u/bxkxbxkxshi

I haven’t contributed much to this sub and I deleted a previous post because I got overwhelmed by DMs. But I have been lurking and crying and reading your stories and I want to share just a moment of mine.

My dad was suffering and a lot was going wrong but it wasn’t his time. He went in for a standard procedure and an artery was nicked and he crashed. His body was too weak and frail to recover.

He fought all night to stay alive for us. My siblings and I all made it to the hospital as well as my mom who had been staying over. We had a miracle happen and after a night of holding his hand and talking to him, they were able to extubate him and he was awake and aware and we got several precious hours with him to talk and laugh and tell him that we were okay and he was going to be okay too. That we were there and would stay until he was ready.

He’s not in pain anymore. But I miss him. And it feels so unfair. This disease is so awful and this shouldn’t have happened like this. But I will cherish those hours and I’m so glad he saw my face and our family’s faces and he could tell us he loved us and he knew we loved him.

To members of this community — we understand each other in a way even our close friends cannot despite being strangers. And you all feel like my family. I am rooting for you. And I am here for you. I see you. Please be strong and hold your loved ones close.

My dad was diagnosed in October 2025. Symptoms started summer of 2024, he had 5 separate ERCPs and biopsies, all negative until the one in October. The hospital scheduled him for a whipple next day, and we pulled him for a second opinion, and sure enough within a week at the second hospital they confirmed it had already spread to his bones and spine and a whipple was not the right call. He hasn’t responded well to chemo. Can’t get our hands on daraxonrasib even though he’s a good candidate for it. He’s faced so many issues in the hospital due to mistakes, and while I’m trying to stay positive and forgive, it’s so hard. He lost 60+ pounds over a month due to a medical error that no one would listen to us about, until someone did, and they ‘fixed’ the issue but the damage was already done. We can’t look at the past, just trying to move ahead. But he’s so weak. He’s in the hospital again. He wants to get back on chemo, a new one they want to try, but he can’t. He’s not ready to give up but everything is failing him. He’s so scared and I’m so scared. I don’t know how im supposed to show up to work every day. I don’t know what I’m going to do without him. I’m so sorry to everyone here going through this. I’m with you. I want to hug you all. I’m so lost and just feel so alone. I miss him so much and he’s still here. I want him home. It feels so helpless. I don’t post much on Reddit and I probably won’t post again. But reading the posts here have me sobbing. You guys understand me, a complete stranger, in ways my best friends in the world don’t. I’m wishing all of you the best. None of us deserve this.