Here Karma, would need some advice please
Hi cat lovers!
Hope you're all doing well :)
I'd really appreciate some advice to be the best cat mom for my little one, if you please.
My cuties name is Karma and he is one year old.
I adopted him a month ago.
It's only fair to say that we are both getting to know each other. I am also well aware of the 3-3-3 rule.
When I think about it more profoundly, maybe the universe sent me Karma to learn deeply about boundaries and consent.
I would say that adopting a cat was pretty impulsive, only because the idea crossed my mind when I saw the Facebook post about my now adopted cat a few minutes after midnight on a Sunday. The animal shelter described him as being extremely cuddly, which really caught me, because I felt deeply alone. The next day, I took my car keys as soon as I woke up and I drove almost 2 hours to get to at least meet the cat that I couldn’t take my thoughts away from. I remember feeling like he absolutely needed to be my cat, my companion. I was scared that somebody would come first. I had a ‘’I want it, I get it’’ kind of motivation. I was the first in line when I arrived at the shelter. I only had my ideas sticked on getting this cat home with me, which I did. I would describe the moment as purely instinctive. I just knew we could write a story together. He was so cuddly, and couldn’t let go of my hands. I looked at the animal caregiver and she just knew herself too. She grabbed a pen, and wrote « ADOPTED », in capital letters.
As we got home together, I did everything recommended : give him some space, let him hide, don’t force anything (besides eyedrops I have to give him everyday), and be patient. It was a perfect timing because both of my roommates were on a trip, so less overstimulation was present in our environment. I tried to give him as much time as I could, because I work a lot (6 days a week).
A week later, I introduced him to the rest of my appartement. He did hide in other places, which is fine. After another week or so, he only hided when he was scared of noises. My roommate was, as I previously mentioned, on a trip and did bring her cat with her, so he was sometimes searching for the other cat, but not as much. We started creating a bond, and Karma began to be more and more affectionate as the days went by.
Then, my roommates got home. Things changed. They don’t work as much, so that means they are more present at home. Ironically, they weren’t really patient with him, and found him quite annoying in his needs to play and to take some time with the other cat. My other roommate also has a bird, which is really intriguing to Karma, and he tends to try to play with him throughout the cage with is paws. So, we got to the conclusion that he needed to be supervised when he had access to the whole appartement, because he was doing some mess when we left him alone at home, unsupervised. So, when nobody is home or nobody is in the commune area of the appartement, my cat is now relocated to my room, shutted door, until I come home from my shift, at 10:30 pm.
My cat loved my roommates cat immediately. So, everything he did, he now wanted to do it with her. He then began to ignore me as soon as my door would be opened as much as when it is shut, and it became more and more difficult to give him his treatments, even if he was really collaborative before (to help the collaboration, I gave him a treat after every time).
He therefore sleeps with me at the tip of my bed, but gently bites me when I try to pet him, after I present my finger or hand for him to smell and then give me or not the consent to cuddle him.
He began to tear out some of his fur in his neck’s area, which, after I made my researches, seems to show an emotional discomfort, understimulation, or anxiety. I barely can have a connection with him right now because, he tends to ignore me and doesn’t want to be petted no more.
He follows me everywhere when I am on my day off, but doesn’t really engage to be near me. Therefore, he tends more and more to be more cuddly with my roommate, which deeply saddens me, and quite humbly, makes me a bit jealous. Our hypothesis is that she smells like her cat, which attracts mine.
What I thought would be an experience where I would feel less lonely tends to make me more and more feel hopeless and completely alone.
I feel like he is more likely to bond with my roommates, and therefore love them more. I just want to be his person, but I would understand if he decided otherwise.
As from now, I can describe him as curious, talkative, playful, active, gluttonous and clumsy. He is happier when he’s in the presence of another cat. He sometimes seems a bit shy with me, which is totally normal. His mood towards me is variable. I am aware that trust is a concept that can take time to acquire, and that a deep connection is also something that doesn’t come overnight. That’s why I’m asking for your help. I want to feel like I’m his companion, his human. I am almost persistently slow blinking at him, and he tends to make it reciprocal.
I know I sound a bit desperate. I am aware that I also sound like I took a decision without asking myself too many questions, impulsively…which, quite frankly, is the case.
I've suspected that he also might have Down Syndrome, based on multiple characteristics and traits. This is therefore not confirmed by the animal shelter he was adopted from. I am planning on taking him to the vet for a quick check. I would like to have possible alternatives before going to the vet.
Physical traits:
-Spaced-up eyes;
-Squashed nose;
-Apparent low muscle tone where he has to use his claws to move in certain positions;
-Shoulder placement;
Etc...
Behavioural characteristics:
-Sensory hypersensitivity;
-Need of calm environment;
-Fear of loud noises and big gestures;
-Apparent separation anxiety;
-Need of more playing periods than the average 1 yo cat (1 1/2 hour a day, and even that is more than likely not enough);
Etc…
He is extremely affected by his environment, needs more time to adapt, and has more difficulty with emotional gestion (according to my current observations).
Sorry for this long rant and ask for advice.
Thanks in advance!