I'm flying tomorrow, it's a long journey, and I'm petrified.
From the time I leave the house to the time I get to the house on the other side, it's going to be roughly 22-24hrs. Two flights and a layover. An hour's drive on each side.
For the past few weeks I have been utterly convinced that I will get a blood clot while flying and die on the plane. I literally feel like an insane person! I'm pale and have veiny legs, and now of course my brain has convinced me that my veiny thigh looks extra veiny and has been feeling weird the last couple days, and I can't even tell if it actually is or isn't.
I try to avoid reading about these things at all costs, but sometimes I'm scrolling and they show up before I can scroll by. I'm so afraid of aneurysms or blood clots or strokes, and it's made worse by being stuck in a plane for hours on hours. I saw a cardiologist a month or two ago just for a check up, and he said my heart was perfectly healthy, but it still gave me no peace of mind.
My dr prescribed me some valium for the journey, but I've never taken it before and I don't know if I want to try it for the first time on a long journey.
It sounds ridiculous, but this anxiety spiral has been so bad that I'm literally sitting here considering writing out my passwords and a goodbye letter, just in case it happens 🙈 I feel sick and I just want the journey to be over already.