I was tortured for 12 hours in shroom hell
I took shrooms 3 months ago, extremely strong ones.
I have taken shrooms, LSD many times before.
I’ve taken 4g of some strains of psilocybin mushrooms before, and that was nothing compared to this trip. I am an experienced drug user and was taking these with another experienced drug user.
I won’t go into detail trying to explain what ego death and what an insane dose of psychedelics feels like but my trip was 12 hours long of the most intense and horrible, long lasting, painful, excruciating hallucinations I have ever experienced.
We took 3 grams of my buddies home grown albino penis envy. First time anyone had taken them.
The first couple hours were amazing, incredibly intense for 3 grams. I’ve taken 4 grams that were less than half as strong as the first 3 was and honestly this should have been the point we realized any stronger is gonna get bad.
We didn’t
2 hours in we took another 2 grams and it was the nail in the coffin.
The double dose fucked us.
my friend said these were by far the strongest mushrooms he has ever taken. Like twice if not three times as strong as stuff sold in stores in like Amsterdam and the average mushroom a college kid takes.
An hour after we take the second dose shit started to get really fucking insane. Not bad yet but really fucking crazy. That’s when we realized we were fucked.
We wanted it to stop by now and we had no idea we would be fucked for the next 9 hours.
Shrooms usually lasts for 3-4 hours, and I swear to you it lasted 12 hours and it was intense for probably 11 of those hours. Idc if anyone believes me or not but it did.
I’m talking 10 hours into the trip and on the come down I am still experiencing what most people would consider “peak trip” on a regular “2-3 gram dose” that many experienced drug users take recreationally.
The bad part was about 5-6 hours long and the really scary part was about 3 hours long.
It was a nightmare. Sound was twisted music was no longer discernible. It was the most fear I have ever felt.
There is no word but insane to describe the absolute fucking terribly intense overwhelming scary time I had.
3:14 am was the worst, that minute felt like an actual hour long
It was the most insane horrible experience of my life. It was unexplainable how fucking traumatic this was to me. It made me cry after, it made me think I was going to die. I felt my entire body and consciousness being sucked into a point in my stomach and I repeated happy words out loud to avoid falling unconscious and I assume dying.
No “trip simulation” video online will ever come close to what I experienced.
There was no escaping it, I pleaded for it to be over and puked up the alcohol in my stomach while falling through time unaware of my surroundings and who I was. I was in complete psychosis and I kept thinking I was hurting myself.
There was no distinguishing the warping hallucinations of reptilian swarms and bubbles that bended the air around them from reality. It was not like a regular trip. The bad part had no fractals, no cool patterns, no vibrant colors radiating off. It was dark and green and wet and cold and painful. It was disgusting and evil and full of hate and fear. I thought I was in hell.
If i believed in hell I would be a model Christian after that.
I can think of nothing, no torture, no punishment or execution that would be worse than what I experienced. If I were given the choice to die right now or go through that again I would die right now.
I have nightmares and can’t sleep. I can’t think some days and it makes me extremely anxious. I’ve tried fixing bad things in my life to make myself happier but it doesn’t work. There is this hell in the back of my mind that my conscious slips into and I get stuck in a horrible painful loop of thinking and remembering horrible details from the trip.
At one point I was hyperventilating and spasming on the ground while begging my friends to make it stop.
I know people say mushrooms aren’t gonna kill you but I would beg to differ. If I had let myself succumb to that hole my entire self was being pulled into (which I believe was the edge of consciousness) I think I never would have woken up.
I want to forget this, I want to not know there is things that horrible, I want to be free of the fear of being eternally plagued by this glimpse into my psychotic past.
I can try to describe in the comments more of what I experienced if anyone is curious. It helps me to talk about this I haven’t talked to anyone.