u/Writiste

My second blood patch (April 30) relieved my headache, but left all the other symptoms alone (reads like Wikipedia description of CSF so I’ll skip the list). I finally had to take medical leave from work, which threw me into a deep(er) depression. It’s not just losing the satisfaction from my job (which I love), but the loss of my work community (they seem happy to hear from me but no one has reached out 😿 + 😠), loss of routine and- oh yes- a 40% cut in pay. Since I’m the sole breadwinner in my little family, Ouch.

My neurologist thinks that there’s likely another leak or leaks that we don’t have the equipment or experience to locate. So she’s referring me to UC, Stanford and Duke (Cedars turned me down 2 years ago). As you know, the record reviews take a while and after that, there’s the waiting for treatment. So no end in sight, at least not before my leave runs out.

Ironically, I wasn’t a couch potato before CSF. Now couch potato seems aspirational, (bitter laugh). So much of what I loved to do requires sitting up. If one more person chirps “just focus on what you CAN do” I’m gonna stagger drunkenly after them and wave my cane in a threatening manner. Then black out from the vertigo.

Yes, I’m taking an antidepressant and work with a psychologist. But I still get overwhelmed. Well, CSF is overwhelming and suddenly my safety net doesn’t feel that safe..

How do you cope?

Better late than never, right? Today I stumbled across this adorable Tashi video (hey it’s TASHI so you know going in that it’s going to be adorable.). The original content comes from Great Plains zoo and is posted on Instagram.