for decisions I had no part in. Any practical advice from people who've been through something similar would really help.