u/Zealousideal-Can-403

You are not Feyre, your sister is not Nesta. No, you don't have a Nesta in your life. There isn't a Nesta in real life—stop it, it's a fictional character.

Feyre's a fictional character. Tamlin is not your ex. Rhysand is not your ideal boyfriend.People liking any of these characters aren't toxic because of the character they like. As also a person isn't toxic for disliking any of the enumerated characters.

I don't know who needs to hear this, but I had a need to say it.

And yes, we can recognize feelings/actions that mirror our real experiences in some ways, but that doesn't mean the story is a mirror of our life. We have every right to dislike certain characters because of our own personal experiences, but I think we need a reminder from time to time that the story isn't about our life.

Idk, in my childhood grandma tried to force me to eat semolina pudding because she considered it's healthy and I have to eat it. She forced it to the point of pushing the spoon into my mouth (and I was 5/6 y.o. at the time). Because of this experience I dislike the part of the SF plot when Cassian controlled Nesta's food. But this doesn't mean that grandma was my Cassian and that the situation from the HoW mirrors mine.

Your experience with people in real life is just your experience. You can draw certain parallels, but that's a general allegory problem, it's not a reliable source to describe the situation.

And unless your mother died, your father lost all your money, you had to move out with him and your 2 sisters into a shabby place off the grid, and you had to hunt to provide, while having scurvy because apparently you don't eat anything else, then surprise you aren't Feyre. Your crappy sibling/friend isn't Nesta.

I understand that it's all metaphorical speech most of the times but I feel like some people take it too far.

Anyway, like and dislike whoever you want, just remember the difference between fictional and real.

>It was Amren who had said, Let her dig her own grave, boy. Then offer her a hand. I thought that’s what this past year has been, he’d countered. Keep reaching out your hand, had been Amren’s only reply SF ch7

>She straightened her spine and raised her chin. Keep reaching out your hand. Cassian shrugged ... SF ch8

>Cassian yielded to instinct and movement and breath, only dimly aware of the female watching from that rock. Keep reaching out your hand. SF ch8

>Amren had been wrong. Keep reaching out your hand was utter bullshit when the person it was extended to could bite hard enough to rip off fingers. SF ch11

>He extended his hand. One last time. Keep reaching out your hand. “A bargain.” SF ch12

>He added a shade softly, “Keep reaching out your hand.” So Nesta did. Every afternoon when she arrived at the library, she checked the list. SF ch17

>Day after day after day. Keep reaching out your hand, Cassian had told her. But what would it matter, she began to wonder, if no one bothered to reach back? SF ch17

Because why do we see how atrociously it's done in Cassian's POV, who just repeated Amren's words while constantly whining (Did I mention already he shouldn't be Nesta's caretaker? With such thin patience I don't know how he can do his own job.). And why it's so perfectly done in Nesta's POV. You can't just ignore the parallel.

Nesta was actively pushed to do something she didn't want to. She was insulted and stripped from her comfort zone, and when she reacted with expected pushback, she was insulted more.

And for the priestesses, Nesta does this in a respectful manner, giving them space, letting them show initiative. When she feels that maybe it's not enough to just wait, she doesn't threaten them, nor does she push them. She thinks about what could reassure them that it's a good idea, and she does the demonstration in a way that doesn't make the priestesses uncomfortable. And she was ready to accept their refusal.

They call Nesta a bitch, yet she is the most considerate out of them.

Okay, so it's a recurring opinion under posts critical toward Nessian/Cassian: "You don't get them"; "Their love story is actually so good and realistic"; "You just expected something that would've been uncharacteristic of Nesta and Cassian."

While this may be true in some cases, there are a lot of people who rooted for Nessian since MAF-people who like good banter, who like this dynamic of the jokester guy and goth girl. Golden retriever and black cat (by the way, the manhwa "This Marriage Will Fail Anyways" is a good example of this dynamic). But in SF, the magic just faded away. Maybe not for everyone, but we can't deny there's a big rift in the fandom post SF.

Is it because we see real struggle and can't deal with it? Is it because they are so realistic and people expect perfect protagonists? Or is it because their story isn't actually good at all?

The smut is cringe and excessive.

Proximity is ensured in controversial ways, which are shown as needed for mental healing. If I read mafia romance and it's a forced marriage or kidnapping trope, then I know it's illegal. The FMC, the author, everyone knows it. The narrative doesn't tell me it's done for the heroine's own good, and she doesn't thank the MMC at the end for having her life ravaged.

And all the potential of this proximity was lost in vain to have more smut and more training and more Nesta humiliation.

The story itself doesn't even need big changes; it could be focused on the same topics, it just needs a different execution.

And sincerely, this hot take applies to the majority of cases when someone is eager to brush off critique with "you just don't get it." No, believe me, I get it, but there are reasons why I'm frustrated with X, Y, Z. With a slightly different execution, I would not have a problem, and the series could've been perfect as I really like the ideas of these books. But it feels like being very hungry, ordering a food that looks delicious on the menu. It looks normal in reality, but you taste it and there's something—a texture, a condiment—and suddenly the entire dish just became bad.