When the brain resets. A story of mental clarity.
A few minutes ago I was reading a story on reddit about someone going bikecamping. They wanted to quit during a very long portion of their trip. They pushed forward and described a mental switch. A reset that happened.
I have a friend who has started full day fasts and one of the first things he asked me was "I don't know what my body will do when I don't eat". This made me pause for a bit before, as I never really thought of it that way.
This subreddit brings together those who do regular fasts, with those who are on the cusp of starting and are slowly wading in. Many of you probably have these same questions. It is absolutely crucial to ask them, just like my friend did.
I am no doctor. This is all anecdotal.
I started fasting to battle my binging nature. My calorie intake during the week would be fine. I'd do intermittent fasting (16/8, 20/4) Monday through Thursday. My problem was those 4 or 8 hours of eating, and my weekend intake. I'd feel like I've "earned" the right to eat. Id eat everything in the fridge, and justified it as "I'm gonna fast again tomorrow anyway". Friday through Sunday, I'd eat regular hours. This went on for two years.
The scale would not move.
I was losing my mind. I thought I was doing everything right!
For a binge eater like me, food is looked at as a way to quiet the noise in my head. It would be loud and constant. And when I'm making, heating, or opening a package of food, I'd feel that noise just go away. In fact, I could focus on whatever tasks I did or wanted to do. "after I finish this bag of chips, I'm gonna mow the lawn"
Ofcourse that bag of chips was followed by microwaving last night's pasta, eating some of my daughters snacks, and so on and so on. And now there's more noise. I feel worse and lethargic. But again, I'll make it up to myself by going back to IF on Monday.
When I started full day fasts, it was more anger than curiosity. That's why my friends question made me pause. He was curious what his body would do if he doesn't eat. I was punishing my body by not eating.
I started on Sunday night. Last meal was 8pm. I fasted all day Monday. The hardest part was 5pm-7pm. It almost felt like the noise was the loudest. Then came the mental reset. That clarity.
I walked into the bathroom on the Tuesday and it was as if I could feel a light breeze. I turned the shower on, and I felt the water hit me. I felt the force of water, and I felt the heat. I dried off and felt the noise of the towel against my skin. I still hadn't clocked any of this consciously, but my brain was sending me these messages. I shower in dim lighting, because I like to wake up slowly. I turned the light brighter and I felt this sudden rush of feelings when I looked at myself in the mirror. I remember thinking "so this is the other side".
The noise in my head was gone. All my tasks were clearly defined in my head. The unfulfilled feelings and needs from yesterday were left in the past, and all I had left were today's goals. From simple things like getting ready for work, taking the dog out, cleaning the cat litter, to planning what I have to get done when I come home from work. Grocery run, yard work, budgeting and financial stuff. All we're laid out in front of me. All I had to was walk forward.
The mental clarity I felt was the closest thing to a spiritual moment I've ever felt. I wish I could bottle it and show everyone, but like most good things, it has to be experienced, rather than described. So hopefully my description is enough for now :).
Two things have happened since I started full day fasts. One - my binging as stopped because I physically don't want to do it anymore. My stomach hurts when I eat more. In the past I'd have to eat an entire lasagna before feeling any sort of discomfort or pain. Two - the "want" for food before or after tasks, is gone. My body doesn't need food as a motivator, or reward anymore.
If you have any questions, feel free to ask. Again I'm not a doctor. Just going on personal experience.