I need help.
For starters, this is a post about me seeking mental and moral guidance. Please help.
I’ve spent 3.5 years in community college due to financial reasons, and unsure about engineering to begin with, and nervous about the class load feeling like i won’t have enough time to work or have a social life. I graduated December 2025 with a 3.7 gpa with an associates in engineering science and a campus job on my resume, a few classes like diff eq really kicked my butt and I somehow got lucky and passed with a B because of curves (I went almost 2 times a week to office hours and made it clear to my prof I don’t know anything).
Fast forward now to the end of spring 2026 semester I just finished my first semester of university pursuing electrical engineering. I took an ac circuits analysis course where i had a professor I couldn’t understand both her speaking or handwriting and I was BY MYSELF IN THIS CLASS JUST ME. Every assignment I did I relied on ChatGPT to guide me and while it did help me it wasn’t enough for me to learn. This professor ended up giving me 100s on every assignment including the final and projects and she really messed up my whole perception of myself (mind you I took dc circuits analysis and passed with an A and had a great professor and group of friends to study with).
The more I think about it I also realized how much of my previous years at CC I also forgot (many calc things and few other topics) just because it’s been a few years of using some formulas. I also realized how lazy of student I was and because of how AI I use to help with homework. I’ve been in a downwards spiral about my self-esteem and cry a lot and cannot let it go once I start thinking about how I think I fucked up my schooling. I feel like my imposter syndrome is at its peak. I feel like I also chose the wrong school to pursue EE since its program is new and I’ve made no EE friends at campus.
I don’t wanna quit because I feel I’m too far in to stop, I’ve told my mom how awful I recently felt and she says I need to calm down because eventually it will all work out in the end. I have a passion to be an engineer but I don’t want to be a failure to my parents who’ve tried their hardest to give me a better life than they have. My biggest fear right now is to be a failure to them.
I think I’m a good student and I know I can do it. I’m spending my summer relearning AC circuits by downloading all the class material and watching YouTube videos and getting some math review in too.
Can someone please tell me if im fine, overreacting a lot, or cooked?