sigh
It gets me mad and sad. I always think to myself, why me? Why do I have to go thru this? CHS is so damn rare and I had to get it? I understand everything happens for a reason, but the only thing that somewhat helped me in many ways just got taken away from me like nothing. It gets me mad/sad because a lot of my mutuals and some family smoke weed and they are fine, that’s when I start thinking and just start questioning. It sucks because sometimes I would smoke weed to relieve stress and anxiety. (Yes I know there’s other ways to relieve that) but weed somewhat helped me. And then I got chs for the first time back in 2020. I’ve been in denial ever since. I would always try to make an excuse because I did not want to accept the fact that I had to quit smoking. Till this day I somewhat struggle. I’ve posted on this subreddit many times talking abt quitting and stuff but I always managed to smoke again and fuck myself up due to the consequences I know im gonna get from smoking weed. It really does suck. I started smoking weed at a very young age. I won’t lie I got addicted to it. I think I got addicted because when I first started, I was going thru shit and I was very vulnerable. I was sober but I started again around october/November of 2025 and as of right now im starting to get symptoms of CHS. I know in order for this shit to go away completely I know I gotta stop smoking. It sucks. I’ve been sober before so I know I can do it again but I just wanted to share this.