need honest opinions
Hi everyone. I’m from India, and I’m posting because my family and I are honestly very scared and confused right now. I’m hoping to hear from anyone who has gone through something similar with a parent or loved one.
My dad is 50 years old and has stage 4 HER2-negative stomach cancer. He was diagnosed around Sept/Oct 2025, and at the time of diagnosis the cancer had already spread to his liver, so it was stage 4 from the beginning.
He completed 8 cycles of CAPEOX chemo (capecitabine + oxaliplatin). Unfortunately, instead of improving, his recent scans showed progressive disease.
His current scan/report shows:
Large stomach mass still present
Multiple liver metastases in both lobes of the liver
Enlarged lymph nodes around the stomach/liver area
Mild ascites/fluid in the abdomen
Largest liver lesion around 12 x 9 cm
Report says “progressive disease”
Right now his symptoms are:
black stools/bleeding
stomach and side pain
severe weakness and fatigue
numbness/loss of sensation in hands and legs from chemo neuropathy
cough that worsens the abdominal pain
Even with all this, he is still eating, walking, talking normally, and mentally fully present. He’s weak, but he’s still himself.
Today they gave him radiation to help with the bleeding and pain.
Now the doctors have asked our family to make a decision. They said they can either:
try a much stronger chemo,
or
stop aggressive treatment and focus on comfort care.
We asked the oncologist honestly what he would do if this was his own family member, and he said he would personally try the chemo because my dad is still only 50 and still functioning.
I know nobody here can predict outcomes, but I really need honest experiences from people who have seen similar cases:
Did second-line chemo help?
Was it worth it?
Did radiation help with pain/bleeding?
Has anyone seen good responses from immunotherapy after chemo stopped working?
How do you know when to keep fighting versus focusing only on comfort?
I think we’re all terrified of making the wrong decision.
Thank you so much to anyone who reads this or replies.