Had BM’s FB messenger log-in info on my phone after we broke up and constantly looked at her messages from my phone. Have I done anything illegal? (Chicago, IL)
TL;DR
Had access to Ex GF/BM’s Facebook Messenger DM’s after I found login info in her notes.
She gave me access to her phone and pin prior to breakup and vice verse, so I used the opportunity to get messenger info to know if she says anything to family/friends regarding our child
(Prior to the breakup, she was about 5 months pregnant and had been using 10 years of past drama to justify breakup and keep our newborn child away as she “didn’t want to bring our child into our drama and was better off” (despite us agreeing to stick together for the baby’s sake.)
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In December of 2024, When an ex (5 months pregnant) lived with me in El Paso, TX, then we went to visit her family in Chicago, IL, she had then decided she wanted to stay with her sister in that city rather than fly back to TX with me.
Prior to us flying to IL, we had been slowly adjusting for a future with our new baby.
(every doctors appointment possible, plans for our baby’s future, etc)
We were excited at first until ex gf/baby mama began to become hesitant at the prospect of us being together as a family unit.
(despite us agreeing to stay together as a family unit) then later admitted she didn’t want us to really be under the same roof when the baby is born because she didn’t want our baby to “watch us fight and argue”
(We were always in an on/off relationship for 10 years and had really noticed once we found out she was pregnant and I felt guilty, so I did everything I could to make things up with her for the past; dinner, gifts, a couple nights in a nice hotel, etc)
(TL;DR IT NEVER MATTERED)
When she slowly became more passive aggressive, dismissive, and uninterested in me (physically, emotionally, and romantically), I tried to bring it up to her, but she always dismissed her cold behavior and refused to talk
(At first, I reasoned it down to her pregnancy hormones, but her complete change of personality caught me off guard and I felt like it became an uphill battle, from there)
I tried to break up with her after an argument, one day; Not only because I was tired of how she was treating me, but also because she’s told me (in person and over text) that she was “more of the baby’s parent than I was, and that the baby didn’t need me and neither did she.”
In retaliation, she told me she was just going to move out of state with family and refuse to let me see our baby; there, I had no choice but to apologize, knowing she now had leverage over me in the form of our unborn child and my potential future with him.
When her sister in Chicago, IL, learned of the news of my BM being pregnant, she offered her and I a space at her place to visit for Christmas and to see her sister again, being happy she’s going to be a mommy.
When BM decided she could start anew in IL with her sisters help and get government assistance and my child support money in the future, she broke up with me and admitted she didn’t intend to come back to TX.
Nowadays, I’m trying to fight for partial custody/visitations since she ghosted me on every platform, blocked my number, and sent me a letter through her attorney basically saying she won’t give me ANY parenting time with our son.
I knew BM was going to gossip between family/friends about all this and probably straight up admit she never wanted us together as a family, but needed proof; I went into her phone and looked in her notes app and found her Facebook messenger login info and took a photo with my phone and logged in from my phone.
At first, her messages consisted of her explaining the situation and venting about me, but then I find texts between her and her family, encouraging her to just get child support from me but not let me see our child, saying I don’t deserve to see him and I’m still financially obligated to help, as the father.
She had also said, herself, she didn’t want to be around me at all and didn’t think I deserve to see my son, either.
She also has made mentions of suspicious actions that I thought would’ve justified my actions
> She mentioned taking our infant son out in a stroller and walking to the local library a few days of the week while it was 50 degrees out in snowy December 2025 IL, as she hated being at home for too long (she didnt have a job, she had SSI and government assistance, so she didn’t feel the need to get a job)
> She made mention of wanting to live with mother in CO who still lives with stepfather who SA’d her multiple times as a teenager yet still calls him daddy and respects him more than her actual father, a much better man.
(The state even separated her from her mother because of it and she always grieved about being separated from her mother, but failed to hold her mother accountable for dating a PDF and refusing to break up with him, even to this day!)
> She’s made mention of her apartment being extremely messy between her sister, even got scolded over it by her sister, saying the baby could get taken away from her for it
I took screenshots of the conversations mentioning all this, but didn’t think I could use it in any way, but I still had proof that BM was making some pretty questionable decisions and it made me concerned for my baby.
Eventually, I lost the ability to log in, so I think she may have figured out I was logging in, probably even saw I was logging in from TX.
In case she takes screenshots of this and gives this to her attorney, is she able to make a case this?
Is she able to use this in court, against me during a hearing for custody/visitations of my child?
Thank you again for all your responses.