I think I jumped timelines in 2020
I’m 26F and when I was 19 I got in a really bad car crash that left EMTs speechless. Ever since that day I feel as if I’m a completely different person. I was top of my class and had a full ride to college, and now I am an addict in recovery who can’t seem to stay sober. I was one the phone with my parents and they heard the whole thing. I was going 80 and got cutoff by another vehicle; I overcorrected and immediately knew I wasn’t going to live. I remembered in that moment that people who are limp in car accidents have better chances of survival, so I just closed my eyes and felt myself fall asleep. The next thing I know I am waking up to the wind being knocked out of me and my car upside down completely mangled and on fire. I was unscathed. I don’t understand and I think about it everyday. I have also overdosed at least a dozen times in remote areas and somehow always wake up to an ambulance hours later. I have also made multiple attempts on my life, and somehow I fall from the (ya know) each time. I know people say stuff like “it must not be your time” but I find that to be bullshit. I am okay with death I just feel as if I keep cheating it. I lost my best friend to an overdose in 2023 while we were together and I just wish the crash I had ended differently. Survivor’s guilt I guess. Does life get any easier? Attached a couple photos from the crash