Lawyers with ADHD, how do you cope?
I (F26) have been admitted for 2 years and am working in MVA litigation for a relatively big firm. I'm still in my probation period and already have about 100 files to my name. Many of those files were inherited from others who left things in bad shape, so it's a lot of stress and scrambling to fix things.
I work 10+ hours every day, which I know objectively isn't bad in the legal industry. But I have unmedicated ADHD (none of the medications I tried worked for me) and it's really beating me down. I used to be able to supplement my low dopamine and get by with stress eating junk food and using any spare time I had to game, but it made me overweight and I started having back and leg issues from being so sedentary.
So now I'm on a strict calorie deficit and getting in 12k steps a day. On weekends, I hike and properly meal prep and see friends (I'm also trying to be more social despite being a mega introvert). As a result, I now only have about half an hour to game/indulge in other hobbies on weekdays and half a day on weekends. It's not nearly enough for my dopamine-starved brain, so I end up staying up late every night revenge procrastinating. But that then makes me so exhausted that I can barely get up some mornings.
I'm burnt out. I don't know how much longer I can do this. I used to play so many different games, have so many online friends, have hobbies like music production and making covers of songs, but I've had to throw away everything for work and barely feel human anymore. It's like the only purpose for my existence is to wake up and kill myself to line a firm's pockets, then spend the rest of my meagre time doing the basics to keep myself alive and healthy.
I have literally no ambition at all. Sure, it would be nice to make associate and SA, but if it comes with more responsibility and worse hours it's a pass for me. I just want to take home a payslip and have the space to actually live my own life.
So, lawyers with ADHD (especially in high volume litigation), how do you survive in this space and still feel like you have a fulfilling life? I would appreciate any tips because I feel like I'm drowning here.