Husband misusing Dex
This is an ongoing issue.
Husband diagnosed ADHD and prescribed Dex last year. Started taking over the prescribed amount, did not disclose to anyone including his psych. His behaviour became out of character - typically a very calm person for 12+ years, suddenly agitated and aggressive towards myself and our young children. Examples include throwing furniture, punching a hole in the wall and telling our then 4 year old he would “kick him in the teeth”.
The above behaviours led me to start counting his Dex in secret, discovered he was over taking. Questioned him which he denied. In private I disclosed concerns to psych and GP. Psych asked how his meds were going and other covert questions in joint session, husband said all is fine and didn’t disclose more meds.
It came to a head, he was in denial there was an issue etc. Said “every guy looses it” and that I should be grateful he didn’t for so long.
His GP transitioned him to Vyvanse and 1x Dex too up daily. He requested I take control of his medication, which I stored in a locked box and hid the key. Initially I provided a weekly dose however his dose wasn’t lasting the week as he would take them too soon. We transitioned to me providing doses daily.
This has been ongoing for several months My GP recently disclosed to me discreetly that she had concerns he had been obtaining other scripts, had noted his file nobody else is allowed to prescribe and limited his repeats so the max amount he can obtain within a 6 month period is the exact dose he is prescribed with no spares. I am also ADHD and prescribed Vyvanse and Dex, she applied the same conditions to my script as a security measure. Husband is aware we both only have a set allocation within a 6 month period and there are no “spare” meds for “extras”.
Yesterday I counted the meds in the lock box and discovered he’s taken a substantial amount from his AND my packs. This leaves us both in the position of not having enough meds for the duration, broken trust because he has gone through my things to find the hidden key, taken meds without disclosing to me.
Previously when came to a head I explained I will support him if he feels his dosage isn’t high enough, offered to book apps for him to discuss stronger or larger doses to which he has declined. I also explained last time that lying about substances is a relationship breaker for me and non negotiable, my dad was a drug addict and it is a huge trigger for me. I have always been calm and supportive and explained he can make mistakes but honesty is what I value.
When confronted he apologised but there is no accountability. He refuses to accept he has a problem. I believe the over use of meds is a side affect of something else. At the start of our relationship in 2012-2015 he had problems with cocaine which I ended the relationship with him over.
He has recently been agitated and different with me and the children. I pulled him up on this and he transferred blame to me, but I know that’s not the true cause which is why I checked the meds count in the lock box.
He does not believe the behaviours are concerning, makes excuses or gaslights me. I’ve been supportive and done everything within my power, however I’m left feeling unsafe with broken trust.
What do I do from here? What are his/my options?