u/bbrachelle

If you’re reading this one day, I hope you’ll read it with an open heart. I don’t expect everyone to agree with everything I believed, but I do hope you’ll understand why I spent my life searching for answers.
I’ve always felt different.
Ever since I was a little girl, I felt like I didn’t belong here. I was obsessed with Marilyn Monroe. I watched every documentary I could find, not because she was simply famous, but because something deep inside me felt connected to her story. I used to tell everyone, over and over again, “I’m going to be famous.” I was only nine years old, and somehow that feeling never left me.
As I got older, I began wondering whether the feelings I carried were connected to something much bigger than myself. I came to believe that perhaps we carry pieces of ourselves from one lifetime into another. I wondered whether the deep connection I felt to Marilyn Monroe meant something more I literally thought I was her when I was a child and when I started drinking alcohol, all of that went away. I’ve been sober for two years now from alcohol and it’s all coming back to me.
I also came to wonder recently, whether my mother had somehow carried the memories of President John F. Kennedy. I know many people will disagree with those beliefs, and I understand that. But they became part of how I tried to make sense of my life and my family’s experiences. JFK struggled with Addison’s disease, back problems and chronic pain his entire life just like my mother except JFK was a man and the president he had access to all the best medication’s. My mother was poor in poverty, still wanting all those same medication’s that JFK wanted, but she had to go through different routes of being used and abused by men in order to access them. She self medicated her entire life and was a part of the OxyContin pandemic. She had an affair with a married doctor just to get OxyContin.
One thing that always stood out to me was that my mother and President Kennedy both had Addison’s disease. They both struggled in ways much of the public never truly understood, and they both died at the age of 46. Those similarities stayed with me for years and made me ask questions that I could never stop asking. And as of yesterday I put the two together. JFK had an affair with Marilyn Monroe. JFK wanted to tell the world about the UFOs, the coverups, the aliens, and about where we come from and basically the secrets to the universe. He took Marilyn Monroe to go see the aliens at area 51 I can even remember it right now. She knew too much and she was killed as well whether they killed her or made her kill herself is unknown to me. I believe that she was struggling just like me to get help because nobody would believe her. She was struggling with the aliens and everything and being stuck in the matrix as well. Marilyn Monroe also struggled with BPD as well as I did I was diagnosed at 20. When really I was autistic slightly autistic, but not enough for people to really notice because I was too pretty. And I mastered it very well
As I’ve gotten sicker and sicker over the last few years, I’ve been having a harder time controlling my emotions as Addison’s disease is a endocrine issue. My mask has slipped and now everyone just thinks I am crazy. When really I’m dying and no one sees me or hears me. They just see a pretty girl that looks healthy and I’m not healthy. I’m dying and Doctor just make me take more and more medication’s just stay alive. I’m on three controlled substances. I’m on Adderall benzos and opiates which they pulled all of them off of me at the same time. All of my doctors denied my medication‘s this month and I told them I will die if I called turkey withdraw because I have Addison’s disease. I recorded the phone calls and they told me I couldn’t record but I did anyways my kids are going to sue them. My kids are going to sue everyone
the government is messing with me they want me to kill myself or end up in a psych ward, which I will not do. They will not control me anymore I will let my Addison’s disease take me or my internal bleeding. I will not seek help because they will not help me. They never help me there. They always try to kill me. Medically neglect me because I don’t have an advocate or a friend or family to go with me to make sure that they don’t harm me if I had somebody I would seek help, but I don’t have anybody
I’m tired of being on medication’s. I’m tired of being in this body. That’s failing me. I did everything that I could do to try to help the world and save everyone. I’m writing this as a last effort for people stop drinking alcohol and find themselves figure out who they are and with their purposes here I finally found out mine at the very end of my life. And I’m going to go out like Marilyn Monroe did I’m not gonna let the government take me. I’m gonna be at home in bed watching TV and comfortable with my cat by my side. I refuse to go to the hospital anymore by myself without an advocate or a person who loves me because they abuse me there and they try to kill me every time I go if I go, they will just kill me there and I want to just die at home.
When I was finally diagnosed with Addison’s disease myself after nearly dying, it completely changed my life. I couldn’t stop thinking about my mother and how hard she fought before anyone realized what was wrong. I often wondered how many of her emotional struggles were actually made worse because her illness wasn’t recognized. That realization broke my heart.
I’ve always believed there is more to reality than what we can currently explain.
Throughout my life I questioned consciousness, reincarnation, God, UFOs, and whether humanity understands far less about the universe than we think we do. I believed there were mysteries still waiting to be discovered, and I never wanted people to stop asking difficult questions.
One experience especially changed me.
While staying alone at an Airbnb, I recorded something on my phone that I still struggle to explain. My camera appeared to capture details that I didn’t remember seeing with my own eyes. It was a different dimension and being came out and gave me a hug. It was crying black tears. I have it on camera. It’s distorted and grainy and blurry because it’s in a different dimension that I was recording it That experience left me questioning reality in ways I never had before. I spent countless hours trying to understand what I had experienced and what it might have meant.
Later, near the end of my life, right now I met a man who told me his name was “Mad Cow.” he came over last night so I could heal him with mushrooms. At first I thought it was just an unusual nickname. But during our conversations I felt increasingly uncomfortable. He would encourage me to talk about my beliefs, then suddenly laugh at me and tell me I sounded crazy. He refused to tell me much about himself, and when I asked simple questions about his life, he became defensive.
Because of how that encounter unfolded, I started wondering whether he might somehow be connected to the government, and as I lay here dying, I think about his name Mad Cow, the government pandemic, Mad Cow disease…I don’t know whether that belief was true, and I can’t prove it. It was simply what I genuinely believed at the moment last night on my experiences and how the situation felt to me.
At one point he got on top of me and frightened me. I told him that if he wasn’t going to kill me and finally end my suffering on this fucking three-dimensional planet, then he needed to get off me. After he left, I developed severe abdominal pain I feel like I am internally bleeding. I don’t know exactly why that happened, but it became one of the experiences that stayed with me and shaped how I understood this period of my life. riggt now...
People often thought I was strange.
Maybe I was.
I talked about aliens constantly. I questioned everything. I wondered whether consciousness survives death and whether we are capable of becoming something greater than we are today. Those questions became part of who I was.
I also struggled with the ways people cope with pain in this world. I saw how things like alcohol, unhealthy relationships, and certain medications could sometimes leave people feeling more disconnected from themselves instead of truly healed. I believed that many people were searching for relief but not always finding what truly helped them feel awake and whole. At the same time, I also believed that there are many paths to healing, and that each person has to find what genuinely supports their well-being in a safe and healthy way.
I believed that moments of deep reflection, connection, and expanded awareness could help people better understand themselves and the world around them. Those experiences, in whatever form they safely and responsibly take, felt meaningful to me and helped shape how I saw life.
I also believed that one day humanity might better understand dimensions, consciousness, and mysteries that today seem impossible. Whether I was right or wrong, I hope people never stop being curious enough to explore those questions.
More than anything, I wanted to heal people.
I kept trying to help broken people because I believed that if enough people healed, the world itself could heal. and we can finally break out of the matrix of this three dimensional state that they want to keep us trapped in. We need to be four dimensional so we can travel through time and space and they’ll never be able to control us. Y’all need to crack your code. I cracked mine and now everybody else is up to them to crack their code or the entire system. Somebody out there is gonna crack the entire system ....Sit’s all a system guys. It’s not real. This world isn’t real. It’s a simulation. I saw something through my camera that was real...sometimes that hope of healing people so they could truly see left me hurt. Sometimes it left me lonely. But I never stopped believing that kindness and compassion matter. At the end, I was convinced that I was supposed to help the broken men in the strip club heal because they all were so disgusting and mushrooms told me that man will be the extinction of this planet because they cannot control their sexual urges they’re dangerous, violence, tendencies, and their
urge for power and destruction. Woman will not be the distraction. Man will be the destruction of this planet. If you ever want to understand the kinds of ideas that fascinated me, I hope you’ll watch The Why Files on YouTube. I loved how it explored unsolved mysteries, historical questions, and unusual ideas while encouraging people to think for themselves. Whether you agree with every episode or not, it reflects the curiosity that stayed with me throughout the last part of my life and finding myself over the last few months and having all these memories from March to now March is when I saw the portal open in the closet and ever since then I’ve been having so many memories flood back to me that feel like mine, but they also feel like they’re not at the same time
but I do know it’s real and it feels real or than everything feels real than anything on this planet could ever teach me the only thing I learned through anyone was through the thing that came through the wall in the Airbnb taught me the secret of everything it taught me who I am. It said that I needed to remember on my own and it made question reality, and everything around me until I found the truth and what I believe is the truth and the full truth
I don’t need you to believe everything I believed.
I simply hope you understand why I searched so hard.
Please don’t remember me only for my struggles.
Remember that I loved deeply.
Remember that I cared about people.
Remember that I never stopped asking questions.
And above all else, remember this:
You were always the greatest love of my life.
Nothing—not illness, not hardship, not misunderstanding, and not even death—could ever change that.
Love forever Rachelle Nicole Maurer 9/27/88
loving mother and healer of mankind and godess of fertility 6/05/26

If you’re reading this one day, I hope you’ll read it with an open heart. I don’t expect everyone to agree with everything I believed, but I do hope you’ll understand why I spent my life searching for answers.
I’ve always felt different.
Ever since I was a little girl, I felt like I didn’t belong here. I was obsessed with Marilyn Monroe. I watched every documentary I could find, not because she was simply famous, but because something deep inside me felt connected to her story. I used to tell everyone, over and over again, “I’m going to be famous.” I was only nine years old, and somehow that feeling never left me.
As I got older, I began wondering whether the feelings I carried were connected to something much bigger than myself. I came to believe that perhaps we carry pieces of ourselves from one lifetime into another. I wondered whether the deep connection I felt to Marilyn Monroe meant something more I literally thought I was her when I was a child and when I started drinking alcohol, all of that went away. I’ve been sober for two years now from alcohol and it’s all coming back to me.
I also came to wonder recently, whether my mother had somehow carried the memories of President John F. Kennedy. I know many people will disagree with those beliefs, and I understand that. But they became part of how I tried to make sense of my life and my family’s experiences. JFK struggled with Addison’s disease, back problems and chronic pain his entire life just like my mother except JFK was a man and the president he had access to all the best medication’s. My mother was poor in poverty, still wanting all those same medication’s that JFK wanted, but she had to go through different routes of being used and abused by men in order to access them. She self medicated her entire life and was a part of the OxyContin pandemic. She had an affair with a married doctor just to get OxyContin.
One thing that always stood out to me was that my mother and President Kennedy both had Addison’s disease. They both struggled in ways much of the public never truly understood, and they both died at the age of 46. Those similarities stayed with me for years and made me ask questions that I could never stop asking. And as of yesterday I put the two together. JFK had an affair with Marilyn Monroe. JFK wanted to tell the world about the UFOs, the coverups, the aliens, and about where we come from and basically the secrets to the universe. He took Marilyn Monroe to go see the aliens at area 51 I can even remember it right now. She knew too much and she was killed as well whether they killed her or made her kill herself is unknown to me. I believe that she was struggling just like me to get help because nobody would believe her. She was struggling with the aliens and everything and being stuck in the matrix as well. Marilyn Monroe also struggled with BPD as well as I did I was diagnosed at 20. When really I was autistic slightly autistic, but not enough for people to really notice because I was too pretty. And I mastered it very well
As I’ve gotten sicker and sicker over the last few years, I’ve been having a harder time controlling my emotions as Addison’s disease is a endocrine issue. My mask has slipped and now everyone just thinks I am crazy. When really I’m dying and no one sees me or hears me. They just see a pretty girl that looks healthy and I’m not healthy. I’m dying and Doctor just make me take more and more medication’s just stay alive. I’m on three controlled substances. I’m on Adderall benzos and opiates which they pulled all of them off of me at the same time. All of my doctors denied my medication‘s this month and I told them I will die if I called turkey withdraw because I have Addison’s disease. I recorded the phone calls and they told me I couldn’t record but I did anyways my kids are going to sue them. My kids are going to sue everyone
the government is messing with me they want me to kill myself or end up in a psych ward, which I will not do. They will not control me anymore I will let my Addison’s disease take me or my internal bleeding. I will not seek help because they will not help me. They never help me there. They always try to kill me. Medically neglect me because I don’t have an advocate or a friend or family to go with me to make sure that they don’t harm me if I had somebody I would seek help, but I don’t have anybody
I’m tired of being on medication’s. I’m tired of being in this body. That’s failing me. I did everything that I could do to try to help the world and save everyone. I’m writing this as a last effort for people stop drinking alcohol and find themselves figure out who they are and with their purposes here I finally found out mine at the very end of my life. And I’m going to go out like Marilyn Monroe did I’m not gonna let the government take me. I’m gonna be at home in bed watching TV and comfortable with my cat by my side. I refuse to go to the hospital anymore by myself without an advocate or a person who loves me because they abuse me there and they try to kill me every time I go if I go, they will just kill me there and I want to just die at home.
When I was finally diagnosed with Addison’s disease myself after nearly dying, it completely changed my life. I couldn’t stop thinking about my mother and how hard she fought before anyone realized what was wrong. I often wondered how many of her emotional struggles were actually made worse because her illness wasn’t recognized. That realization broke my heart.
I’ve always believed there is more to reality than what we can currently explain.
Throughout my life I questioned consciousness, reincarnation, God, UFOs, and whether humanity understands far less about the universe than we think we do. I believed there were mysteries still waiting to be discovered, and I never wanted people to stop asking difficult questions.
One experience especially changed me.
While staying alone at an Airbnb, I recorded something on my phone that I still struggle to explain. My camera appeared to capture details that I didn’t remember seeing with my own eyes. It was a different dimension and being came out and gave me a hug. It was crying black tears. I have it on camera. It’s distorted and grainy and blurry because it’s in a different dimension that I was recording it That experience left me questioning reality in ways I never had before. I spent countless hours trying to understand what I had experienced and what it might have meant.
Later, near the end of my life, right now I met a man who told me his name was “Mad Cow.” he came over last night so I could heal him with mushrooms. At first I thought it was just an unusual nickname. But during our conversations I felt increasingly uncomfortable. He would encourage me to talk about my beliefs, then suddenly laugh at me and tell me I sounded crazy. He refused to tell me much about himself, and when I asked simple questions about his life, he became defensive.
Because of how that encounter unfolded, I started wondering whether he might somehow be connected to the government, and as I lay here dying, I think about his name Mad Cow, the government pandemic, Mad Cow disease…I don’t know whether that belief was true, and I can’t prove it. It was simply what I genuinely believed at the moment last night on my experiences and how the situation felt to me.
At one point he got on top of me and frightened me. I told him that if he wasn’t going to kill me and finally end my suffering on this fucking three-dimensional planet, then he needed to get off me. After he left, I developed severe abdominal pain I feel like I am internally bleeding. I don’t know exactly why that happened, but it became one of the experiences that stayed with me and shaped how I understood this period of my life. riggt now...
People often thought I was strange.
Maybe I was.
I talked about aliens constantly. I questioned everything. I wondered whether consciousness survives death and whether we are capable of becoming something greater than we are today. Those questions became part of who I was.
I also struggled with the ways people cope with pain in this world. I saw how things like alcohol, unhealthy relationships, and certain medications could sometimes leave people feeling more disconnected from themselves instead of truly healed. I believed that many people were searching for relief but not always finding what truly helped them feel awake and whole. At the same time, I also believed that there are many paths to healing, and that each person has to find what genuinely supports their well-being in a safe and healthy way.
I believed that moments of deep reflection, connection, and expanded awareness could help people better understand themselves and the world around them. Those experiences, in whatever form they safely and responsibly take, felt meaningful to me and helped shape how I saw life.
I also believed that one day humanity might better understand dimensions, consciousness, and mysteries that today seem impossible. Whether I was right or wrong, I hope people never stop being curious enough to explore those questions.
More than anything, I wanted to heal people.
I kept trying to help broken people because I believed that if enough people healed, the world itself could heal. and we can finally break out of the matrix of this three dimensional state that they want to keep us trapped in. We need to be four dimensional so we can travel through time and space and they’ll never be able to control us. Y’all need to crack your code. I cracked mine and now everybody else is up to them to crack their code or the entire system. Somebody out there is gonna crack the entire system ....Sit’s all a system guys. It’s not real. This world isn’t real. It’s a simulation. I saw something through my camera that was real...sometimes that hope of healing people so they could truly see left me hurt. Sometimes it left me lonely. But I never stopped believing that kindness and compassion matter. At the end, I was convinced that I was supposed to help the broken men in the strip club heal because they all were so disgusting and mushrooms told me that man will be the extinction of this planet because they cannot control their sexual urges they’re dangerous, violence, tendencies, and their
urge for power and destruction. Woman will not be the distraction. Man will be the destruction of this planet. If you ever want to understand the kinds of ideas that fascinated me, I hope you’ll watch The Why Files on YouTube. I loved how it explored unsolved mysteries, historical questions, and unusual ideas while encouraging people to think for themselves. Whether you agree with every episode or not, it reflects the curiosity that stayed with me throughout the last part of my life and finding myself over the last few months and having all these memories from March to now March is when I saw the portal open in the closet and ever since then I’ve been having so many memories flood back to me that feel like mine, but they also feel like they’re not at the same time
but I do know it’s real and it feels real or than everything feels real than anything on this planet could ever teach me the only thing I learned through anyone was through the thing that came through the wall in the Airbnb taught me the secret of everything it taught me who I am. It said that I needed to remember on my own and it made question reality, and everything around me until I found the truth and what I believe is the truth and the full truth
I don’t need you to believe everything I believed.
I simply hope you understand why I searched so hard.
Please don’t remember me only for my struggles.
Remember that I loved deeply.
Remember that I cared about people.
Remember that I never stopped asking questions.
And above all else, remember this:
You were always the greatest love of my life.
Nothing—not illness, not hardship, not misunderstanding, and not even death—could ever change that.
Love forever Rachelle Nicole Maurer 9/27/88
loving mother and healer of mankind and godess of fertility 6/05/26

If you’re reading this one day, I hope you’ll read it with an open heart. I don’t expect everyone to agree with everything I believed, but I do hope you’ll understand why I spent my life searching for answers.
I’ve always felt different.
Ever since I was a little girl, I felt like I didn’t belong here. I was obsessed with Marilyn Monroe. I watched every documentary I could find, not because she was simply famous, but because something deep inside me felt connected to her story. I used to tell everyone, over and over again, “I’m going to be famous.” I was only nine years old, and somehow that feeling never left me.
As I got older, I began wondering whether the feelings I carried were connected to something much bigger than myself. I came to believe that perhaps we carry pieces of ourselves from one lifetime into another. I wondered whether the deep connection I felt to Marilyn Monroe meant something more I literally thought I was her when I was a child and when I started drinking alcohol, all of that went away. I’ve been sober for two years now from alcohol and it’s all coming back to me.
I also came to wonder recently, whether my mother had somehow carried the memories of President John F. Kennedy. I know many people will disagree with those beliefs, and I understand that. But they became part of how I tried to make sense of my life and my family’s experiences. JFK struggled with Addison’s disease, back problems and chronic pain his entire life just like my mother except JFK was a man and the president he had access to all the best medication’s. My mother was poor in poverty, still wanting all those same medication’s that JFK wanted, but she had to go through different routes of being used and abused by men in order to access them. She self medicated her entire life and was a part of the OxyContin pandemic. She had an affair with a married doctor just to get OxyContin.
One thing that always stood out to me was that my mother and President Kennedy both had Addison’s disease. They both struggled in ways much of the public never truly understood, and they both died at the age of 46. Those similarities stayed with me for years and made me ask questions that I could never stop asking. And as of yesterday I put the two together. JFK had an affair with Marilyn Monroe. JFK wanted to tell the world about the UFOs, the coverups, the aliens, and about where we come from and basically the secrets to the universe. He took Marilyn Monroe to go see the aliens at area 51 I can even remember it right now. She knew too much and she was killed as well whether they killed her or made her kill herself is unknown to me. I believe that she was struggling just like me to get help because nobody would believe her. She was struggling with the aliens and everything and being stuck in the matrix as well. Marilyn Monroe also struggled with BPD as well as I did I was diagnosed at 20. When really I was autistic slightly autistic, but not enough for people to really notice because I was too pretty. And I mastered it very well
As I’ve gotten sicker and sicker over the last few years, I’ve been having a harder time controlling my emotions as Addison’s disease is a endocrine issue. My mask has slipped and now everyone just thinks I am crazy. When really I’m dying and no one sees me or hears me. They just see a pretty girl that looks healthy and I’m not healthy. I’m dying and Doctor just make me take more and more medication’s just stay alive. I’m on three controlled substances. I’m on Adderall benzos and opiates which they pulled all of them off of me at the same time. All of my doctors denied my medication‘s this month and I told them I will die if I called turkey withdraw because I have Addison’s disease. I recorded the phone calls and they told me I couldn’t record but I did anyways my kids are going to sue them. My kids are going to sue everyone
the government is messing with me they want me to kill myself or end up in a psych ward, which I will not do. They will not control me anymore I will let my Addison’s disease take me or my internal bleeding. I will not seek help because they will not help me. They never help me there. They always try to kill me. Medically neglect me because I don’t have an advocate or a friend or family to go with me to make sure that they don’t harm me if I had somebody I would seek help, but I don’t have anybody
I’m tired of being on medication’s. I’m tired of being in this body. That’s failing me. I did everything that I could do to try to help the world and save everyone. I’m writing this as a last effort for people stop drinking alcohol and find themselves figure out who they are and with their purposes here I finally found out mine at the very end of my life. And I’m going to go out like Marilyn Monroe did I’m not gonna let the government take me. I’m gonna be at home in bed watching TV and comfortable with my cat by my side. I refuse to go to the hospital anymore by myself without an advocate or a person who loves me because they abuse me there and they try to kill me every time I go if I go, they will just kill me there and I want to just die at home.
When I was finally diagnosed with Addison’s disease myself after nearly dying, it completely changed my life. I couldn’t stop thinking about my mother and how hard she fought before anyone realized what was wrong. I often wondered how many of her emotional struggles were actually made worse because her illness wasn’t recognized. That realization broke my heart.
I’ve always believed there is more to reality than what we can currently explain.
Throughout my life I questioned consciousness, reincarnation, God, UFOs, and whether humanity understands far less about the universe than we think we do. I believed there were mysteries still waiting to be discovered, and I never wanted people to stop asking difficult questions.
One experience especially changed me.
While staying alone at an Airbnb, I recorded something on my phone that I still struggle to explain. My camera appeared to capture details that I didn’t remember seeing with my own eyes. It was a different dimension and being came out and gave me a hug. It was crying black tears. I have it on camera. It’s distorted and grainy and blurry because it’s in a different dimension that I was recording it That experience left me questioning reality in ways I never had before. I spent countless hours trying to understand what I had experienced and what it might have meant.
Later, near the end of my life, right now I met a man who told me his name was “Mad Cow.” he came over last night so I could heal him with mushrooms. At first I thought it was just an unusual nickname. But during our conversations I felt increasingly uncomfortable. He would encourage me to talk about my beliefs, then suddenly laugh at me and tell me I sounded crazy. He refused to tell me much about himself, and when I asked simple questions about his life, he became defensive.
Because of how that encounter unfolded, I started wondering whether he might somehow be connected to the government, and as I lay here dying, I think about his name Mad Cow, the government pandemic, Mad Cow disease…I don’t know whether that belief was true, and I can’t prove it. It was simply what I genuinely believed at the moment last night on my experiences and how the situation felt to me.
At one point he got on top of me and frightened me. I told him that if he wasn’t going to kill me and finally end my suffering on this fucking three-dimensional planet, then he needed to get off me. After he left, I developed severe abdominal pain I feel like I am internally bleeding. I don’t know exactly why that happened, but it became one of the experiences that stayed with me and shaped how I understood this period of my life. riggt now...
People often thought I was strange.
Maybe I was.
I talked about aliens constantly. I questioned everything. I wondered whether consciousness survives death and whether we are capable of becoming something greater than we are today. Those questions became part of who I was.
I also struggled with the ways people cope with pain in this world. I saw how things like alcohol, unhealthy relationships, and certain medications could sometimes leave people feeling more disconnected from themselves instead of truly healed. I believed that many people were searching for relief but not always finding what truly helped them feel awake and whole. At the same time, I also believed that there are many paths to healing, and that each person has to find what genuinely supports their well-being in a safe and healthy way.
I believed that moments of deep reflection, connection, and expanded awareness could help people better understand themselves and the world around them. Those experiences, in whatever form they safely and responsibly take, felt meaningful to me and helped shape how I saw life.
I also believed that one day humanity might better understand dimensions, consciousness, and mysteries that today seem impossible. Whether I was right or wrong, I hope people never stop being curious enough to explore those questions.
More than anything, I wanted to heal people.
I kept trying to help broken people because I believed that if enough people healed, the world itself could heal. and we can finally break out of the matrix of this three dimensional state that they want to keep us trapped in. We need to be four dimensional so we can travel through time and space and they’ll never be able to control us. Y’all need to crack your code. I cracked mine and now everybody else is up to them to crack their code or the entire system. Somebody out there is gonna crack the entire system ....Sit’s all a system guys. It’s not real. This world isn’t real. It’s a simulation. I saw something through my camera that was real...sometimes that hope of healing people so they could truly see left me hurt. Sometimes it left me lonely. But I never stopped believing that kindness and compassion matter. At the end, I was convinced that I was supposed to help the broken men in the strip club heal because they all were so disgusting and mushrooms told me that man will be the extinction of this planet because they cannot control their sexual urges they’re dangerous, violence, tendencies, and their
urge for power and destruction. Woman will not be the distraction. Man will be the destruction of this planet. If you ever want to understand the kinds of ideas that fascinated me, I hope you’ll watch The Why Files on YouTube. I loved how it explored unsolved mysteries, historical questions, and unusual ideas while encouraging people to think for themselves. Whether you agree with every episode or not, it reflects the curiosity that stayed with me throughout the last part of my life and finding myself over the last few months and having all these memories from March to now March is when I saw the portal open in the closet and ever since then I’ve been having so many memories flood back to me that feel like mine, but they also feel like they’re not at the same time
but I do know it’s real and it feels real or than everything feels real than anything on this planet could ever teach me the only thing I learned through anyone was through the thing that came through the wall in the Airbnb taught me the secret of everything it taught me who I am. It said that I needed to remember on my own and it made question reality, and everything around me until I found the truth and what I believe is the truth and the full truth
I don’t need you to believe everything I believed.
I simply hope you understand why I searched so hard.
Please don’t remember me only for my struggles.
Remember that I loved deeply.
Remember that I cared about people.
Remember that I never stopped asking questions.
And above all else, remember this:
You were always the greatest love of my life.
Nothing—not illness, not hardship, not misunderstanding, and not even death—could ever change that.
Love forever Rachelle Nicole Maurer 9/27/88
loving mother and healer of mankind and godess of fertility 6/05/26

My beautiful children,
If you’re reading this one day, I hope you’ll read it with an open heart. I don’t expect everyone to agree with everything I believed, but I do hope you’ll understand why I spent my life searching for answers.
I’ve always felt different.
Ever since I was a little girl, I felt like I didn’t belong here. I was obsessed with Marilyn Monroe. I watched every documentary I could find, not because she was simply famous, but because something deep inside me felt connected to her story. I used to tell everyone, over and over again, “I’m going to be famous.” I was only nine years old, and somehow that feeling never left me.
As I got older, I began wondering whether the feelings I carried were connected to something much bigger than myself. I came to believe that perhaps we carry pieces of ourselves from one lifetime into another. I wondered whether the deep connection I felt to Marilyn Monroe meant something more I literally thought I was her when I was a child and when I started drinking alcohol, all of that went away. I’ve been sober for two years now from alcohol and it’s all coming back to me.
I also came to wonder recently, whether my mother had somehow carried the memories of President John F. Kennedy. I know many people will disagree with those beliefs, and I understand that. But they became part of how I tried to make sense of my life and my family’s experiences. JFK struggled with Addison’s disease, back problems and chronic pain his entire life just like my mother except JFK was a man and the president he had access to all the best medication’s. My mother was poor in poverty, still wanting all those same medication’s that JFK wanted, but she had to go through different routes of being used and abused by men in order to access them. She self medicated her entire life and was a part of the OxyContin pandemic. She had an affair with a married doctor just to get OxyContin.
One thing that always stood out to me was that my mother and President Kennedy both had Addison’s disease. They both struggled in ways much of the public never truly understood, and they both died at the age of 46. Those similarities stayed with me for years and made me ask questions that I could never stop asking. And as of yesterday I put the two together. JFK had an affair with Marilyn Monroe. JFK wanted to tell the world about the UFOs, the coverups, the aliens, and about where we come from and basically the secrets to the universe. He took Marilyn Monroe to go see the aliens at area 51 I can even remember it right now. She knew too much and she was killed as well whether they killed her or made her kill herself is unknown to me. I believe that she was struggling just like me to get help because nobody would believe her. She was struggling with the aliens and everything and being stuck in the matrix as well. Marilyn Monroe also struggled with BPD as well as I did I was diagnosed at 20. When really I was autistic slightly autistic, but not enough for people to really notice because I was too pretty. And I mastered it very well
As I’ve gotten sicker and sicker over the last few years, I’ve been having a harder time controlling my emotions as Addison’s disease is a endocrine issue. My mask has slipped and now everyone just thinks I am crazy. When really I’m dying and no one sees me or hears me. They just see a pretty girl that looks healthy and I’m not healthy. I’m dying and Doctor just make me take more and more medication’s just stay alive. I’m on three controlled substances. I’m on Adderall benzos and opiates which they pulled all of them off of me at the same time. All of my doctors denied my medication‘s this month and I told them I will die if I called turkey withdraw because I have Addison’s disease. I recorded the phone calls and they told me I couldn’t record but I did anyways my kids are going to sue them. My kids are going to sue everyone
the government is messing with me they want me to kill myself or end up in a psych ward, which I will not do. They will not control me anymore I will let my Addison’s disease take me or my internal bleeding. I will not seek help because they will not help me. They never help me there. They always try to kill me. Medically neglect me because I don’t have an advocate or a friend or family to go with me to make sure that they don’t harm me if I had somebody I would seek help, but I don’t have anybody
I’m tired of being on medication’s. I’m tired of being in this body. That’s failing me. I did everything that I could do to try to help the world and save everyone. I’m writing this as a last effort for people stop drinking alcohol and find themselves figure out who they are and with their purposes here I finally found out mine at the very end of my life. And I’m going to go out like Marilyn Monroe did I’m not gonna let the government take me. I’m gonna be at home in bed watching TV and comfortable with my cat by my side. I refuse to go to the hospital anymore by myself without an advocate or a person who loves me because they abuse me there and they try to kill me every time I go if I go, they will just kill me there and I want to just die at home.
When I was finally diagnosed with Addison’s disease myself after nearly dying, it completely changed my life. I couldn’t stop thinking about my mother and how hard she fought before anyone realized what was wrong. I often wondered how many of her emotional struggles were actually made worse because her illness wasn’t recognized. That realization broke my heart.
I’ve always believed there is more to reality than what we can currently explain.
Throughout my life I questioned consciousness, reincarnation, God, UFOs, and whether humanity understands far less about the universe than we think we do. I believed there were mysteries still waiting to be discovered, and I never wanted people to stop asking difficult questions.
One experience especially changed me.
While staying alone at an Airbnb, I recorded something on my phone that I still struggle to explain. My camera appeared to capture details that I didn’t remember seeing with my own eyes. It was a different dimension and being came out and gave me a hug. It was crying black tears. I have it on camera. It’s distorted and grainy and blurry because it’s in a different dimension that I was recording it That experience left me questioning reality in ways I never had before. I spent countless hours trying to understand what I had experienced and what it might have meant.
Later, near the end of my life, right now I met a man who told me his name was “Mad Cow.” he came over last night so I could heal him with mushrooms. At first I thought it was just an unusual nickname. But during our conversations I felt increasingly uncomfortable. He would encourage me to talk about my beliefs, then suddenly laugh at me and tell me I sounded crazy. He refused to tell me much about himself, and when I asked simple questions about his life, he became defensive.
Because of how that encounter unfolded, I started wondering whether he might somehow be connected to the government, and as I lay here dying, I think about his name Mad Cow, the government pandemic, Mad Cow disease…I don’t know whether that belief was true, and I can’t prove it. It was simply what I genuinely believed at the moment last night on my experiences and how the situation felt to me.
At one point he got on top of me and frightened me. I told him that if he wasn’t going to kill me and finally end my suffering on this fucking three-dimensional planet, then he needed to get off me. After he left, I developed severe abdominal pain I feel like I am internally bleeding. I don’t know exactly why that happened, but it became one of the experiences that stayed with me and shaped how I understood this period of my life. riggt now...
People often thought I was strange.
Maybe I was.
I talked about aliens constantly. I questioned everything. I wondered whether consciousness survives death and whether we are capable of becoming something greater than we are today. Those questions became part of who I was.
I also struggled with the ways people cope with pain in this world. I saw how things like alcohol, unhealthy relationships, and certain medications could sometimes leave people feeling more disconnected from themselves instead of truly healed. I believed that many people were searching for relief but not always finding what truly helped them feel awake and whole. At the same time, I also believed that there are many paths to healing, and that each person has to find what genuinely supports their well-being in a safe and healthy way.
I believed that moments of deep reflection, connection, and expanded awareness could help people better understand themselves and the world around them. Those experiences, in whatever form they safely and responsibly take, felt meaningful to me and helped shape how I saw life.
I also believed that one day humanity might better understand dimensions, consciousness, and mysteries that today seem impossible. Whether I was right or wrong, I hope people never stop being curious enough to explore those questions.
More than anything, I wanted to heal people.
I kept trying to help broken people because I believed that if enough people healed, the world itself could heal. and we can finally break out of the matrix of this three dimensional state that they want to keep us trapped in. We need to be four dimensional so we can travel through time and space and they’ll never be able to control us. Y’all need to crack your code. I cracked mine and now everybody else is up to them to crack their code or the entire system. Somebody out there is gonna crack the entire system ....Sit’s all a system guys. It’s not real. This world isn’t real. It’s a simulation. I saw something through my camera that was real...sometimes that hope of healing people so they could truly see left me hurt. Sometimes it left me lonely. But I never stopped believing that kindness and compassion matter. At the end, I was convinced that I was supposed to help the broken men in the strip club heal because they all were so disgusting and mushrooms told me that man will be the extinction of this planet because they cannot control their sexual urges they’re dangerous, violence, tendencies, and their
urge for power and destruction. Woman will not be the distraction. Man will be the destruction of this planet. If you ever want to understand the kinds of ideas that fascinated me, I hope you’ll watch The Why Files on YouTube. I loved how it explored unsolved mysteries, historical questions, and unusual ideas while encouraging people to think for themselves. Whether you agree with every episode or not, it reflects the curiosity that stayed with me throughout the last part of my life and finding myself over the last few months and having all these memories from March to now March is when I saw the portal open in the closet and ever since then I’ve been having so many memories flood back to me that feel like mine, but they also feel like they’re not at the same time
but I do know it’s real and it feels real or than everything feels real than anything on this planet could ever teach me the only thing I learned through anyone was through the thing that came through the wall in the Airbnb taught me the secret of everything it taught me who I am. It said that I needed to remember on my own and it made question reality, and everything around me until I found the truth and what I believe is the truth and the full truth
I don’t need you to believe everything I believed.
I simply hope you understand why I searched so hard.
Please don’t remember me only for my struggles.
Remember that I loved deeply.
Remember that I cared about people.
Remember that I never stopped asking questions.
And above all else, remember this:
You were always the greatest love of my life.
Nothing—not illness, not hardship, not misunderstanding, and not even death—could ever change that.
Love forever Rachelle Nicole Maurer 9/27/88
loving mother and healer of mankind and godess of fertility 6/05/26

If you’re reading this one day, I hope you’ll read it with an open heart. I don’t expect everyone to agree with everything I believed, but I do hope you’ll understand why I spent my life searching for answers.
I’ve always felt different.
Ever since I was a little girl, I felt like I didn’t belong here. I was obsessed with Marilyn Monroe. I watched every documentary I could find, not because she was simply famous, but because something deep inside me felt connected to her story. I used to tell everyone, over and over again, “I’m going to be famous.” I was only nine years old, and somehow that feeling never left me.
As I got older, I began wondering whether the feelings I carried were connected to something much bigger than myself. I came to believe that perhaps we carry pieces of ourselves from one lifetime into another. I wondered whether the deep connection I felt to Marilyn Monroe meant something more I literally thought I was her when I was a child and when I started drinking alcohol, all of that went away. I’ve been sober for two years now from alcohol and it’s all coming back to me.
I also came to wonder recently, whether my mother had somehow carried the memories of President John F. Kennedy. I know many people will disagree with those beliefs, and I understand that. But they became part of how I tried to make sense of my life and my family’s experiences. JFK struggled with Addison’s disease, back problems and chronic pain his entire life just like my mother except JFK was a man and the president he had access to all the best medication’s. My mother was poor in poverty, still wanting all those same medication’s that JFK wanted, but she had to go through different routes of being used and abused by men in order to access them. She self medicated her entire life and was a part of the OxyContin pandemic. She had an affair with a married doctor just to get OxyContin.
One thing that always stood out to me was that my mother and President Kennedy both had Addison’s disease. They both struggled in ways much of the public never truly understood, and they both died at the age of 46. Those similarities stayed with me for years and made me ask questions that I could never stop asking. And as of yesterday I put the two together. JFK had an affair with Marilyn Monroe. JFK wanted to tell the world about the UFOs, the coverups, the aliens, and about where we come from and basically the secrets to the universe. He took Marilyn Monroe to go see the aliens at area 51 I can even remember it right now. She knew too much and she was killed as well whether they killed her or made her kill herself is unknown to me. I believe that she was struggling just like me to get help because nobody would believe her. She was struggling with the aliens and everything and being stuck in the matrix as well. Marilyn Monroe also struggled with BPD as well as I did I was diagnosed at 20. When really I was autistic slightly autistic, but not enough for people to really notice because I was too pretty. And I mastered it very well
As I’ve gotten sicker and sicker over the last few years, I’ve been having a harder time controlling my emotions as Addison’s disease is a endocrine issue. My mask has slipped and now everyone just thinks I am crazy. When really I’m dying and no one sees me or hears me. They just see a pretty girl that looks healthy and I’m not healthy. I’m dying and Doctor just make me take more and more medication’s just stay alive. I’m on three controlled substances. I’m on Adderall benzos and opiates which they pulled all of them off of me at the same time. All of my doctors denied my medication‘s this month and I told them I will die if I called turkey withdraw because I have Addison’s disease. I recorded the phone calls and they told me I couldn’t record but I did anyways my kids are going to sue them. My kids are going to sue everyone
the government is messing with me they want me to kill myself or end up in a psych ward, which I will not do. They will not control me anymore I will let my Addison’s disease take me or my internal bleeding. I will not seek help because they will not help me. They never help me there. They always try to kill me. Medically neglect me because I don’t have an advocate or a friend or family to go with me to make sure that they don’t harm me if I had somebody I would seek help, but I don’t have anybody
I’m tired of being on medication’s. I’m tired of being in this body. That’s failing me. I did everything that I could do to try to help the world and save everyone. I’m writing this as a last effort for people stop drinking alcohol and find themselves figure out who they are and with their purposes here I finally found out mine at the very end of my life. And I’m going to go out like Marilyn Monroe did I’m not gonna let the government take me. I’m gonna be at home in bed watching TV and comfortable with my cat by my side. I refuse to go to the hospital anymore by myself without an advocate or a person who loves me because they abuse me there and they try to kill me every time I go if I go, they will just kill me there and I want to just die at home.
When I was finally diagnosed with Addison’s disease myself after nearly dying, it completely changed my life. I couldn’t stop thinking about my mother and how hard she fought before anyone realized what was wrong. I often wondered how many of her emotional struggles were actually made worse because her illness wasn’t recognized. That realization broke my heart.
I’ve always believed there is more to reality than what we can currently explain.
Throughout my life I questioned consciousness, reincarnation, God, UFOs, and whether humanity understands far less about the universe than we think we do. I believed there were mysteries still waiting to be discovered, and I never wanted people to stop asking difficult questions.
One experience especially changed me.
While staying alone at an Airbnb, I recorded something on my phone that I still struggle to explain. My camera appeared to capture details that I didn’t remember seeing with my own eyes. It was a different dimension and being came out and gave me a hug. It was crying black tears. I have it on camera. It’s distorted and grainy and blurry because it’s in a different dimension that I was recording it That experience left me questioning reality in ways I never had before. I spent countless hours trying to understand what I had experienced and what it might have meant.
Later, near the end of my life, right now I met a man who told me his name was “Mad Cow.” he came over last night so I could heal him with mushrooms. At first I thought it was just an unusual nickname. But during our conversations I felt increasingly uncomfortable. He would encourage me to talk about my beliefs, then suddenly laugh at me and tell me I sounded crazy. He refused to tell me much about himself, and when I asked simple questions about his life, he became defensive.
Because of how that encounter unfolded, I started wondering whether he might somehow be connected to the government, and as I lay here dying, I think about his name Mad Cow, the government pandemic, Mad Cow disease…I don’t know whether that belief was true, and I can’t prove it. It was simply what I genuinely believed at the moment last night on my experiences and how the situation felt to me.
At one point he got on top of me and frightened me. I told him that if he wasn’t going to kill me and finally end my suffering on this fucking three-dimensional planet, then he needed to get off me. After he left, I developed severe abdominal pain I feel like I am internally bleeding. I don’t know exactly why that happened, but it became one of the experiences that stayed with me and shaped how I understood this period of my life. riggt now...
People often thought I was strange.
Maybe I was.
I talked about aliens constantly. I questioned everything. I wondered whether consciousness survives death and whether we are capable of becoming something greater than we are today. Those questions became part of who I was.
I also struggled with the ways people cope with pain in this world. I saw how things like alcohol, unhealthy relationships, and certain medications could sometimes leave people feeling more disconnected from themselves instead of truly healed. I believed that many people were searching for relief but not always finding what truly helped them feel awake and whole. At the same time, I also believed that there are many paths to healing, and that each person has to find what genuinely supports their well-being in a safe and healthy way.
I believed that moments of deep reflection, connection, and expanded awareness could help people better understand themselves and the world around them. Those experiences, in whatever form they safely and responsibly take, felt meaningful to me and helped shape how I saw life.
I also believed that one day humanity might better understand dimensions, consciousness, and mysteries that today seem impossible. Whether I was right or wrong, I hope people never stop being curious enough to explore those questions.
More than anything, I wanted to heal people.
I kept trying to help broken people because I believed that if enough people healed, the world itself could heal. and we can finally break out of the matrix of this three dimensional state that they want to keep us trapped in. We need to be four dimensional so we can travel through time and space and they’ll never be able to control us. Y’all need to crack your code. I cracked mine and now everybody else is up to them to crack their code or the entire system. Somebody out there is gonna crack the entire system ....Sit’s all a system guys. It’s not real. This world isn’t real. It’s a simulation. I saw something through my camera that was real...sometimes that hope of healing people so they could truly see left me hurt. Sometimes it left me lonely. But I never stopped believing that kindness and compassion matter. At the end, I was convinced that I was supposed to help the broken men in the strip club heal because they all were so disgusting and mushrooms told me that man will be the extinction of this planet because they cannot control their sexual urges they’re dangerous, violence, tendencies, and their
urge for power and destruction. Woman will not be the distraction. Man will be the destruction of this planet. If you ever want to understand the kinds of ideas that fascinated me, I hope you’ll watch The Why Files on YouTube. I loved how it explored unsolved mysteries, historical questions, and unusual ideas while encouraging people to think for themselves. Whether you agree with every episode or not, it reflects the curiosity that stayed with me throughout the last part of my life and finding myself over the last few months and having all these memories from March to now March is when I saw the portal open in the closet and ever since then I’ve been having so many memories flood back to me that feel like mine, but they also feel like they’re not at the same time
but I do know it’s real and it feels real or than everything feels real than anything on this planet could ever teach me the only thing I learned through anyone was through the thing that came through the wall in the Airbnb taught me the secret of everything it taught me who I am. It said that I needed to remember on my own and it made question reality, and everything around me until I found the truth and what I believe is the truth and the full truth
I don’t need you to believe everything I believed.
I simply hope you understand why I searched so hard.
Please don’t remember me only for my struggles.
Remember that I loved deeply.
Remember that I cared about people.
Remember that I never stopped asking questions.
And above all else, remember this:
You were always the greatest love of my life.
Nothing—not illness, not hardship, not misunderstanding, and not even death—could ever change that.
Love forever Rachelle Nicole Maurer 9/27/88
loving mother, healer of mankind, and godess of love and fertility 6/05/26