I am the dog that caught the car!
After dreaming of being able to return trash to its rightful owner, I was finally able to make it happen today. Or at least it's on its way.
I found this receipt on my route, and something told me to unfold it and look at it before chucking it into my trash bag. Lo and behold it's a weed dispensary receipt with a person's name and patient ID on it, plus their medical cannabis allowance balance. The name sounded fairly unique, and when I searched for them I got exactly one hit -- they are apparently the only person in the world with their name. Found their Facebook and their home address and phone number. There is zero chance I have misidentified the rightful owner.
They are far enough away that I can be certain this didn't fly off a trash truck through some crazy circumstance. They were probably in my area for work or maybe visiting someone they knew. Maybe it accidentally flew out their window as they drove by? That's the most charitable explanation I can summon.
If I bought medical cannabis and a receipt for that with my name on it ended up in someone else's yard, I'd want to know about it. So I did what my wife told me *not* to do (lol sorry honey) and I mailed the receipt back to its owner.
I'm on Cloud Nine. I'd buy a lottery ticket if I didn't already feel like the luckiest person ever. Thanks to everyone in this sub for being so inspirational!
Update: turns out I am willing to be weird and creepy if it means raising someone's awareness that their litter doesn't disappear when it leaves their possession. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯