30 months in this journey
And I find it really hard to comment on or give others hope, like “Who am I to comment”. I was diagnosed with kidney cancer on January 3, 2024, had the left kidney removed and 25% of the right. I’ve been on keytruda and lenvima for 30 months with all clear scans since.
Other than the usual side effects, I’ve tolerated the treatment (keytruda & lenvima) and all my CT and MRI scans have been negative. But some days, hell, most days, I just can’t escape from the reality that I have cancer. It’s omnipresent and it jades all my thinking.
I just get tired of the cycle, you know? Waiting for the other shoe to drop, for the doomsday clock to start winding, etc. And I know none of that is healthy or productive, but I can’t seem to help it. I guess people who aren’t going through it or something similar can’t really understand how tiring it can be mentally to never get a break from a diagnosis or prognosis. Or the feelings of guilt when others have it much worse than I do. Or the wondering if treatments ever have a stopping point…