u/eidolaa

I messed up, and now I might get fired because of what happened

I work at a small bank in my area, and I've been there for almost two years. I'm not very happy in the role, but I had it in my head to treat it as a temporary step and gain some useful experience from it before looking for something else. I have an associate degree in Business Management, and I also recently became a certified notary.

At the beginning of this week, a customer requested a relatively large amount of cash. I went to the vault and took out what I needed, plus a little extra because the day before holidays gets busy and a lot of people come in to cash checks. I counted all the money, strapped the remainder, and sent the money out.

While I was doing that, I noticed that a strap had disappeared from my drawer. I spoke to the customer in the drive-thru and asked her to count her money while I counted mine. Thankfully, I had balanced just a little while before helping her, so it didn't take long to figure out what had happened. My drawer appeared to be short a large amount.

When I tried to speak to the customer again to have her send the cash back inside, she drove away before I could even explain what had happened. Later, when they contacted her, she denied receiving any extra money. My manager counted the money with me, had me write a statement, and said that this amount is usually grounds for immediate termination. She said she believes me based on the evidence, but also said the decision could go either way.

This is only the third real job I've had. Before this, I worked retail at a grocery store for about six years. I'm also about to move into a new apartment that costs almost twice what I'm paying now, because the landlord where I currently live is selling the place. When I told my parents what happened and asked if they could help me if I lost my job, their answer was basically "maybe," even though they had previously said I could stay with them if I needed to. I have enough savings to cover a few weeks without work, but the new apartment situation has me extremely stressed about the timing.

Some people have told me I should resign now instead of waiting to be fired, because that might look better on my resume. Other people are saying I shouldn't resign and should wait, because I might be able to get unemployment.

What's the best move here? Should I let the investigation finish and see what happens, or resign before they decide?

Honestly, I'm terrified and feel physically sick from all the anxiety over this. I'd be grateful for any advice.

Hi! I hope this topic isn't too broad for this sub. The short version is that I basically spent until age 29 doing the same "sitting at home playing games and avoiding real life" story. I've genuinely never had a job. I also didn't get a formal education when I was younger, but recently I studied on my own and got a GED. Now I'm trying to figure out how to turn that into a real future.

TL;DR: I have no savings, no work history, and I live in a very isolated area. I have a free room and food with my parents, so I could live on a low-paying job for a while, but I don't want to spend years wandering aimlessly unless it's building me toward something real. What path would you recommend for someone like me so that eventually I can get stable work with decent pay? It doesn't have to happen right away. I don't mind starting at the bottom and moving slowly, because I'm not under urgent financial pressure. Please assume I know almost nothing about how normal adult life/work works. I'm embarrassingly behind in that area. I'm looking for direction on what to do with my life.

More details:
My goals: The thing I want most in life is a family. I don't even have a girlfriend right now, and honestly I have no idea if there are any single women close to my age around me at all lol, so it's not exactly close. But I want to be able to give and keep them from living on the edge all the time. I'm not chasing $120k a year or a big prestigious career or anything like that. I just want reliable income and work that is stable, or in demand enough that I'm not constantly terrified everything will fall apart. I know starting late limits my options, but this is still what I hope to reach.

My situation: I still live with my parents. I have $0 in savings, but they don't mind me staying here indefinitely because I help a lot. I'm in a small town in Idaho, about 750 people. The nearest town with maybe 20k+ people is about 50 minutes away, and the nearest city of about 120k+ is roughly an hour and a half away, and the nearest major metro is close to 2.5 hours away. I have no friends, no professional contacts, and no kind of network.

Me as a person: I'm tall and physically strong, but my balance is very bad. I get random dizziness/lightheadedness that can make me come close to falling, so ladders/high places aren't an option unless I can figure out that issue. I'd say I'm reasonably intelligent, but I'm not good at memorizing things just because I heard or saw them once. If I do something with my hands, it sticks much better. I'm somewhat introverted, but not to the point that I'd refuse a job involving customers or a lot of people. I might just be awkward at first lol. I can explain myself well, but I'm definitely not charming or naturally good at selling myself.

My thoughts so far: I've thought about web development, learning from home with freeCodeCamp and some other resources, and I've made some progress. I also looked at the idea of going to school/college for something like radiologic technology, but the nearest community college would be about an hour and 25 minutes away, and I assume there are prerequisites and a long application process. As far as I know, it could turn into a 4-year ordeal, and honestly I don't understand college systems well enough to judge whether that's smart or not. The other idea is to get any job I can and keep applying for better things, like starting at a grocery store or Home Depot and then trying to move to better employers later. Those are also roughly an hour away from me, which complicates things.

Anyway, sorry for rambling. I'm very lost and no one in my family can really help me make a practical plan for the future. I'd appreciate any advice from people who understand careers, training, trades, college, or even how to start from almost zero. Thanks for reading, if anyone made it this far lol. I know posts like this probably show up here all the time.

When you're just starting out, there's a lot of pressure to get your whole life in order quickly - your career direction, study choices, job titles, relationships - and it's very easy to chase after anything that feels urgent instead of focusing on what will matter later.

There are decisions that get made in the early years of work that don't seem like a big deal at the time, but over time you find that they've come back to affect you.

Our office is very small. So small that there were 8 of us, and now we're 7. A few Fridays ago, I saw my coworker collapse in the manager's office because of a ruptured brain aneurysm. I called emergency services. Everyone either froze in place or panicked and fell apart. I don't know how to describe what happened other than that it was traumatic.

I still haven't gone back to the office yet, but we're supposed to go back on Wednesday. Part of me knows that time will make the feeling less intense, but right now I'm afraid that the place that used to feel comfortable and cheerful to me will stay awful and painful for a long time.

The owner and the manager both told me to take whatever time I need to deal with what happened, talk to someone, go to therapy, and all that. Honestly, I'm not even sure what I'm asking for here. Has anyone gone through something similar at work? I'm worried I won't be able to focus, because every so often I see her in front of me on the floor, and the paramedics taking her out, and I hear the fear in the manager's voice and the calls for help. Even just thinking about sitting next to the empty desk beside me feels like way too much right now.

https://preview.redd.it/cxt13iy5tu8h1.png?width=858&format=png&auto=webp&s=1aa008fe2616d329d97062654ac582c28881910c

By my calculations I should be able to buy a house when I'm 80.

I agree

25 minutes after the start of my shift, my stomach started acting up, so I ran to the bathroom. When I got back, I found my manager already annoyed. He started interrogating me about stupid things like why I hadn't gone before clocking in. I'm one of the best people working for him, and a lot of people there have said that, but for some reason he always singles me out. So after about 3 hours, I left. Fuck slave labor. Now I'm stressed and not really sure what's going to happen next.

To clarify, when I say I'm not sure what's going to happen next, it's because I have college expenses coming up and I'm still waiting for my student loans to be approved. I'm staying with my parents, so I'm not completely screwed financially. But seriously, you have no idea how bad this place is. They don't even pay us for public holidays unless we use PTO, and you have to work there for about 14 months before you're even eligible to take PTO.

Honestly, this job seems like trash, right?

Update: Woow, I didn’t imagine my post would blow up like this. I read most of the comments, and honestly, I agree with you guys I can’t keep working there anymore.

I also saw this post here on reddit about something called 'cold emailing' to find a job, and I really liked the idea. I’m going to try it and hopefully find a better opportunity soon. I’ll definitely update you all.

Currently, my job is very close to home - maybe exactly a ten-minute drive. I specifically looked for a nearby job after the baby arrived, knowing that my spouse's job often takes them outside our immediate area. Before this, I worked in a large, bustling area, and my usual commute there was about an hour and a half round trip by public transport, that is, if there were no delays.

Honestly, this current job has turned out to be a bit disappointing. My income is around 98k, but health insurance premiums are very expensive, costing me about a thousand dollars every month. When we factor in childcare expenses, there's barely anything left. I understood the salary during the interview, but the poor health insurance really surprised me. I'm seriously considering returning to my old job; I left that job on very good terms. This current job is very demanding, and their pension plan isn't the best. Even some of my more experienced colleagues here suggested I might be better off returning to my old company because their pension benefits are superior. I spent 14 years there and need to complete 18 years to receive all benefits, which means a total of 32 years of service.

That old job was very intense, like being on a high-pressure stock exchange at times. But the financial compensation was much better. I was earning 115k, health insurance costs were almost zero, and the 401k plan was much stronger. I'm thinking of contacting my old manager; I'm sure he'd be very happy if I returned. The problem is, on some mornings now, the baby needs me around 7:15 AM, and I can comfortably get to my current job on time! That was absolutely impossible before. I would have already been on public transport by 5:45 AM or 6:10 AM then...

Is sacrificing that extra time with my family truly worth the financial gains? Moving closer to my old job is simply not an option for us.