u/ask4abs

Loretta Chase. Knave's wager. Solid start. If you know you know ..

My problem, ugh... Pain and discomfort that is making it difficult to relax (literally sitting, reclining, lying down are all uncomfortable right now).

Do I dnf FOR NOW and switch to a book that's easier to take in... Or do I keep going? I have Grace Callaway cued up. Happy to look at other recs for now.

Hopefully I won't be in this for long and I can cozy up with a book for more than 10 minutes at a time.

How do you choose what to read in a circumstance like this?

Signed,

Uncomfortable

PS: audiobooks don't work for me!

Hey all

I've had lower back disc bulges, herniation, and ddd for over ten years now. I've successfully managed to maintain a mostly pain free and active lifestyle.

One thing I've noticed is that glute/hamstring work gets into my back which then needs a little babying (it gets tight in response. I heat and continue stretches during this time) and make sure I give myself adequate recovery time between leg day.

I've had to slowly work my way from yoga to lifting weights with a gradual increase in intensity and load, for example.

Recently, I was diagnosed with a hip labral tear and during the course of rehab, I was told to do isometric single leg bridges daily. After about a week of this (and declining reps, tbh, maybe I should have paid attention to this!), I exploded in pain around my sit bones which has localized to my back (with accompanying stiffness).

All this to say, I'm now in a little bit of a chicken-and-egg situation between my hip and spine.

I'm learning all I can about surgery in both areas, and so here I am asking for a 101 on spine surgery. I've done a little reading in this subreddit and don't see any pinned posts, so thought I'd ask:

What's the difference between an orthopedic spine surgeon and a neuro spine surgeon? Do they typically offer different surgeries? What are the typically surgery options where discs are involved in the ways I mentioned (bulging, herniating, ddd).

Admittedly, I haven't learned a ton about this stuff in all this time, because I thought I was managing just fine! Now I'm wondering if my back is holding up glute strength, and whether I should look at surgery options at this point so my glutes can do what they need to better manage my hip labral tear (it's a small nondisplaced superior anterior tear, and I'm not sure I want to pursue arthroscopy for it). This recent flare has me wondering and I'd like to understand the basics as I proceed.

Diagnosed anterior superior nondisplaced tear in left hip with MRI. I'm in my 40s. PT should help, right?

It's been one flare after another, sometimes life, sometimes PT that is too aggressive... And now I'm looking at piriformis syndrome from overuse (daily rehab exercises including single leg bridges which were the most challenging on my bad side) combined with a fair bit of sitting as I recovered from a trip.

How do you deal with these flare ups and scaling back and fine tuning and trying something else?

More specifically, how do the issues presented by piriformis syndrome interact with trying to rehab to better support the labral tear?

I'm seeing my PT literally within an hour here, but wanted to post and see if others have gone through the same...

MRI without contrast shows nondisplaced superior anterior labral tear with a 6mm cyst. There were no chondral issues detected or anything else concerning, but the MRI was without contrast.

Pain started 6 months ago and gradually worsened in spite of PT to the point of sitting/sleeping/walking is painful never mind wanting to get back to my squat and lunge depth etc. I'm 44.

I've had no other medical interventions though I'm curious about prp/prolotherapy. I'm less keen on steroids or nsaids.

PT exercises and other work don't cause me so much bother during as after so it's often hard to tell when and if I should stop, but the main thing that does onset pain pretty quickly is sitting. I get burning pain, sharp when trying to put my hip in positions it doesn't like (flexion or internal/external rotation), and dull as well. At the worst of times, it hurts when walking and I'll even be limping, but the walking does seem to help overall and the limp/pain will subside.

Mostly, the pain is local to the front of my hip and groin, but at its worst I feel it wrap around into my glute and down my inner thigh/hamstring/knee.. I've managed low back pain for years, unsure if related, and I've recently started having urge incontinence that I'm receiving pelvic floor therapy for with a suspected stage 1/2 prolapse. Again, unsure if related but I've seen both these mentioned in conjunction with hip pain, so mentioning it here as well.

Doc now agrees that following 6 months of conservative care and not seeing any improvements, we should consider surgery. This is coming from my primary after hearing from Ortho to basically just manage the pain (I suspect this is because he himself no longer does surgeries).

Anyway. I have a referral pending to another ortho, and I'd like to know what I need to ask so I don't miss anything crucial. (I think I should ask if an MRI with contrast would be helpful prior to surgery, but unsure. I'm nervous they'll get in and see things that will lead to later complications). Primary (DO) seems to think that arthroscopy now will prevent further complications/hip replacement later. This is my understanding as well, but is there a variation to this I'm not aware of? We're looking at arthroscopy in left hip. DO thinks that they'll repair with no debridement (not sure what this means exactly but putting it out here to potentially learn something/anything)

Anyone with similar tear/issue that got arthroscopy, and how did it go??

MRI without contrast shows nondisplaced superior anterior labral tear with a 6mm cyst. There were no chondral issues detected or anything else concerning, but the MRI was without contrast. I'm 44.

Pain started 6 months ago and gradually worsened in spite of PT to the point of sitting/sleeping/walking is painful never mind wanting to get back to my squat and lunge depth etc.

(ETA:

No interventions besides PT. PT exercises and other work don't cause me so much bother during as after so it's often hard to tell when to stop, but the main thing that does onset pain pretty quickly is sitting. I get burning pain, sharp when trying to put my hip in positions it doesn't like (flexion or internal/external rotation), and dull as well. At the worst of times, it hurts when walking and I'll even be limping, but the walking does seem to help overall and the limp/pain will subside.

Mostly, the pain is local to the front of my hip and groin, but at its worst I feel it wrap around into my glute and down my inner thigh/hamstring/knee.. I've managed low back pain for years, unsure if related, and I've recently started having urge incontinence that I'm receiving pelvic floor therapy for with a suspected stage 1/2 prolapse. Again, unsure if related but I've seen both these mentioned in conjunction with hip pain, so mentioning it here as well.)

Doc now agrees that following 6 months of conservative care and not seeing any improvements, we should consider surgery. This is coming from my primary after hearing from Ortho to basically just manage the pain (I suspect this is because he himself no longer does surgeries).

Anyway. I have a referral pending to another ortho, and I'd like to know what I need to ask so I don't miss anything crucial. (I think I should ask if an MRI with contrast would be helpful prior to surgery, but unsure. I'm nervous they'll get in and see things that will lead to later complications). Primary (DO) seems to think that arthroscopy now will prevent further complications/hip replacement later. This is my understanding as well, but is there a variation to this I'm not aware of? We're looking at arthroscopy in left hip. DO thinks that they'll repair with no debridement (not sure what this means exactly but putting it out here to potentially learn something/anything)

Anyone with similar tear/issue that got arthroscopy, and how did it go??

Those of you that shout-out "twin gorillas" any chance you can get...

I don't remember seeing any mentions of {waking up with the duke by Lorraine Heath}, but I fully believe it should come with a cautionary warning.

Technically, there's no cheating, and while I don't feel good about it, I don't generally avoid stories with this! So to be left with major ick feelings and a "wish I'd skipped this one". Never have I ever regretted reading a book.

It's not the writing! Lorraine Heath typically wins me over even when there are story elements that don't do it for me, but this one absolutely was not it for me. To think I almost skipped the second book to rush and read Ainsley's story omgaaaahhhhh

I didn't feel comfortable at most any point reading this story and I finished it feeling sick to my stomach. Does this plot work for anyone??

That said, the MMCs character was charming and gentlemanly (for the most part). Any recs with similar MMCs?

I'm hopping over to {the Raven Prince by Elizabeth hoyt} as a palate cleanser. Hopefully it does the trick, as I tend to go in mostly blind, but just had to release a quick vent first..

ETA PS: nope, never mind. I need to give it a day before I try to jump into another story. Waking up with the duke is being a little haunt-y

The series is called {London's greatest lovers by Lorraine Heath}.

First book {passions of a wicked earl by Lorraine Heath} -- I should have hated it and I plan to do a separate post about it but my love for the story actually overrode the hate. It was a solid read and I devoured it in one day.

Unfortunately, I looked ahead to the second book to see what to expect (I should have gone in blind like with the first one... ) and now I'm like oh noooo I'm going to hate it. I read reviews thinking it might help and I would see something favorable but nope...

First book had OW drama (which I hate) and other stuff I won't go into.. yet I loved the book

Based on this... What are the chances that I will enjoy the second?

I'd thought about skipping ahead to the 3rd which I NEVER do...

But now that I have the second book, I'd like to try and get my mind in a neutral place at least so I don't go in with prejudgments. I shouldn't have read the reviews, but oh well...

Is there anyone here that enjoyed this one? {Pleasures of a notorious gentleman by Lorraine Heath}. I've read another amnesia trope by her and I normally hate them, but again, loved the characters and the story. What can I expect of this one?

First, there was vaginal dryness. And clit shrinking/not feeling pleasure.

Ugh, and ugh. Fixed, and fixed.

Then comes this hell that is urge incontinence. Excuse me, what? And triggered by sexual/vaginal stimulation? The bidet, cleaning myself in the shower (excuse the TMI, and no I don't use soap down there!), and stimulation in the bedroom.

I've been referred for pelvic floor therapy. I have the vaginal estradiol cream. I've been doing kegels (which have helped a bit, but still get urge incontinence and in particular with penetration like wtfuhhhh...) Just trying to have a healthy sex life, all things considered, but my body keeps throwing up roadblocks

Mainly sharing to rant, but didn't see in my search that anybody addressed this in particular and my primary was like "Oh. Hmm. Huh." Urogyno may be a referral down the line, but pelvic floor therapy and estradiol for now... (Also, does this stuff stay in? Am I the only one that can't keep tampons in to save my life? Is this indicative of some other issue that also needs addressing??)

Kthx for reading. And for any insights you can offer!

As a follow up to my previous post, I'd like to better understand HRT as an option so I can identify questions to ask providers, have a better understanding for expectations, that kind of thing.

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To be clear, I am pursuing comprehensive testing to rule out (or in) other diagnoses for my pain.

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In the meantime, I'm trying to better understand the world of HRT as best I can.

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Would anyone be willing to share their experiences of trying HRT for joint pain? Either successfully or unsuccessfully.

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I'm curious about how dosage is determined, what the journey looked like, what to look for in a provider/clinic, maybe even costs involved.. what were the side effects, if any, along the way?

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For those that tried it and it didn't work, why do you think that is? Has something else worked instead? How do you manage the pain (or other symptoms affecting quality of life, because dear God...)

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For obvious reasons, the hrt experience can differ from person to person. So I'd like to hear from different people rather than consume a standardized article, but I am open to reading an easy-to-follow book on the topic if anyone has any recs along these lines. (Or people to follow on IG)

I'm 44.

Over the last few months... I've gone from being an active person, working out 3-5x a week, to working out 1x a week. Mainly due to joint pain and recovery time. There are things I simply haven't been able to do in a while like squats or most things engaging the glutes/quads (investigating a possible hip issue getting in my way; a tear or impingement) or dead hangs (wrist/shoulder pain).

(ETA: never mind dead hangs, so much of daily life activities are compromised due to joint pain across wrists, shoulders, knees...)

My workouts have shifted from incorporating strength training and cardio to mostly yoga/pilates and even then I get an increase in symptoms.

Over time, I'm working out less as a result.

Today is the 2nd day of my cycle and I will be tracking my symptoms moving forward. I have started dialogue with my primary about hrt related options, but my primary question here is something else:

Does the joint pain eventually go away, and I'll be able to resume the level of activity I enjoy and need for optimal health? Does it get worse without supporting activity to keep strength up? Is it a catch-22 and this is where life humbles me real fast (I feel it already has; I struggle with depression over how hard and hopeless this feels)

I started working out in my 20s primarily to avoid being like my mum who is in her 80s, not mobile etc etc .. have my efforts been in vain? Will they stand me in good stead to some degree?

I'm thinking about starting work with a personal trainer, but I need guidance on what to look for so that I can actually get stronger across the board and not cause myself further pain... Any insights along these lines would help as well.

Thank you

Thought this could be a cool list idea!

I'm starting my reread of {her baseborn bridegroom by Alice Coldbreath} and I'm already eagerly anticipating the >!ever-increasing number of kids they need to have for Mason to be satisfied!<

I'd love to hear the kick-and-giggle-worthy bits you look forward to on a reread, and thought we could gather a list of recs based on the kind of detail that might not otherwise get a shout-out.

Jeremy has it down BAD for Emmie, huh? (For anyone who enjoys this, check out this one if only for that breakfast table scene lol)

The book in general isn't doing it for me (though I'm close to done; about the 90% mark), and I know there are people out here who love their MMCs having it bad for the FMC.

I'd love to hear how those people enjoyed this book?

Separately, for those people who also didn't really enjoy this one -- I'd love to hear from you as well.

I'm trying to figure out my feelings around this book in the wider context of Coldbreath's Victorian stories vs the Karadok world.

Wow.

I was not expecting to enjoy this series as much as I did, mainly because prizefighters are not my vibe. (Then I realized, well, not so dissimilar to the knights of karadok?)

The setting for each one for so unique and well-painted. I felt fully immersed in the narrative and setting without the prose being too purply.

The first is likely my least favorite, with the second ranking most favorite (possibly all-time favorite Coldbreath read so far! What is not to like about Ben and Lizzie), and the third falls somewhere in between. Something about the way Clem was written -- the fleshed out interiority, maybe, didn't quite vibe the same as many other MMCs written by Coldbreath.

The spice in this series -- holy hell. Are her other books in the same vein? I'm not remembering as such, but maybe I need to reread. I normally just skim right over spicy scenes, but that was not the case with this series!

I would love to go back and read Vawdrey Brothers/Brides of Karadok because I really appreciated (iirc) the MMC interiority just not being explained so much. And I remember someone saying one time that they didn't understand Mason being super into Linnet but those actions/words speak for themselves?! And this is a big part of what I enjoy of Coldbreath's MMCs.

I don't know. I'm struggling to articulate the difference between Clem and other MMCs; maybe someone here could help? In the meantime, a reread of the other books might help me with this as well.

Does anyone know if other books are in the pipeline for this series? Because I would just luuuuuurve that. I need more!

I can't for the life of me remember the writer or book.

I believe it was part of a series.

The duke has a sister (who is somewhat estranged from her errant husband, and they later had a book of their own).

The duke is using the finds from his property to display in a museum open to the public.

The archaeologist FMC is considered plain and dowdy. She was raised in Italy, and I think she wore glasses? Unsure. Her father was contracted to originally work with the duke; he passed and she journeyed over to England to take his place (since she had no other options).

She's crushing on His Grace. She overhears the duke disparage her looks to his sister, and resolves (after shedding some tears) to not GAF about what he thinks. This shift in attitude grabs his attention and thus begins their love story...

There's a scene with spicy mosaic tiles lol

Is this enough? It's about all I remember! Help!

Our (American) kids have access to residency/uni pathways in both the UK and Canada (UK via me; they have dual citizenship, and Canada via dad and pending similar there with Canada's recent bill C3).

As we look towards exiting America (and my kids move towards graduating high school in the States with an eye towards uni outside of this country hopefully leading towards building a life anywhere but here), my question is this:

Which country for uni aspects? What kind of factors do we want to consider?

The tentative plan is for kiddos to take a gap year or two to familiarize with either UK/Canada prior to starting uni there. I have an idea on tuition/accommodation costs/prerequisites for the UK, but not for Canada, and I'm fairly clueless on most anything else that might be relevant having lived in America for 20 years.

Would their local high school be able to offer any counseling support with regards to this as they progress through their high school years? Kids are currently in grades 8 and 10.

And for this community at large, would appreciate any and all insights comparing uni/career prospects across the UK and Canada. (I recently saw a post about accessing uni for cheap at top universities in Europe; I do believe predominantly non-english speaking countries may present an additional barrier to adjusting, but am open to considering any option tbh. One aspect I appreciate about both the UK or Canada is that at least one parent has easy access to visit/stay as needed.)

PS: total aside and not needing discussion: is there a subreddit geared towards international families? There's not one country that the 4 of us are citizens to and with recent anti immigrant sentiment rising around the world, I have concerns for the future. I do plan to get my American citizenship here soon, but reluctantly as I'm not sure it would actually help (my skin color doesn't help either)

Thanks in advance!

We're looking at relocating to Scotland with 14 and 16yr old kids. They're homeschooled and we work remote so location is not too much of an issue, but one thing I thought might be nice is if uni down the road for them was, well, down the road.

I understand Glasgow has 3 unis, and we're being encouraged to look there.

I wanted to ask here and determine:

Where should we be looking to maximize chances of kids being able to stay at home while going to uni?

I'm also not familiar with the student loan situation -- repayment terms, etc (in case it becomes relevant; I've been out of the country for a good long while and even longer since I was in uni myself); if anyone could share resources to help me get acclimated on that front, I'd appreciate it.

Thanks!