u/costaamalfitana

Hi everyone! Looking for input from people familiar with co-op applications/boards because I’m trying to understand whether this is a legitimate issue or if we’re being pushed unnecessarily.

My mom and I are in contract to purchase a co-op In Queens. Contract is signed, down payment has been given, and I already collected the board package paperwork. I also know someone who currently lives in the building, and he’s been helpful with answering questions and giving the board positive feedback about us.

Here’s where things got complicated:

My mother is married to my stepfather, but they have a prenup and keep finances/assets separate. She is helping me purchase the apartment and would also be listed as a shareholder/co-purchaser because she’s contributing financially. In the future she may potentially live there, but I would be the primary occupant.

Now the seller’s realtor and someone at the management company are saying the board would “automatically deny” us if my mother is on the application because she is married. They’re pushing for restructuring the entire deal so the apartment is only under my name and my mother would just “gift” me the money instead.

Their reasoning is basically that if someone is married, their spouse is expected to live with them / be part of the application. Apparently boards are “old school” and expect spouses to live together.

This doesn’t fully make sense to me because:

* people have different family situations

* some co-ops allow guarantors/co-purchasers/non-occupant shareholders

* snowbird situations exist

* married couples can keep finances separate

* and this concern is coming from the realtor/management contact, not the actual board

So my questions are:

Is there actually some rule/law in co-ops where a married person cannot purchase shares without including their spouse?

Have any of you seen boards deny applications solely because a spouse was not included?

Does this sound like a legitimate red flag, or more like people trying to make the application “cleaner” before submission?

Would restructuring ownership at this stage create other risks/issues for me?

I am already reaching out to my attorney, but I wanted to hear from people who’ve actually gone through co-op purchases and board applications.

Thanks in advance!