Letting the days go by (same as it ever was, same as it ever was)
Letting the days go by (same as it ever was, same as it ever was)
Once in a lifetime, let the water hold me down
Letting the days go by, water flowing underground
Cyclical senseless rant. Oddly enough, the only place I really share my work is here. It’s just drawings, but I think I appreciate the anonymity and foundational shared/similar experience. Generally, there is an odd disconnect I feel. As I go through life, I hide parts of myself from others in order to attain a truer version. It’s an odd undertaking that I don’t quite understand. I feel for some reason that this is what I need, yet the consequence of isolation is certainly felt. My lived experience is so distant from those who surround me, making it so I’m part of it all but beside it in an odd way. There’s a hyper-vigilance that comes with transitioning, an ever present wondering of what will happen to me. There’s a constant anxiety that heightens and lowers at its own frequency, but never dissipates. I live in an undulating dissatisfaction with myself and the world. I fear the reactions of others if they discover me, so much so it feels that there exists a level of vulnerability that is unattainable for me. There’s a level of freedom that I will never have. I’m limited in life but free in my expression. I realize that I’m just wandering and hoping for the best. I’m aware that’s what most people do. I’m no different aside from my resentment of my biology. How odd. I want to appreciate what’s good. What’s good? Hmmm. How odd.
Oh great the oil guy posted again
It’s a rainy night… Listened to music… Did these in one sitting…. Made some others too but didn’t take pictures… I’m so behind on class work… Time goes by so fast….