I’m starting to hate myself 😭
I’m in bed crying because I’m truly starting to hate the person I’ve become. My body has been through so much - miscarriage, pregnancy, c-section, cancer, chemo, radiation, surgeries, etc… and I was determined to come out stronger after every challenge. And I did it. In a span of 9 months I lost 25 lbs, I felt great. I didn’t have food noise. I was just so happy to be alive and able to workout again.
Then I lost it all. Gained every pound back and then some because I got lazy and started binging again. Every damn day I start off strong with food planned, drinking my water, collagen, electrolytes, you name it. And by the evening I’m binging on bullshit. Tonight it was peanut butter and sugar free chocolate chips by the spoonful.
I feel heavy, and sloth like and uncomfortable. I hate how I look, my clothes are all too tight. What is wrong with me? Why can’t I stop 😭😭😭